Thread replies: 5
Thread images: 2
Thread images: 2
Hey /adv/ I need you to share some experiences, so I can find out if I have made the worst decision in my life. This is will be quiet some text and I will be really thankful for any advice.
I had my first girlfriend for the last 4 years and last November I finally broke up. I did this several times before. First time after 2 years, and a second time after 3 years. She always took me back.
Yes, yes, I know: "Your are an idiot for breaking up several times, and she did wrong in taking you back. Bla bla bla..."
It is a bit more complex, since we both have a weird story to tell.
>she had an abusive boyfriend who beat her before we got together
>she admired me way too much, putting me on a pedestal all the time
>she is intelligent, but only in a social way (she is bad at maths and physics, but can give some really good advice on life)
>she is overweight, and super self conscious
>when we got together I was overweight too, had acne and bad looks (typical basement dweller)
>told her:"All I wanted was someone to love me unconditionally. Someone I can be strong with, so we can both overcome any problem.
>she told me how much she loved me everyday, and made clear: "it is you and noone else with whom I want to have kids and grow old together"
>she adapted my hobbies: gaming, IT, anime etc
>she pushed my ego to the maximum, and soon I began to do sports and started to eat healthier
>always wanted her to join in and said "lets do it together and improve"
>she never did, or when she did, she quit after one or two weeks
>I got fit, active and actually some sort of attractive for the first time in my life
>I started to love sports, traveling, and exploring new stuff
>she admires me even more now
>I more and more got annoyed by her lethargic lifestyle
>she watches stupid sitcoms, stupid youtube make-up videos, and got really active on facebook and instagram, fully immersing into this social media shit
>she goes to bed at 9 pm and is tired all day, everyday
>>
>>18640741
cont.
So, now my actual question:
To what extend do you guys, who have had long term relationships, accept and get along with the habtis and quirks of your girl- or boyfriends?
Is this some stuff one can deal with? Am I an idiot for always breaking up?
Will I be able to find real, genuine loyalty and life-long unconditional love with some girl who loves me, is interested in me, is not lethargic, loves sports, but also loves gaming, likes traveling, but also wants kids some day, etc etc etc. Are my standards too high?
I am also stuck in the mindset, that a pretty, active and fun girl won't be loyal. I will get cheated on by such a person, because they don't know true loyalty.
I really can't fucking tell because I never ever had another girlfriend!
Please help me. Sorry for the long read!
PS: She still wants me back, but she is super sceptical because of the last 2 times I broke up.
>>
>>18640741
>pic related is pretty much how she looks btw
>>18640746
>pic related is what I admire now
>>
>>18640746
I've been in a long term relationship and we're a little similar in the sense that my bf and I were both overweight and we did lose it. I lost it first, then he lost weight too. I took some of his interests, but he took some of mine too.
I have adapted to his quirks and he has mine too, and overall we are working just fine. We have had doubts a few years ago, and talked about breaking up, but instead we fixed it. Been together 7 years, that talk was about 4 years ago.
However when I read your post it really seems like you are heading in different directions. The whole not taking care of herself and you are seems to be the big red flag here. That doesn't seem to be her quirk, but it seems to be some kind of motivation she is lacking. If you find that you want better, go look for better. Being wishy washy is worse than staying together. It will hurt her, but maybe it's a catalyst you both need.
>>
>>18640847
>I've been in a long term relationship
Are you two still together?
>The whole not taking care of herself and you
It's not really like this: she is interested in me, and always listens to my shit, but she simply won't change. She has no interest in traveling, changing, and is generally really whiny, and difficult. There is so little positivity in most things she says.
>Being wishy washy is worse than staying together.
This is probably true, but I'm afraid I will die alone because I'm too picky.
Thread posts: 5
Thread images: 2
Thread images: 2