I am happily married for 8 years, own a house, and am in a management

how do I girl

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>>18635331
Stop pretending to be something that you're not. You can only be what you are. That said, you can IMPROVE upon what you are. If you have long greasy hair, you can cut it and take showers more frequently. You cannot, however, change who you are fundamentally.

If you don't know any potential girlfriends irl, try online dating with match.com or eharmony. You might hook up on tindr, but it won't be anything substantial or long-term.

What's your endgame?

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>>18635343

You make it sound so easy

>>18635353
To be self-fulfilled. Truthfully, I'm a hedonistic asshole, but I'm a HAPPY hedonistic asshole.

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>>18635365
It's not easy, and it doesn't happen overnight. When I became fully self-aware, it took me years to get to a point where I could not only play people like a fiddle, but I no longer had my feelings hurt over cruel comments or anything like that. I can manipulate others to be what I need, but at the same time, I am not emotionally invested enough to feel any sort of pain should they end up disliking me.

It takes a constant mantra of "do your best, and if that's not good enough for some people, then fuck what they think and move on."

Once you're to this emotional state, it's easy to get what you want out of life. You eliminate the fear of failure and the fear of judgement from others, and there is literally nothing else holding you back.

>>18635365
Do you not know who you are or just think others won't accept/like you?

>>18635373
How you become like that? by reading books? travelling to Tibet? what?

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>>18635421
I don't, I was in the military but ever since I got out and am not around my friends anymore I just feel like Im occupying space, I drifted before I enlisted so I just ended crashing wherever my dad was living after wandering around for about 6 months after getting out.

Ive been going to church and thats about all the social interaction I get nowadays.

>>18635470
do you work? structured and productive work sorts all that shit out

>>18635373
Does hedonism actually fulfill people, or does purpose (which comes from being less self centered than a hedonist) fulfill people better? Cause the latter's what's been working for me.

>>18635474
I started college about a week ago, just going through the motions really, it really does distract and keeps me busy me, I dread the weekends though and wish I could just go to school every day

>>18635481
clubs at school are good. also, like common history and experience related stuff is good, even though people want to act like they're so unique and aren't defined by those things. So if there's an identity related or military related group/service you can join, that's good. Church seems like a good place to start, I imagine it could be mostly older people though, depending on where you live. You should get a job through school and related to your major too, it'll keep you around that community, keep you busier, and earn you some autonomy, er, money

>>18635494
>I imagine it could be mostly older people though

Actually, there's a boatload of young people in the one I'm going to, I just suck at conversation and talking to people I don't know

>>18635504
In what way? I feel like I'm pretty shitty at approaching people too, but I'm not a bad conversationalist when I actually get going. As far as the actual conversation part goes, you have to realize that small talk has somewhat different standards than many conversations. It's a BIT ritualistic, not necessarily making it superficial or like a litmus test though, just making it different. Try to be clever and concise, avoid being too goofy or too analytical and don't feel too much like you have to represent yourself and your personality, cause the situation really dictates how you should act. As far as approaching people goes... I don't really know how to very well, but at least know that people never mind, if you can think of a reason to approach them, and also know they don't mind if you don't approach them, so the pressure/embarrassment doesn't have to build up if you just hold back
Hope some of this can be useful/not obvious

>>18635532
Also, a relevant example: I know this guy who gets into the craziest shit even though he's super reserved and quiet, and it's mostly cause when other people are about to go off and do something that sounds interesting he asks if he can join. It's not necessarily a weird thing.

>>18635532
The only thing that I've been told (and it was a particularly direct female friend of a friend) is that I come off as incredibly insincere when I talk to someone, even in small talk. I've been trying to figure just what the fuck this even means

>>18635552
Oh HUH, well probably do the opposite of what I said then, cause I worry I sound a bit insincere sometimes too. Maybe if you focus more on meeting people with similar interests to you it'll BE more sincere in the first place, and you won't have that issue

>>18635569
Well you see there's the problem Anon, I'm pretty fucking autistic about my interests (guns and military history) and literally anything else bores the ever living shit out me. I've been trying to get into whats new in theaters but I can't get genuinely interested in it and I get pissed when ever I try to get into politics.

I actually got to talking to a girl for a while and I faked the funk for the first couple times we talked but I fucekd up and I'm pretty sure she wants nothing to do with me anymore

>>18635479
I want a purpose but can't find it. What's yours?