What am I feeling? It's not like I want to kill myself.

regular depression my man

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It's called depression and most people go through that at some point and almost always get over it

Don't get me wrong, I'm not underestimating depression, it's one of the worst things you can feel, but the killing potential is very low, you will probably get over it

You might be failing now, but imagine if someone else - say, a friend - was failing too, what would you tell them? "Wew lad you shouldn't even exist what a miserable failure"? No, you'd probably tell them "everyone commits some mistakes every now and then, but it's still not too late, you can still do it". So tell that to yourself. Improve yourself and pay off their efforts if you want that so badly. Accept your flaws instead of blaming yourself for them.

>>18637666

Don't get me wrong, "just do it" is a great short. But if I was capable of it, don't you think I'd have done so already?

I'm 29 and haven't finished my studies, working a senseless unrelated sidejob that does not earn enough money to support myself. I'm living off other people and I doubt that after I finish my studies, I'll find something I can do enough to actually re-earn what was spent on me.

Don't you think at some point you should cut costs for your family and people arround you and admit that "you win some, you lose some" also applies to people?

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>>18637671
Stop seeing yourself as an investment. Your family invests in you because you are family. There is something strong tying you all together, something stronger than just profit or long-term investment. A family is a bastion of loyalty external to the State. It is what allowed private property of land to exist. It is a beautiful, sacred and holy institution that has existed for millenniums and you think that your failure is enough to destroy it? They are not doing it for profit, they are doing it because they want YOU to succeed.

>>18637694

I can try. But are you sure you are right? Doesn't the whole idea of family come from the "they'll care for me when I'm old" kind of idea? Some form of legacy and retirement benefits?

I mean, I understand your rather romantic notion of family, but I can't say I find it all that... realistic. Sorry, I don't wish to offend you.

>>18637734
Aren't you feeling this urge of helping them? That's what they feel for you, it's completely unrelated to money. Use that feel to actually improve yourself and become able to help them when they need it later on.

And it's not a romantic notion, it's a rational notion. Ever since the beginning of times families were the institution that allowed private property to exist. Children were not responsibility of everyone anymore, they were responsibility of the family. Families are collections of natural elites. Your parents are natural elites to you, and you will be a natural elite to your children. Families are bastions of loyalty that make the government shiver since they are the only realistic threat to it. Families are acknowledged and blessed in the Bible. You're part of something much greater than you think and it's not going to fall apart just because you're taking a few more years than usual to get a fucking well paying job

http://www.libertarian.co.uk/lapubs/histn/histn048.htm

>>18637762

Thank you for the link and the thoughts.

I'll read and ponder for a bit. Again, thanks.