My BF is extroverted, and I am introverted. He basically has

>>18636186

Tell him what you said in the second and third paragraphs.

You get energy by being alone - he gets energy by being with people.

If he isn't willing to talk about it, empathize, and work toward understanding, move on.

>>18636186
You did an ok job of explaining how you feel here
Why not tell him exactly this?

>>18636196
He needs to pick up on her mood and figure out what she said verbatim on his own or he's not intellectually worthy enough to keep her. She's going to continue playing games with him and leave him because he's the stupid bitch who's overwhelming her.

>>18636217
He doesn't need to read her mind, she needs to use her mouth sounds.

Are you me? This is exactly the way my boyfriend and I are. He’ll understand once you explain yourself. If he’s being pushy, he might pout a little once you say you’re feeling overwhelmed but in the end he’ll understand. Don’t try to change yourself for him or let him get away with over stepping your boundaries because then you’ll look worse when you finally get sick of feeling crowded and start a big argument. So it’s better to be upfront and let him down gently now when he offers to hang out or spend an excessive amount of time together when you’d much rather be alone.

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>>18636194
>>18636196
He really is a great guy so I'm sure he'd be willing to communicate and willing to understand. It's a relief to just know I'm not being unreasonable. Sometimes my need for space makes me feel like I'm cold, or not as good a romantic partner. But I just need space to long for someone. I've been through a lot and to survive a lot of times I go into this mode where I just am whatever anybody wants from me... But it's like not existing, and I don't want that part of me to be the part he falls in love with.

>>18636224
That's good to know, that that type of interaction wouldn't hurt him or end up killing the relationship. I would be okay having a dynamic like that. I think you're right as far as not letting him overstep until I break down.

>>18636217
>>18636222
I'm not attempting to play games at all. I made the thread because I want to do the opposite of games- I want to be able to communicate a need for space in the most considerate way possible.


Thank you for your words everyone, I don't need too many replies but I guess I also want to ask any older introverts- Does being around romantic partners get easier? Do you get comfortable with someone 'being in your space'?

>>18636240

You get more comfortable not feeling awkward and asserting yourself, which reduces your tension / cognitive dissonance etc.

You may grow as a person and "get over" what makes you, you to a certain extent. But the former, based on the courage to communicate, is the greater part of "it can get easier" by far.

Nerd analogy - Batman is an introvert. Batman also doesn't take any shit.

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>>18636251
That's a relief. I'll have an honest talk with him this weekend. Obviously I'm going to have to learn how to say no in life in general so now is always a good time to start. I'll sage from here on out, thanks again for advice.

>>18636240
>Does being around romantic partners get easier? Do you get comfortable with someone 'being in your space'?

Yes, absolutely. My anxiety used to be so aggressive my body would shake when I was around people, and I couldn't look anyone in the eye. My girlfriend is the opposite but she's really helped me grow.

It can be scary meeting new people but when you find someone wonderful who wants to take the time to understand you,you gradually become more comfortable around that person as the distance between you lessens.

For introverts being around people can be emotionally exhausting, and they need to recoup their energy somewhere they feel comfortable. That's how I explained it.