Got a coworker who is in an arranged marriage, stopped wearing

If she's had an arranged marriage, she'd never leave him for you. You might get a bit of side action, but she'll feel guilty very quickly and you have no chance of a future with her.

>I'm fucking lost and sick of crying myself to sleep over this
Seems fairly standard for falling for someone who isn't with you, so you shouldn't consider yourself a freak.

That said, falling for someone is simple, even if it rarely happens to you, so you won't be lost forever if you get over her. You should try to get over her, because if you meddle you most likely will just start more shit. Even if you think you have a chance of getting with her, there's necessarily going to be a year ahead of you where things just get more pressured and stressful, and if you go through all that and things end up not working out in the *ideal* way, you'll just be more heartbroken than if you tried to move on now, and she may be worse off for it too

>>18639075
She doesn't seem guilty getting in my arms and so on. Do those kinds of marriages ever end in divorce? She's from Nepal and apparently the divorce rate has like tripled over them. Am I being used?

>>18639084
Valid point anon. It's not like I'd embargo my love life just for her but as a long term goal, I'd like a chance some day. Never liked someone as much as I like her but maybe I can't see the forest through the trees

>>18639085
>Do those kinds of marriages ever end in divorce?
Depends on the people. There's a lot of societal pressure to stay together, so lots of people generally stay in a miserable relationship rather than face the shame of a divorce.

>apparently the divorce rate has like tripled over them
That means absolutely nothing unless you know what you started with. A 1% divorce rate tripling still only brings it up to 3%; don't count on that meaning anything for your situation.

>>18639091
She's in America now, family is back in Nepal, so wouldn't it be easier to just cut the cord? I have no idea how that culture works buy Nepalese guy I work with and ask about this says divorce is a pretty big thing over there these days, claims less young people are down with arranged stuff for the long term.

>>18639097
>She's in America now, family is back in Nepal, so wouldn't it be easier to just cut the cord?
It could be even more difficult in her situation. If all her family is in another country, then she could be disowned and isolated in America if she divorces.

>I have no idea how that culture works buy Nepalese guy I work with and ask about this says divorce is a pretty big thing over there these days, claims less young people are down with arranged stuff for the long term.
A quick Google search told me that the divorce rate was 2% in 2010. That's still nothing compared to Western countries.

In the end, this is a bunch of 'what ifs' anyway. She's married and you need to accept that you can't be with her because of this. No amount of wishful thinking is going to change anything. Stop putting her on a pedestal and fantasising about what it's like to be with her, because nothing good is going to come of it. Stop being a fucking moron.

>>18639110
Ouch. Reading that divorce rate there just crushed me a bit, but that's probably what I needed. Looks like I'll just have to sit this one out when it comes to her, doesn't look like I'll ever get a chance. Fair enough. But what's with the no ring? Isn't that a pretty bad sign anyway?

>>18639179
I don't know, maybe she doesn't like it, she doesn't like wearing something so expensive on a daily basis or it gets in the way of her doing stuff. Stop reading so much into every little thing.

>>18639196
But its a junk ring. It's literally just a little band. If you were married and your ring broke, would you really wait over 2 months to still not get it fixed or replaced?

>>18639209
If it's a junk ring then I'd be even less likely to repair or replace it. Shit happens to my costume jewellery all the time, I'm not going to sit and cry over it if I lose a ring or a necklace breaks.

>>18639209
Not that guy, but whether you're right or not (you may very well be right), the fact that you're reading into stuff like that means you're very invested in her, and you being so invested and her being in a conflicted, transitional period unfortunately is a bad basis for a relationship. Trust me, I've been there. It's important for people to be approaching things from the same angle and have the same amount invested in a relationship, even more than compatibility or feelings.

>>18639212
I think I'm on to something on the ring m8. Not that it does me any good bit that's fishier than an aquarium. But unfortunately I'm very invested in her. I honestly don't think that marriage is in a good spot, whether there's a chance of divorce or not. But you're right, about the same angle thing.
>>18639211
I think a wedding ring carries a bit more weight than costume jewelry. Especially considering what it means to not be wearing one if you're married.

>>18639220
>I think a wedding ring carries a bit more weight than costume jewelry. Especially considering what it means to not be wearing one if you're married.
If it was that important to her, she wouldn't have a junk ring.

>>18639225
Since when did women buy their own rings?

>>18639228
Women often pick out their own rings, that's pretty much the same thing. What does that have to do with anything anyway?

>>18639231
I guess it doesn't matter because whether she's not wearing hers for a reason or it's actually broken, there's still some dude wearing his. If you had to guess, would you say I'm being used here or does she actually care because unfulfilling marriage?