i'm so frustrated with myself. i'm a hikki neet and

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i'm so frustrated with myself. i'm a hikki neet and i spend every day all day in bed and i can't get out. there's many things i wish to do but i can't make myself do anything. i'd like to draw but when i do rarely manage to make myself climb out of bed and i cant make myself do it, i just stare at my tablet till i go back to bed. i spend all day mindlessly clicking through imageboards and twitter. i used to wonder how people get up every day and go to work but now i wonder how they get up and brush their teeth every day. i've been like for nearly 10 years now and i'm completely pathetic. i don't have any friends to talk to and my family is all absuive horrible people. i'm frustrated with myself and wonder what's wrong with me that i'd rather stare at a blank wall for months than do something like watch anime or draw something. i worry greatly these next 10 years will be like the last.

there's no point to this post, i just wanted to dump my mind in a place someone would see it.