If she rejects a long distance relationship is it because you

>>18649036
Long distance relationships never work out because girls crave the dick.

neither. long distance relationships are shit and a waste of time. especially if there is no immediate plan to move close to each other.

4 years at college? why bother wasting etiher of your time, you wont be able to enjoy tim etogether.

in all honesty if the relationship was worth doing that for then its worth someone just moving to follow the other person.

>>18649036
Many different factors play into why someone doesn't want to pursue that.
Its unlikely you weren't that good if you lasted til then.

Some people just can't go the distance. I absolutely love my gf. But she was speaking about doing a year abroad working and I know I couldn't last that long without her around.

Not because I need sex, but because I love seeing her. I get the urge to see her at least once a week or two weeks. I couldn't deal with that feeling and not seeing her for so long.

>>18649065
>>18649067
>>18649068
it's just weird. maybe I got too attached but I really felt like she was a or the "one" so I really wanted and was willing to deal with whatever distance however I could. idk.

neither of us had a relationship before that point so I'm surprised she cut the cord. it just feels very emasculating

>>18649081

>havent had a relationship before this
>SURPRISED she cut the chord

opposite. she has never had a relationship outside of you, why would she blindly pledge allegiance to you with distance between you.

whats the deal, where is she going and for how long? how long would it be until you're 'together'?

there is nothing emasculating about this

>>18649087
I mean it's done and over with but she was going to school in the northeast and we live in the southeast.

>she has never had a relationship outside of you, why would she blindly pledge allegiance to you with distance between you.
because idk we strongly identified with each other. I get that it's still first relationship but idk.
>there is nothing emasculating about this
hard for me to accept.

>>18649093
Its your first break up. Deal with it.
College is a big reason for breakups because it partitions your life.

>>18649103
well it's the end of college, and now I'm stuck with dumbasses for the rest of my career.
like the thing is that she's an extremely quiet and introverted girl who doesn't use facebook or any social media outside of texting friends.
how the fuck do I find someone like that ever again? I only found her because we worked a dumb summer job

>>18649108
You won't? No person is exactly alike. Expand your horizons.

>>18649117
But I don't want a fucking vapid bimbo m8.

>>18649119
There are more people in between quiet/introverted and bimbo.

My first GF was the quiet type and we didn't mesh well.
My current GF is a more outgoing outdoorsy teacher and we get along amazingly despite huge differences in hobbies n taste.

>>18649125
People maybe. Women it seems doubtful

I have known two types of women in my life. I have met two girls who were ultra introverted and very quiet (one of which I didn't ask out and slightly regret)

and the rest of women who are loud, spout Tumblr memes, spout Facebook memes, talk about inane bullshit all the time.

>>18649125
>>18649130
to be clear the first quiet girl played organ and is studying at a conservatory now, the second is studying in the northeast

>>18649130
Thats because the quiet ones are noticeable because they're quiet and the loud ones are noticeable because they're fucking loud.

The happy medium between the two are harder to notice because they're doing their own thing.
And the fact you seem to be all knowledgeable about women seems to point towards a couple reasons why LDR didn't work.

>>18649175
>And the fact you seem to be all knowledgeable about women seems to point towards a couple reasons why LDR didn't work.
dude I'm not /r/theredpill or anything, in fact I hate all that cringy "women only want sex" bullshit. but it's genuinely almost impossible for me to find intelligent, quiet women. there are plenty of quiet guys who play vidya but never approach people in public and do their own thing.

>>18649182
You said its doubtful that women can be anything but quiet/introverted or vapid bimbos.

And its not just intelligent quiet people. What you're talking about is people you genuinely have a connection with. 95% of people are NOT going to match with you regardless.

>>18649193
>You said its doubtful that women can be anything but quiet/introverted or vapid bimbos.
just my own experience through my years, I don't actually think that.
>What you're talking about is people you genuinely have a connection with.
usually if they're quiet and intelligent it means they have cool ideas/thoughts that they just don't get to tell people and that's good enough for me

>>18649202
Or it means they're boring as fuck.
one of my FWB was quiet and dya know what she had in her head?
Nothing aside from detachment and basically sitting around all day.
No aspirations, no creative thoughts. The only real interests she had were shagging and cats.

Just because someones quiet doesn't mean they're better. Don't confuse deep with quiet. Some people don't speak out of choice but others legitimately have nothing to say.

>>18649209
oh fair enough, I get that. and I mean that's what I was waiting to see through dating, if she actually had interests or if she was just a dull solitary person.
in the cases of the few I've known they actually have passions but I definitely agree that "quiet/introverted" is not automatic GF material. that's what dating is for yeah?

>>18649093

okay, so why would she agree to what would be at least 4 years of not seeing each other? it sounds dumb. if its so important to stay together why didnt you offer to move with her?

>>18649240
because it wouldn't work (immediately anyways) because I lack the money.

>>18649036
Because its a long distance relationship.

Most of the relationship is the closeness and the sexy time. She probably dreams of that.

You feel shit on for being rejected. Welp you said shes never had a relationship before, maybe she feels shit on because now youve given her the impression an ldr is all she can get.

>>18649264
>maybe she feels shit on because now youve given her the impression an ldr is all she can get.
lol idk dude she doesn't seem super broken up about it. like I never saw her sad around me or anything after the breakup (at work). she's probably thinking of all the guys she can pursue now that she's had experience

>>18649264
>>18649272
not even sexual at all just kissing but still like I'm assuming she's not hurting as much as me

>>18649247

did you explain that or just go off on the ide athat you'd be long distance for 4 years?

>>18649301
I mean here's the chronology
>go on three dates all of which go well (last one she even talks about the next one)
>next asks me to coffee to talk about her going northeast
>asks if I think we should continue seeing each other
>I say "yeah"
>we chat for 30 minutes-1 hour just fun chit chat not serious relationship shit
>kiss and head our ways
>next day texts "I've been thinking and I don't think we should see each other. It's been going really well but since I'm leaving soon I don't think it's a good idea"
>accept it
>later decide to say "just so you know, if you wanted a LDR I would be totally open to that and do everything I could to maintain it"
>she says "that's very sweet but I considered LDR and I wouldn't be comfortable with it."

there, that's an abbreviated full story

>>18649310

>only been on 3 dates
>mad that this girl wont dedicate the next 4 years of her life to him wtih no actual plan to get together again

HAHAHAHAHA.

>>18649328
dude I'm not asking for four years you dope.
and LDR doesn't even presume that we would keep going.
we were going to see each other for 4 months before she left.

>>18649330

>LDR doesn't even presume we would keep going?

what? its literally a long distance relationship, with the intent to continue dating while distanced. the whole point is to 'keep going'.

look you went on 3 dates and shes moving. its no big deal. move on

>>18649343
but IDK how I'll find a quiet intelligent girl after her

my occupation (teaching) is full of dumbass bimbos

>>18649343
>>18649347
and it's still hard for me to believe that she dislikes LDRs to the point that she would pass on one even with someone she deeply identified with. am I wrong on that?
idk if I really was inadequate or not.

I feel like I got no conclusive answers from this thread

well /adv/ I guess you helped a little. it's just hard for me to imagine her feeling any hurt from it compared to me but I guess I have to tell myself that it's not just hard for me. fair enough.

>>18649354

dude everyone dislikes LDRs, they are pointless and never work, and you only went on 3 dates, so yeah you are wrong on that.

>>18649421

because you ignore them. the only 'conclusive' answer in your mind is the kind you want to hear.

but the real advice (re: get over it you only had three dates shed be crazy to LDR you) is usually the kind you dont want to hear

Shit buddy I'm basically mid break up with my long distance gf. In our situation it's sort of mutual, I've been trying to get a job up there for like 5 months but Ive had no luck. I was willing to move 6 hours away from my entire family for her.

Time and distance dulls everything.

It's comical how much it sucks, but I just can't seem to feel anything anymore. I helped her write the cover letter that landed her the job that would ultimately tear us apart.

I can't blame her, we both had this voiceless concern.

First relationship, 3 years long. Thought she might be the one. Tomorrow I'll probably find out, but I think it's over. I could feel the distance growing. It doesn't come as a surprise.

One less reason to be alive for me, but I guess we have to reinvent ourselves constantly. I try to know that this is just a comically shit point in my life. All m effort of going up and down for job interviews to be with the woman I love and she gets her dream job on a lucky break and suddenly I'm just the dead weight.

Fuck, it sucks by I see the logic in it. I dunno if I'm dead inside or if it hasn't hit me yet, I feel like I should cry but I haven't been able to in years. It's like not being able to cum.

>>18649036
every single LDR i've seen has crumbled leaving the man an emotional fucking toilet.

LDRs are for cucks

>>18649571
That really sucks Anon. Hope you recover, life is pain. Woman don't love.

>>18650059
Never mind that last bit I was having a bad time myself with ldr.