I recently got back into the dating scene....and I hate it. Every

All the dates you listed aren't original at all, though.

>>18633279
>What happened to picnics, watching the stars, going for a walk, something original.

It's funny because none of these are really that original but I like it, I hate going out into really busy areas too. I wish I knew irl cause you're perfect.

>>18633283
Op BTFO

>>18633284
I guess original is the wrong word...but materialistic, flashy dates turn me off....even going on a date learning to fish would be cool

>>18633283
They are for me considering literally no guy I meets wants to do that...

>>18633292
Well maybe you're looking for dudes in the wrong places? I mean, if you're into diving, then maybe register at a diving club so you can find dudes who share the same interests as you.

I'm like you, I prefer quieter dates where we get to do some activity together, but that's only cause I was brought up in a really white family who taught me to read on weekends instead of going out with friends.

>>18633279

1. If you don't like their suggestion, suggest something else. If they say no, don't go. If they say yes, all the better - they passed the first test.

2. The shit you suggested is substantially more intimate than most people are willing to go to on a first or second date. Most people are intimidated by being required to talk to somebody they don't know that well for that long, with no easy distraction.

3. Most places have free or cheap one-off cooking classes. You go, there's an instructor, you fuck around and cook something, you eat it, you're done. It's less invasive than cooking at someone's house while still being more genuine than coffee or a movie.

>>18633279
It'll never be good enough. Become asexual.

What usually happens for me is I take a new girl to all the places I really enjoy. I enjoy them because I've had good experiences there and I'm excited to experience the place with another person. I also know that it isn't going to completely suck and leave me hanging on a date, in effect she gets to experience the condensed edited experience of my life because I want to look good. Eventually I run out of 'fresh' (to her) ideas and I'm forced to start scraping the bottom of the barrel with radiant quest level shit like bike rides, kite flying, picnics in otherwise mundane parks etc. These aren't anything particularly special, just a chance to hang out and do something so I can do the whole 'demonstrate social value' shit which I'm apparently supposed to be doing.

What I'd say is in any new relationship, first date or second or whatever drop your expectations from prior relationships. Don't drop your expectations or values, hold on to them, but don't whine and lament because this new experience is not the old one because to do so just displays that you aren't over your old relationship and maybe not even ready for a new one. New relationships are about open minded and authentic opportunities to encounter new people and situations. I'd be very offended (which in reality would result in maybe hit and quit at best) if I picked up on the vibe that somebody was dishonest in their intentions and openness. Sure, hate on a boring restaurant, but don't hate on it because your ex did blah blah instead and you miss them/that.

>picnics
>something original.
Wat

Anyways the whole point of dating is getting to know the person. If I invited some gal out to my house when she barely knows me I'm pretty sure she'd get a bit skeeved out.

Why not try getting out of the dating scene? Others might enjoy boring date(s), but surely you'd prefer the anxiety that you are entirely without value, purpose and thus invisible to others? I know I'd never trade those nights home alone trying not to cry because if I ever break in such a pathetic way I promised to kill myself for something as lame as a boring restaurant or coffee shop!

>>18633279
>nobody is ever original anymore
>they only do expensive boring normal things instead of low budget boring normal things
>I romanticize the time spent with my ex doing boring normal things
>why does everyone only want to do boring normal things??? where is all the "originality" that somehow isn't really something I'm looking for???

This sounds like a you problem.

>>18633279
Why don't you suggest something then.

Oh right because that would entail work, and no matter how bad something it's still better than having to actually do any work yourself for a woman. Much easier to just hop from guy to guy collecting free meals and complaining that they aren't interesting enough for you.

>>18633279
Sounds like you're still hung up on the ex. I am too. But remember, before you got intimate with them, there was a period of boring old coffee dates where you just talked.

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>>18634338
/r9k/

You have to go back

>>18634389
Women really can't handle being called on their shit

>>18634389
Answer the question then.

Why don't you suggest something? Unless you can provide an answer of your own there's no reason not to assume mine is correct.

Then you suggest the date. I've been on picnics, walks, casual 1 drink dates. Just ask for what you want.

As a guy with interests and hobbies, I'd love to do everything OP mentioned (I had a picnic on top of an army tank in a park once) but on the first date I usually suggest something neutral. Like get coffee and go for a walk by the water, or something like that. Then once I get to know the person I spring the goofy stuff on her.

Maybe I'm fucking things up by not being goofy out of the gate, but I've never had a first date that didn't lead to a second so whatever.

>>18633279
The dating game has been pushed to a different way. Our world revolves so much around instant entertainment and gratification with one tap on a screen, and that has poisoned most social interactions.

Now with dating if you don't do something super entertaining and memorable you will never get a second date because women have their choice of men. You will lose out to the guys who can afford to take women out on entertaining dates. There is just no room for traditional dating anymore.

>>18634619
>I'm Elliot Rodgers

As a who actually has successfully dated women, that's bullshit. Just avoid metro party girls if you want a laid-back first date.

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>>18634392
You're vomiting that spiel on each and every woman. Including the one that probably hasn't indulged in what you're ranting about or tries to avoid it. S P E R G.

But yeah. There's no reason why OP can't take the wheel, or be open with the type of eclectic relationship she wants off the bat. If the dude's put off, then great, she can move on to the next.

>>18634664
That was my only post you dumbass whiteknighting will get you no where

>>18634338
boom

>>18633279
>I-I don't initiate anything, nor have a fucking mouth to speak for myself, fucking guys trying to impress me by taking me to posh restaurants and paying for my meal, it's all the patriarchy's fault!

t. 30 y.o. roastie

>>18633279
how about you tell him where you want to go...
you seem to have this idea of some guy who will sweep you off your feet and created this little fantasy of how it should be...

>>18633279
Hi OP, you sound wonderful. Please can I have you?

Picnics, watching the stars, going for a walk are all something you do with a person you are close to and comfortable with.

>>18633348 is right. It's pretty intimate stuff. Though romantic and making for great feelings it takes a lot of 'togetherness' to make it work.
Though I love those, my first electronic date is usually just like the manual says 'A brief meeting in a safe public place where either party can withdraw easily'. And I do it low key. No fancy restaurants,special events, no pressure. If we can't see a spark in a coffee shop we aren't going to see a spark in a white tablecloth restaurant.

And the follow up date, when there is a spark, is often a walk on the beachfront (Yes, I live by the sea) or a walk in the woods or a picnic or those simple things you suggest. ( Now and then we go straight from safe public coffee to a bedroom. Some sparks are bigger than others!)

>I wish I could go back to being with my ex and just cook together or chill and play video games...does nobody do original dates anymore?

Because women are whores that don't deserve better.

>>18633279
How about you fucking ask someone to those things for you?

>>18633279
Why not be the one to suggest? JFC..2017. WTF happened to equal rights?

>>18633279
I take to a cafe than venue change to a bar so I can cuddle up close

You will feel as though youve known me for longer time and also first dates not spending a lot well do tons of fun stuff after the first date but you gotta contribute too and that means give me your affection and physical stuffs

>>18633279
>What happened to picnics, watching the stars, going for a walk
Don't those fall under "boring?"

>>18633279
Why don't you suggest them then, since you're so great and not boring.

>>18633279
Welcome to midlife crisis. Yourself can't adapt to modern times.

>>18634858

This. Grow up.