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What do I do when somebody in my social circle is holding a grudge on me and is spreading rumors about me?
Basically
>he was making fun of me in front of other people implying I was a coward
>making the implication that I would not show up to a planned event
>this pissed me off
>asked him to stop nicely because I didn't want to get into a shit flinging fight with him
>he declined
>learned of an insecurity that would really piss him off if I irritated it
>had a bunch of people do it
>he got more pissed than I could have imagined
>told him I'm sorry but don't try to publicly ridicule me anymore when I ask nicely to stop
>he said "fine, just don't do that to me"
>meet him at pre-planned thing
>hes super friendly and chummy
>later find out hes talking shit about me
>passive aggressively comments on all my stuff online
This would not be a problem if this person wasn't both older than me and more popular than me in a social circle we share (we are both adults), so what should I do?
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Also
>he denies still being mad at me
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>>18640769
Take a serious look at what belonging to this social circle does for you. If this guy is one of its prominent members then the social circle isn't one you should want to belong. The only way this guy will stop is when someone else starts hovering around and he directs his aggression towards them. The actual cowards are all those in the social group that are permissive of this guys behavior.
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>>18640797
>Take a serious look at what belonging to this social circle does for you
its given me a lot of very good things but this drama is ridiculous
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>>18640808
Then you have to decide if the upside is worth the drama because this guy won't stop and nothing you can do to make it end and you won't get real help from others in the group, they are ok with things this way. Perhaps this group has outlived its usefulness for you and time to find another better suited for the person you are now.
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Show his attitude doesn't bother you and just completely ignore him. Distance yourself from any gossip like that. People notice people who don't get involved with idiots like that.
Also look at how your friends are reacting to this gossip. If they are good frieds, they wont like this guy and he will be alienating himself. Otherwise, I would look at the group in its whole and ask yourself what these people actually think about you.
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>>18640769
Yeah man. Some people suck. And thats about all their is to it.
You were petty for the revenge rumour and it backfired. As you said he has more social power than you and you released a bull in the china shop that is your social life.
I promise you his shit talking behaviour will blow up in his face and he will be his own ruin. Its also a good sign hes already struggling with some deeper issues that he needs to get affirmation by shit talking others. Take that to bed with you and sleep easy.
But the reality is if he does that hes a shitty friend, and if your friend group tolerates that behaviour and even buys it, theyre a shitty group. Move on.
Side note: fighting back as you did is seen as losing face. It wont do much for others' opinion of you. Be the bigger man.
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