Why does obsession over the opposite sex usually kick in when

Y'know if you're trying to have some existential blundering, this board is the last place to ask.

Fuck, it's even a terrible place to come to for advice at this point.

Because it's an escapist fantasy. I'm struggling to make myself more dateable and I keep finding that I get the strongest feelings from the most unrealistic scenarios. When I'm levelheaded and meet a girl I might work well with I'm usually indifferent. The worse my mental state the more emotionally desperate I get. I just need to learn to bond with people even when I feel no need to do so.

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not sure

>>18635845
Like there's this girl I hit it off with months ago and I've been obsessed with her since. I didn't take action, I just stewed in self loathing and now she doesn't seem interested when I message her. I've gotten over the pain and I'm debating to just tell her straight up that I wanna go out with her if only to just eliminate the possibility and set my mind at ease but idk, maybe I should just let it go

>>18635845
I only do well with women when I'm manic, because the impulsivity and overflowing energy is really attractive to women. I always sink back into a depression due in part to the stress of the relationship and drive them off though. It sucks.

>>18635970
Mein Brüder