Thread replies: 22
Thread images: 3
Thread images: 3
File: large (1).jpg (147KB, 467x700px) Image search:
[Google]
147KB, 467x700px
Background: I'm 25, boyfriend is 19. Haven't been together very long, just under 2 years. We are in an LDR and see each other for several weeks at a time so far 3 - 4 times a year.
Problem: it wasn't a problem at first but it started getting to me--he can't seem to do anything on his own or figure out how to do it. He doesn't know how to cook which is understandable but he got really upset over not knowing how to mix. With a spoon. I thought he was joking but he was serious and so I showed him and he just started poking at it and not stirring/mixing. It was kind of embarrassing. He will ask me how to do things like that that you should just know how to do or at least be able to figure out. Over this time I've found out he doesn't know how to dry himself after a shower, doesn't know how to clip nails, doesn't know how to eat hot foods/liquids, and has an intense fear of driving even though he's never been in an accident and if he ever drives he will have a panic attack and I'll have to drive instead. The last one seems to be a serious problem but normally it is very small things that you should know how to do or be able to learn very quickly. He never seems to be able to do it twice even after showing him.
Now it's starting to make me very annoyed and angry and I'm feeling like a jerk. What would you do in this situation, be extremely patient and teach him repeatedly how to do simple things? I'm not very patient so it's hard to show him, for example, how to sip tea over and over. I've talked about this with him and his reply is "I don't know why I'm like this." I ask him to explain more but he just says he can't.
At first I thought it was because he was younger but I'm like... I wasn't like this when I was 19 and honestly have never known anyone this helpless besides actual children.
Any advice, insight as to why he would be acting this way, or just sharing your own experience is appreciated!
>>
The car thing seems like an anxiety issue, but the basic stuff sounds like a learning disability. Or maybe he just had a really weird childhood.
>>
>>
Why are you dating a teenager?
>>
>>18641355
Not really an issue
>>
>>18641174
Ask him about it
Maybe he's a super genius autist like Paul Dirac and had a very abusive father who made him study 12 hours a day and never let him do anything else
>>
How in the world did you two meet? Do you have some kind of mommy fetish?
>>
>>18641174
Maybe you should stop literally dating children, weird ass Mommy-complex bitch.
>>
Would it be weird to date a 19 yo guy when I'm 24 myself and he is both smarter and more mature than me sometimes?
>>
>>18641396
Not really, it's open-minded since the average woman would have written him off because of his age.
>>
>>18641392
Why so mad?
>>
>>18641174
Kek, at least he isn't suffering from DCD
>>
>>18641392
It's not literally dating children because he's literally an adult and was literally an adult when we started dating.
>>
>>18641392
Also don't know why you assume I'm a girl. There are no girls on 4chan
>>
>>18641174
The things you list are all skills. They have nothing to do with intelligence or maturity, they are just things you either learned to do or never learned to do. When you learn to do them you are clumsy at first and gradually get better.
You are dealing with a boy who is not only 6 years younger than you but untrained in some of the basic skills of independent adult living. You can waste time blaming his parents, but you can't really blame him. (Would you blame him for not knowing Chinese if he was never taught it?)
>>
>>18642715
Semantics. An 18/19 year old and someone who's 50 are both adults technically but you can guess which is likely to be more. Him being legally an adult only helps you avoid jail, the actual relationship will be that of an adult and child, teenager if we be generous.
This is the crux of the issue. Now he seems to be an extreme case even for a child and has probably been babied by his mom/family. Not really much you can do about that other thabln force him to learn.
>>
>>18641174
he is at least partly retarded and you should leave him
>>
>>18643055
Are you serious? I lived with my mom and she did everything for me (it's not like I asked her or anything).
I couldn't cook or do anything that has to do with keeping home great, but if it's about the most simplest things it really comes down to intelligence.
I just tried to use my logic and voilà, I knew how to do simple cooking? What OP said sounds more like he doesn't even try for some other psychological reason.
Also you have the internet where you can google basic shit.
>>
>>18644274
Yeah it's only a 6 year difference not a ~30 year difference. The older we get the less of an emotional difference it will be. Someone 30 years older will never be able to emotionally connect to their partner
>>
>>18644351
Sure but at the moment those 6 years are huge and will remain so for a good while.
>>
>>18643055
Get the fuck outta here, senpai. I knew how to mix shit in a bowl with a goddamn spoon before I was older enough to stay home by myself. I just observed and switched it up until I found a rythmn and consistency that felt and looked right.
There is 100% something wrong with op's boyfriend, I suspect that he may be LITERALLY, ACTUALLY autistic.
>>
File: 1467992662469.jpg (100KB, 600x600px) Image search:
[Google]
100KB, 600x600px
it is unusual and you sound like you want to leave him so just leave.
Thread posts: 22
Thread images: 3
Thread images: 3