Hello /adv/ I ruined my life 2 years ago I graduated high school

>>18647781
Hahahahhaa, please be true

Kill yourself faggot

>>18647781

You'll never be able to admit the sum of your lies, so you are just going to have to follow through. Find something you can do quickly, like a TEFL course or civic service, tell your family uni just isn't working out for you at the moment so you are going to do that for a bit to get your head straight, and get the fuck out of the country.
keep in touch but cut all dependencies.
Find a job somewhere, anywhere, and build from that.

If you are still enrolled, you should have access to a counselor at your school's health center. What you're experiencing is not normal and you've already recognized it as a negative behavior that you want to change. It's not too late to fix things and get back on track, but I think this will require some professional help and a lot of support - so it may involve coming clean to your family at some point soon. This is so that you won't be inclined to continue hiding and enabling your behavior.

>>18647954
This is a crummy short term solution to a long term problem. I don't know if OP is willing to cut all ties from his family for a shot to possibly be marginally successful

You have adult adhd. I got so depressed in my first year i started cutting myself. Failed that year horribly, had to take a year out. Games, drugs - fucking anyything to escape the shitty reality i was living- all while it snowballed out of my control. dont know you, cant be sure, but just get seen by a psychiatrist. Ask your family if the thought you had it ut passed it off as growing pains or some shit.

>>18647979
I didn't say cut ties, but cut lifelines that oblige him to pretend being someone he is not.

OP will never come clean. I'm sorry but only way out of that thick a web is spinning an exit.

>>18647993
I disagree. Coming clean will save his life. Your route just goes deeper and deeper into deception, regret, and self loathing

>>18648002

Sure, I completely agree.But he won't do it.
So he's going to have to figure something else out.

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>>18647781
You know the only solution : Be honest.
Call your parents immediately, I don't care what time it is, confess and you'll feel the burden off your shoulders. You've got to do it buddy, I've seen this too many times here, and it's the only way. It's only 2 years, a dude here waited 2 years after his "graduation" to confess.
So just do it

Wait - what's the difference between mine and OPs comment, to the ones that have red numbers. Literally my first time on 4chan, pretty confused

Go talk to your dean.

Tell them you use computer games and other online communities (such as 4chan/reddit/whatever) as a way to escape feeling let down/disappointed in yourself (though probably don't mention 4chan at all...).

University tutors and professors deal with people like you (and me) all the time. You may have failed this year (or last year) - but they will still see in you the characteristics that got you accepted int he first place. Everyone goes through shit and everyone makes mistakes. You are no different, and it sounds like you have put a fair bit of pressure upon yourself based on your families expectations.

In the eyes of the institution, you were good enough to be enrolled. You may not think you still are, but they probably do.

Stress, anxiety and depression effect everyone differently - but unless you talk about it, people will think you flunked out because you didn't care. You need to let people know that personal and/or academic problems are the reason your performance dipped. That shit happens to everyone, and everyone will understand.

>>18648580
They have a re-admissions process and I wrote a whole book in the application about my situation, but was given a no and then they just ignored emails.

I was told I had to wait a year before I could reapply. When I went to go reapply a month ago I was rejected. Turns out you also have to get like 5 credit hours in addition to that from another college.

I'm thinking of re applying in the spring to some other place for a math Major. I been reading textbooks online for calculus and studying linear algebra. Is this a good idea? It would be a good excuse of taking longer and I'm genuinely interested in the subject. I'm just afraid that I'll do the same thing.

Also thanks for the responses.

>>18648407
My brother has been having real financial problems because of stress with his job and bills

If could of been out there helping him since I was living in his house

He would just feel betrayed. He should I'm a piece of shit for doing this.

Also my dad and my mom had suffered their whole life. They're so proud that there son is so smart and is making a life for himself. They would still love me no matter what and I can take solace in that, but I just can't bring myself to tell them.

If I wasn't an idiot I probably would take your advice.

>>18647976
This, you're mentally ill OP. Please seek help, I went through similar shit but I'm in school again and my life is fine.

Fuck everyone else in this thread.

>>18647781
If all else fails, join the military.

>>18647781
What the fuck dude? How can you live with yourself? Please tell me, because I can't wrap my head around it.

Even if you are mentally ill, it is not a valid excuse to mislead your family like you do. I don't know what exactly do you expect, but I can tell you that you don't deserve an ounce of compassion. You are a lazy coward and I can assure you that your lies will sooner or later be revealed and you will have to face them whether you want it or not. Get your shit together instead of shitposting for pity yous on 4chan.

Shame on you.

>>18648852
>you don't deserve an ounce of compassion
>Rationalizing why you arent acting compassionate to him
You dont possess the minimum requirements to be considered human.
Who the fuck do you think you are to try to shame him about his behavior then?

I do this exact same thing except im too poor for medication. im probably going to kill myself because there's no way out of this hole. the military doesn't even accept people with mental illnesses. im fucked

>>18648746
A math major? Anon that degree is useless without a masters. You really need to work your ass off for that. If you are excellent at math then that is cool but you still have to take the crummy undergrad classes that have nothing to do with your major.

>>18647781
You're depressed. You need to deal with your depression. Medication might help you so you should see a psychiatrist.