I'm afraid to ask my mother to research aspergers so she

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>>18640543
So what is the problem here exactly?

You think you might have aspies but you can't ask your mother to get you tested because then she might think you might have it...?

>I'm still scared that there might be this hidden affliction that I cant get away from.
Then you suffer either way but having a test might get you some help too.

Where is your father in this scenario?

>>18640577

I have never met him

>>18640569

My relationship with my mother is strained and by extension my entire family, ive got the feeling they think im a cold person but no one ever is straightforward with me about their thoughts on my behavior. There is a huge amount of long pauses and frowned faces between me and my family and I dont know if them discussing aspergers is going to make them interact with me better or worse.

I think it's better not to know, and to accept yourself for who you are.

I always wanted to know why I was so "off", but once I found out it was crushing. I had to accept I was who I was and no amount of medication was going to make me "normal". I'm just me, just like you're just you.

>>18640543

getting diagnosed will only do one thing: cause you to sink deeper into the hole you've been digging. by getting diagnosed you excuse your self for the things you've done wrong and insist you don't need to get them right. if you had legit autism a teacher would have pushed to have you tested already. theydid not. so whatever you have is so minor that you can survive in society just fine without a diagnosis.

Do you think you have aspergers? Have you tried diagnosing yourself with it.
It seems after a quick look up that being a bit awkwardly introverted is quite far away from a social interaction disorder.

>>18640629
>>18640625

My family make me feel a high amount of anxiety, i feel like a very bad person when i am around them so i hide away from them and it just makes the situation worse

Im back visiting them now for 5 days, its only been one day and my mood has dropped to constant feelings of guilt and anxiety. It feels like the scale is going to switch over and the bad feeling of being diagnosed wont be as bad as my families judgement

>>18640642
What i also forgot to mention is that you should ask yourself whether you are really concerned or if it is just edging around. I guess we all get to ask ourselves whether we are a bit mentally retarded at somepoint.

The usual answer is no after all. You should be quite fine just going on.
Some minor traits are quite different from a disorder after all

>>18640649

>yes, i am trying to get a diagnosis to excuse my self from reality

like i said, not worth your time. face your faimly issues. i had the same problem you did, facing my family seemed so anxiety ridden that I legit cancelled the night before last time i was supposed to visit. i sat down and started working through my family issues and why i felt this way. I went through my history and realized things i thought were in the past were not just 'in the past'. i had a lot of family trauma i needed to deal with.

>>18640642

I think about being just an awkward introvert when im at university but i have zero close friends, when im with my family i feel like a black sheep

I think you should get tested. If you have problems that confuse or scare you, one of the best feelings is being able to put a name to it and understand. Understanding what's going on is soooo much better than being in the dark. Because once you know what's going on up there, you can work on living and coping. And I don't know your family, but maybe getting tested will bring more understanding.

>>18640660
Having no close friends should be quite allright.

Your family seems to be ... not very kind. May as well held you back so much in your childhood that you kind of gave up trying to get friends.

>>18640658

Well, my aunt told me that I sometimes act like im superior to others. It's a case of "if everyone you speak to has a problem then you are the problem" with me. I told her that If I thought I was superior to her or other people in my family then I wouldn't bother visiting them and I wouldn't feel so bad about making them feel awkward.

>>18640543
Research it yourself

>>18640686

that didn't address anything I said. maybe you do have autism.

seriously though.

>>18640722

Well there are no issues in my family, the issue is me and how i don't feel like I get along with any of them.

>>18640730

did you used to be different? cuz otherwise it sounds like you are just being your natural self nad people arent accepting you. if people have a problem with who you are and your struggles, then why should you care about their feelings? sounds like a lot of them dont care about yours and write you off as a problem for not being 'basic'