I'm starting to wonder if sex is for me. I'm cynical.

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I'm starting to wonder if sex is for me. I'm cynical. I'm broke, for now. I've dumped every girlfriend in the past, due to frustration with their personality. I don't prefer being alone, but I don't like most people. I ejaculate pretty early. I long for a level of mutual love and commitment (even if it's an open relationship) that seems strange and impossible to others, outside of literally all the stupid fiction they indulge in.

Some people think, "Well what about the American dream of having two children, owning a house with a picket fence, and fucking at least every other night?" I think that's just something invented by companies to sell us things we don't need, and that marriage throughout all of history has mostly involved tolerating your partner for the sake of successful reproduction, and not being lonely.

So, sex is just becoming a bodily function thing for me, right with eating and shitting, hopefully not all at the same time. Is this how 'asexuals' feel? Don't get me wrong, I'd like to get "the succ" or whatever kids are calling it these days, but it doesn't seem worth tolerating another person. If people were simpler, it would definitely be worth it, but instead, we always find some way to get on each other's nerves in these kinds of relationships built on sex.

I used to think that sex was some magical thing, particularly during puberty, but now I look at it with a lot of disdain. Anyone here have a similar experience? It's not good to talk about these kinds of things outside in person, since people get offended and can't handle it, but I'm sure someone here feels the same way.