Right now it's all between suicide and a 0.05% chance of

>>18647984
You need god

>>18647984
>a 0.05% chance

So you admit there's a chance? Thats all you need fag

>>18647984
Ya I spent my middle school and high school life dead inside with no emotions. Your doing what I did. "I have to be successful or kill myself there's no choice" there are an infinite amount of other choices. Stop pushing your self so hard and stop over complicating you situation. Life can be fun, relaxing and rewarding. But your perception is seriously twisted.

>>18647984
All I can read in your pasta are excuses, you are the one who doesn't want to be succesful, just kys already, if YOU think you are so worthless, I hate people like you, because you want to blame everything on other people, or misfortunes and not in yourself.

No one is so mentally unstable that can't hold a conversation, not even crazy dudes

>>18648070
I wish I can say the same thing myself. Yeah and you can probably tell how screwed up my perception is.

I'm afraid I have already turned Bipolar so I'll never be able to be just "simply happy" and "have some simple fun". I get no reward from it. I was never happy, my mother has been dead inside her entire life, so imagine living with this kind of person for 19 years, obeying her rules? I can only feel satisfaction and pleasure now, and I'll probably be like that for the rest of my life. Bipolar disorder never fixes itself.

How much of an infinite amount of other choices are there out there, I'm wondering?

>>18648131
I already said that I'm not the blame-on-everything type. Whenever there is something negative that I can fix, I fix. I was fat and never blamed being fat on anyone, gone to gym and after 1 year I'm decently muscular now.

Let me re-write then: I'm unlucky to have been raised by this crazy woman that is my mother. Now I'm unsure, you can guess how low my confidence is, being a feminized man like I am. Also don't get me wrong, i love and respect my mother, but the way her borderline affected me is very bad.

I can hold a conversation, but I'm never relaxed when around girls that attract me sexually.

The rest is explained with all of my sincerity.

>>18647984
>there's a ~1 in 200 chance scientists will find aliens in the next 6 months
ANON I NEED TO KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GETTING THIS INFORMATION.

File: 1502990688478.jpg (40KB, 600x772px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 600x772px

>>18648435
I'd like to know which school taught you math.

You need to read this book. This is about recreating the success of others. Anyone can do it. I was in your spot three years ago and now I'm on my way to becoming a surgeon.

https://www.amazon.com/Emprint-Method-Guide-Reproducing-Competence/dp/0932573029

>>18648435
lol'd

>>18648548
do you have autism

>>18648131
>No one is so mentally unstable that can't hold a conversation, not even crazy dudes
youre such a dumbass. they're living under bridges or cooped up in looney bins/on SSI.

>>18648134
I can only feel satisfaction and pleasure now,
>wrong
and I'll probably be like that for the rest of my life.
>only if that's your choice
Bipolar disorder never fixes itself.
>wrong

your problem is that living in such a fucked up environment modeled your view of the entire world, but you lived in a tiny little portion of the planet- life isn't actually like that. if you want to unlearn all the lies you've told yourself and change your beliefs, then you can actually be happy. read this in it's entirety

https://islamiconlineuniversity.com/counseling/resources/David%20Burns%20-%20Feeling%20Good.pdf