I'm socially awkward but I make an effort to talk to girls

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I'm socially awkward but I make an effort to talk to girls and I try to be sexually active. The girls I talk to feel boring and dumb but I still try to fuck or get nudes regardless. A lot of the time when I'm drunk or high I get hit with a feeling of pointlessness and just shut down to people that I feel don't know me well. I think there's a part of me that doesn't want to fuck random people I don't have a personal connection with and that comes out more when I'm intoxicated.

When I talk to girls (especially when I've invited them over to try to fuck) I get pretty bad anxiety and focus excessively on goals in my head (sex, escape, making conversation). I'll laugh and make small talk but I can feel the un-genuine vibes I'm putting out. I feel like I'm not myself but then I'm awkward as hell around my male friends too, I try to be nice and amiable but I only put forth conversation material if I find myself unusually interested (something I lose the capacity to be when I'm anxious). I feel like it would take a woman with an unusual amount of patience to put up with me, so much so that I've only felt at ease and friendly with a couple women in my life and I tend to become overly obsessed with them and fixate on getting them to like me.

My friend lectured me saying that it's best to make friends with women first, fuck them and then cut them off afterwards. I think that would probably be more successful and be perceived as less weird but I don't think I have it in me. For me it takes a massive effort to build a bond of friendship and having sex as the main goal would make me feel guilty and manipulative, also pathetic if she rejected my advances in the end. I prefer one night stands because the manipulation is quick and the tension is resolved quickly whether she'll fuck you or not.

Sometimes I wonder if I'd be better of celibate but I find myself so restless and sad when I have no contact with the opposite sex, no matter how dysfunctional my interactions are.