I guess I'll start from the beginning. I've known this

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I guess I'll start from the beginning. I've known this girl since freshman year, and I always kinda thought about dating her. As I grew older, we started to see each other more and became friends. When I was nearing the end of my junior year, she was near the end of her senior year. She and I went to prom together, and I regret not kissing her that night because I had feelings for her back then even. So we kept talking as friends until the summer, and until the start of July. We kissed, and started dating. We just recently broke up a few weeks ago, so we were only together a month. She didn't want a distance relationship (which wouldn't have been hard, just a 4 hour drive and I could've done that easily), so I figured out she just didn't have the same feelings as me. Then, a few days ago, I learned she was one of the girls that has feelings for a few guys at once. She liked another fucking guy the whole time we dated, and made me feel special even though I wasn't. I talked to her best friend about it, and apparently she really did care about me and a lot of the times what we had was real. But here's the thing; I feel like I should hate her for all the pain she put me through. I feel like I should hate her because she and I would spend hours making out (who can blame me for loving this girl as much as I did when we'd spend practically every day we could together) and she obviously didn't care about that. I feel like I should hate her because sometimes I dream about being with her again all night long, and I wake up hitting myself until I get bruises and cry for 30 minutes. And I tried to hate her; yesterday I cut her off from everything to try and get her off my mind. And then today came, and I tried to hate her again. I lifted with the anger and it felt good. as the day went on I felt worse and tried to talk to her again. I feel like shit. I know it'll get better with time, but how do I cope with it and feel a little better now? What should I fucking do? Pic related