I recently hit my girlfriend. I did not punch her. i slapped

>>18641939
>We were wasted drunk. WHAT I DID WAS WRONG AND IM FEELING SO FUCKING SICK IM CRYING THINKING ABOUT IT THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO TO EVER MAKE THIS RIGHT.
Are you retarded? It was a slap. You didn't fucking rape her pets in front of her. It was a bad thing to do but holy shit, you're being a caricature right now.

>>18641947
I'm not retarded and in the back of my mind i think that too a little bit. To her it's the worst thing in the world though and if it scares and upsets her that much then it's a big deal. It's affecting my life like i imagine if i punched my gf would.

>>18641947

You are being hysterical and exaggerating the importance of the event.
You slapped her and thats wrong.
You apologized and that makes it right.
If she can't process that people sometimes make mistakes and wont get over it, even though you apologized, then she does not really love you to begin with and you'll have to be the one to move on.

>>18641956
well
sometimes women keep pushing it
they just don't leave it alone
then it's absolutely right to slap a woman

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>>18641967

3/10

>>18641961

>You apologized and that makes it right.

I don't really think thats up to you to decide. I'm pretty sure thats up to the person that was hit in the face. She is well within reason not to accept his apology and choose not to be in a relationship with someone capable of hitting her when they're mad. Lets also not forget that hitting a woman and then profusely apologizing, promising to never do it again is classic abusive male behavior. I'm not saying that is who OP is but I am saying that it would be completely reasonable for a woman not to want to stick around and find out.

I think its really fucking dumb to say that the apology automatically makes it right and that if she doesn't accept it she doesn't really love him. He hit her and its absolutely 100% reasonable and justifiable for her to decide she doesn't want to risk it happening again. Love doesn't have anything to do with.

This is a tough one for me. I don't know if I could be with my boyfriend if he ever physically hurt me intentionally. If he were to slap me, drunk or not, I'd feel like it was no longer 100% safe to be around him. I'd be tempted to have my guard up, or emotionally shut down to avoid doing anything to prompt another slap. I don't know if I'd continue seeing him as the partner I'd trust with my life and tell anything to. I'd certainly try, it's just impossible for me to say how I would feel in that situation.

I get that you apologized, but have you really talked about what happened? Have you discussed how slapping your gf made her feel? It's not always enough to just apologize and think it's all over. You made a mistake, and you gotta work through it by talking about it

>>18641961
OK I would like to think that its not the worst thing in the world.

but she immediately told her friends and family and they all think its awful and tell her to break up with me and never speak again.

Fuck she's an amazing woman exaggerated or not i don't want to hurt her like this.

3 year relationship spend literally every waking moment together before now.

>>18641977
this is exaclty what i think do you have any advice friend i AM NOT that person i don't even know where this came from. She has even said the same thing but now she is scared and scarred.

>>18641978
I tell her what i told you it makes me sick i can't sleep im so fucking sorry ive been telling her for days. i get it but please am i just fucked. do i just do my best to talk to her and then accept her decision? I want things to go back to normal I don't want her to never 100% trust me again. I will end up forever alone if she leaves i have no motivation to find someone else she is perfect.

i fucked up bad and the worst part is its not me and i never knew i was capable of going off the deep end like this.

>>18641987
Okay well first of all, you won't end up forever alone, and idealizing her and the relationship and believing it's this or dying alone isn't healthy.

Second of all, I know that this has torn you up inside, but if what you've talked about here is all you've talked about, then that's been a lot of you talking about your own feelings instead of trying to understand how she feels. Try and get a better understanding of what's going through her head right now. Empathy is always good--how would you feel if your loved one just lashed out at you and slapped you in the face because they didn't like what you'd said? Also, it'd be good to try to think of ways to keep this from ever happening again, by yourself or as a couple

My boyfriend recently hit me in a fit of rage while drunk, it wasn't just a slap either it was a very hard hit to my cheek. At the time he was lying outside on the driveway of my cabin and he was angry at me for playing online video games with my friends instead of him. It was 2am and I tried to get him to come inside but he refused and got up and yelled stuff about how "I dont care about him." in my face and then proceeded to hit me. I just walked away and went inside.

The next morning he claimed to not remember it happening but, I'm not sure if that's the truth or not. I'm still with him, and since that happened he told me he is never going to drink to get drunk again and will only have a beer here and there.

I wish he was as apologetic about it as you are. I really wish he expressed how bad he feels about what happened. He apologized once but it didnt seem very sincere. I'm happy he isn't drinking anymore, that shows he is mature about it.

I just want you to know that there are people that make mistakes like that, it happened. There is nothing you can do about it. You obviously feel terrible about it, and thats good. If you've expressed that to your girlfriend, that's all you can really do at this point. It really depends on her personality and how she handles situations like that, by the looks of it.

I would give her some space. If she constantly complains about things you do, just leave her alone for a while. She'll either realize she misses you and wants you around or she leaves and finds some other guy to fuck. Either way, you win honestly. 1. You keep your girlfriend that you love and she shows you affection and stops complaining or 2. You lose a stupid bitch who doesn't know how to appreciate what she has.

>>18641987

>this is exaclty what i think do you have any advice friend i AM NOT that person i don't even know where this came from. She has even said the same thing but now she is scared and scarred.

You've apologized. You've reached out. There isn't anything else you can do. Either she'll make an effort to work through this with you or she won't. The ball is in her court. I think what you did was awful but, generally speaking, the fact that you're ready to accept the consequences of your actions is at least a step in the right direction. There is a good chance she might not ever get over this and, as you said, you would deserve it. If thats the case, take your lumps and move on.

Either way, get some therapy. Get to the bottom of this outburst before something like this happens again. Most important, don't ever pick up another drink in your life.

>>18641977
>I don't really think thats up to you to decide I'm pretty sure thats up to the person that was hit in the face.
You are very confused about this.
Let me put it this way:
It does absolutely make it right, because thats the only thing that he can do about it.
No he can not go back in time to stop himself from doing that.
On the other hand it is up to her to decide whether to forgive him or not.

>I am saying that it would be completely reasonable for a woman not to want to stick around and find out.
Thats okay.
If she does not want to stay in relationship because of a mistake that could happen to anyone when drunk even though the person did everything that was possible to make up for it then she does not love him.
Simple as that.

>ustifiable for her to decide she doesn't want to risk it happening again
If you loved someone enough you would risk it.
Its not like he has a pattern of doing it.
He did it once.
Basing an inductive conclusion, generalization or decision on just 1 instance is way too unreliable.

>>18641939
>I recently hit my girlfriend.
>I did not punch her. i slapped her. imagine a hard bitch slap.
>she was saying hurtful things. Not nasty but complaining about me and things she didn't like. She does this fairly often.

Good job, son. You're a man now.

>>18642010
did you tell your friends? did you cry? you seem strong like it didn't affect you or maybe it was a long time ago?

He probably has no memory of it if he's a good person at heart.

thank you for responding.

>>18642013
I am an alcholic and recently coming to terms with it. Im high functioning and don't believe it affects my ability to live and make money but i drink a lot.

I stopped drinking but then i started again because i literally did not sleep for days. It helps me sleep now.

If you guys are still reading I have to provide more context.

We had a good night recently. AS IN ALMOST FIXING THIS SHIT (drinking again) it was going well and then i started being moody and accusing her of cheating. Apparently I am turning into a legit mental crazy person. I went through her phone and then threw wine on her. (liquid only) i found non incriminating texts of her being friendly to other guys in her phone.

MY conclusion is i have a deep seeded fear of being cheated on because thats what broke my heart in my first relationship. So my drunk brain freaked out.

I know how bad this sounds and im ready to accept that im legit going crazy because i drink and have emotional issues.

This all just blew up in my face though. IT's all my fault. She really is the perfect girl sweet caring cooks cleans takes care of me always considering me.

Her main issue is i don't consider her like she does for me.

I want to. It just isn't something i do naturally though. I have no experience caring for other people. I am an introvert loner who believes no one cares about me. Except her of course.

She does she loves me. I love her

There was a friend staying with us at the cabin that night. When I went inside I did tell him about it, but he didnt have a very enthusiastic reaction because he is very stand-offish with issues that cause stress. I did cry that night and the morning I had to tell him but I think it's best left forgotten now. I would rather look forward to the future I have with my boyfriend than back at mistakes. If it happens again though, I know I'll have to be strong enough to leave him. I'm confident he will keep his promise of never hitting me again though.

>>18642018
>>18642040
Sorry forgot the reply tag

>>18642040
I wish you could talk to my girl. Do you think if you had friends taking your side and urging you to leave it would be different?

I am sorry you had no one to talk to that really cared. You are a saint for moving on.

Is it 100% fixed for now?

tell me more. Thanks again

>>18642040

How old are you can you give me more context? I really think talking to a girl who has been on that side can maybe help somehow

Big deal. She probably liked it anyway.

>>18642053
>>18642060
I am 20 and my boyfriend is 24, we've been together for almost 2 years now. (2 in a month and 5 days). It's really tough to say if her going to her friends about it is a good idea. Does she maybe have a sister? Her friends will definitely tell her that you are a huge asshole and that she should move on asap. But if she has a sister, preferably older than her. She can go to her for support with a more rational train of thought.

Another thing, OP. If you have any friends that can vouch for you. That is ideal. Especially if the friend is female.

The friend my boyfriend and I had out at our cabin reassured me about my boyfriends intentions to be with me and have a happy relationship with me. He mentioned nothing of the event but what he said really opened my eyes. The friend out there has been my boyfriends friend since they were in 1st grade.

>>18642078
Her sister is older but does lots of drugs and promiscuous i don't think she is a healthy person she moved to cali to be part of the scene. she did talk to her about it. I think her sister is a nice person but has history of smoking meth and a new boyfriend every few weeks.

unfortunately i have no friends just her. A couple people i text occasional but i have 0 friends i can talk to about this incident.

my mom might vouch for me hah.

fuck your right i wish i had social network in place.

I don't think it was wrong for her to talk to people about it but maybe doing it right away was a mistake because yes of course to everyone she tells im a scumbag (which is logical)


Now everyone she knows hates me and its going to be tough to convince them im not garbage

fuck me

she is 30 i am 25

>>18642078
i posted this too which is relevant

>>18642039

not sure if you read it.

This whole thing is so embarrassing thanks for talking to me i wish i had a good friend who knew all the context but i don't

>>18642096
My boyfriend and I went through something a bit similar when him and I were 5 months into dating. I had an online friend who I would go to for advice with my relationship because I don't have much relationship expirerience at all. This is only my second relationship in my life and my first was a high school fling sort of deal. A 3 month relationship.

Basically how it happened was, my boyfriend was very suspicious of me talking to this online friend (who was male) and one day he logged into my messenger account on his phone. He wasnt pleased with what he saw, as I was talking to my online friend about my sex life with my boyfriend. He took it the worst way possible and ended up going to his mother for advice. He showed her the messages between me and my online friend and his mom told him to get out of the relationship immediately. I was obviously very upset about this and we went through a very horrible few weeks and ended up breaking up for about a month and a half. I said some brutal things to him over text and he showed his friends those texts. I was pretty close to his friends before all of that went down. We'd often go to my boyfriends house to play MTG and DnD and things like that.

Even though him and I are back together, its still very taboo with where im at with his family. And I still havent been in contact with any of his friends since then at all.

I havent spoken to my online friend at all either. I am like you in that respect my social circle is very small and I keep to myself quite often. I was devastated when I found out his friends basically think Im satan now. Its still like that and I dont think hes attempted to bring me up to his friends since then at all and that was over a year ago.

>>18642066
Hahahahah

>>18642039
As for this, if drinking alcohol helps you sleep. Only use it for sleep. There are so many other ways to entertain yourself with your girlfriend without alcohol. If you give up alcohol for recreational use I think it will impact your relationship in the best way possible. Have a drink or two before sleep. But thats all. Get into a good schedule with your girlfriend and communicate with her. Sit her down and tell her how you feel about her while you're completely sober. Tell her your plans for your relationship and tell her how much you want the relationship to work out. If you truly do love your girlfriend, which I know you do. Take away the only thing that's preventing you from creating that strong emotional bond with her again.

OP HERE

I am wondering if showing her this thread could be a good thing

>>18642207
do it and then post how it goes

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>>18641939
some bitches deserve a good slap every now and then

and some women act up on purpose because deep down inside they want to be put in their place

if shes abusive towards you, call it quits. no point in being with someone who hurts you

>>18641939
Turn yourself to the police. Say what you did and that you think you deserve to be punished.

>>18641939
dump her NOW and find annew gf who isnt a piece of shit
done
drops mic

It's fine, man. A slap isn't that bad of a thing, it's literally just a gesture of knocking sense into somebody.

I've been slapped by women quite a few times, and it's never made me feel, "unsafe" around them. I know why they did it, and I can understand to some degree, but honestly I don't just sit there and stand for it either. It's a poor way of solving problems.

>>18642039
So is she really fed up with your drinking? That slap in the face might make her seriously think about leaving you. All you can do is apologize, what happens next is up to her.

>>18642564
>some bitches deserve a good slap
>no point being with someone who hurts you
uhhhhhhhhhhh

>>18641978

>I don't know if I could be with my boyfriend if he ever physically hurt me intentionally

Women always say this mental midget shit. Woman basher here, I hit my ex back the third time she hit me. Now I'm the bad guy?

Fuck your gender. I hope you have an awful life.

good job OP
dont let a bitch shittalk you 24/7

sometimes they dont know where to cut it, they think being a WOMAN makes them right always, invulnerable and so fucking smart they should run for a nobel prize

beating up is a nono, slapping a bitch once when she cant fucking shut up ever is ok

>>18643341
>I hit my ex back the third time she hit me

Why the fuck didn't you dump her ass the first time she hit you? Doesn't really sound like you have the high ground to call anyone a mental midget.

>>18643351

I was a mental midget back then. Now I'm enlightened.

https://youtu.be/oo0d1zTAFKA

/Thread

>>18641939
You're such a little bitch, I didn't even finish reading. Fuck off, mangina.

Leave her, it is over. Unless you are grooming her to be fine with physical abuse. Then by all means proceed. And I suspect that this is closer to the truth. I have seen it, not a lot, but enough to know the normal pattern.

The first hit is always a bit awkward. They are like a dog, or a rabbit, their instinct is to run. If you do your part you can talk her down from just simply bolting. This also establishes the transaction. Yes she gets beat, but then you are full of love, and maybe gifts, and she can ask you to do something that you wouldnt have wanted to do before.

The next beat will be telling as well. Not as critical as the first, but be careful. Make sure it is punishment for something she did and knows she was in the wrong, and basically play if off like you had no choice but to beat her.

Godspeed woman beater!

Firstly, it's never okay to just hit someone like that. However, it's a FUCKING SLAP. You were drunk, you made a mistake. Her first reaction was to tell EVERYONE about it. Because she's a woman, everyone now thinks that you're literally hitler.

I would not grovel. Plainly state that you are sorry you did it, but don't turn into a whimpering mess over it. Acknowledge it happened and try and move past it like a man. If she's going to make your life miserable over it then get out. She sounds a bit controlling and mentally abusive from what you've said, although I might be wrong.

Women wanted equality, so this is what it affords them:
Bitch talks shit about you, gets hit.
Bitch hits you, gets hit.

It's that simple.

>>18642124
Judging from your story it's no wonder his friends hate you

>>18642124
You're a cunt playing the victim card. You honestly expect anyone to feel sympathetic towards you? Your bf shouldn't have taken you back.