Ok so here's the deal. Virgin 19, i'd like a gf. People

You don't have to share all the same interests with a significant other.

"Vain and bland" absolutely is a judgement. It's a very negative judgement.

You seem pretty negative in general ,my guy. Focus on things you like, try to be more positive. Instead of finding reasons why girls on dating sites are uninteresting, find reasons why they are interesting. Instead of focusing on what you don't have in common, focus on what you do.

It kind of sounds like you don't even like yourself so much. Stop calling yourself a pathetic loser and start thinking of yourself more positively, I promise it will help you to change your world view and be happier.

>>18632737
Yeah i knew i was being rude i didn't want to sound "superior" or anything but those words seemed to fit perfectly.

I literally can't find anything positive about them. Their interests are literally corny stuff like "dancing" and "good movies". Like, who the hell doesn't like Good movies? Are there girls into Bad movies? I don't think so.

Well i used to be more positive but you know after 20 years of complete loneliness, you start to ask yourself where the problem is since you can't just blame it on the whole world.

Actually talk to the girls you see as vain and bland, who knows maybe they might be interesting. Everyone likes to get drunk.

>>18632745
So ask them what actual movies they like, and have a discussion.

There absolutely are girls into bad movies. Do you not know anyone who likes The Room because of how bad it is?

You are 19,not 20. You weren't lonely as a very young child. And if nobody likes you, and you don't like anybody ,the problem is you. Figure out what your issues are and work on yourself, man.

>>18632758
I'm starting to think there's nothing to work on to begin with. What else should i do to "improve"?

>>18632760
Your opinion of yourself
Your outlook on the world
What you are unhappy with, why, and how to change it.

As for women

You're lonely, and you asked how to meet interesting women. But you've met women, you just don't find them interesting. First, think of who would be interesting to you and why. That seems like the bigger issue.

>>18632762
I'd be interested in someone with which i could actually discuss about stuff. Obviously trust, feelings, intimacy etc... are important, but a relationship is based on everyday talk and activities as well, or it might be stale.

>>18632772
You can have discussions with various people about various things.

That's why I mentioned your judgement of finding women "vain and bland" and their interests corny is such a big issue.

You seem to think there is someone who will like exactly what you like and want to talk about exactly the same things you do. Most relationships aren't like that. Learn to find something interesting in a subject you don't. Learn to find interesting things about people you assume aren't.

>>18632787
That doesn't make any sense, there IS a reason if i'm not interested in something, and that's cause i'm not interested. Is asking for someone with something in common with me too much? What the hell

My input to this is that I too was in the same boat as you. I found a girl last year and now I have lost majority of friends/people I talked to. I now see more problems in myself then I did last year.

I suggest getting to cope and love who you are as a person. If you try to force yourself into you aren't prepared mentally and emotionally for you can find yourself more isolated then before.

Learn more about yourself and find a way to be proud of everything about yourself. Can't regret yourself or your actions. That kind of positivity will attract people around you and you could find someone. Could be a person who needs help with themselves. That kind of person will love you till the end when they see you putting all your effort into them and in return they put everything into you.

>>18632800
Just because you aren't interested at first glance doesn't mean there isn't something within the topic that might be interesting.

I don't like dancing. But I do like fighting. Capoiera is dance fighting, so that's kinda cool.

Next time you talk to someone into something you aren't into ,ask them what they like about it. Try to actually learn some shit instead of dismissing it immediately, which is clearly how you have handled topics and people in the past.

>is asking for someone with something in common with me too much?

The way you are doing it yeah, it clearly is. That's why you are lonely. Earlier your disregarded women who say they like good movies because everybody likes good movies. Doesn't that mean you share common ground in movie liking?

Make an effort.

>>18632815
Well i guess i share eating, hydratating myself and breathing with most females as well.

Maybe i should just give up. I'm starting to think it was do or die, you either develop social abilities while young or end up a wizard. I'm kinda sure the good will and the advices you and >>18632814
just gave me from your experienced viewpoint, i'm unable to receive. It's probably all over. I'll stroll down through life until i either find a girl by pure chance or die. Guess i'm just not that lucky.

You can ignore the whole third part of what I said that's fine. But it is you who is setting yourself apart from others. The other person is right on alot of what they are saying

Id have to agree with what everyone else has been saying so far. Your own pessimistic/cynical worldview is what you should change first. Its not a bad thing to see all the shitty stuff that COULD happen but if you let that blind you, you'll turn nihilistic fast. A few steps after nihilism and just look at the columbine letters to see what happens when people get shut out to the point that they shut themselves out. They knew exactly what they were doing and 'saying' with their actions.

I'm not saying your a psychopath and i can totally relate to not being able to connect with the people who frequent the places you mentioned. All i'm saying is to keep that attitude at an arms length from you. Close enough where you can detect danger but far enough to where your safe.

I dont think its "All Over". You're only 19! If you feel lonely, try getting yourself more involved with others through school (assuming you go to college). You'll be in the class all year, you might as well get to know them. And if not, you've got 60+ more years ahead of you find a girl. statistically, you'll be in so many obligatory social interactions that you're eventually bound to meet someone who you like.

I just don't want you to fall into nihilism. It's incredibly difficult to pull yourself out of there. If you're depressed about life in general, brush up on some pop-philosophy and read about the myth of sisyphus.

>>18632888
I did read Camus, but like Bukowski said, he writes like a man who had just finished off a large dinner of steak and french fries, salad, and had topped it with a bottle of good french wine. People like him feel so distant. And how do you create "dignity" exactly? Nothing comes from nothing. Sisyphus is not happy. Probably not sad either, but definitely not happy. And even if it were true, applying that is easier said than done.

>>18632918
>applying that is easier said than done

Good enough reason not to start and just remain unhappy, then.

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>>18632921
Better that than suffering even more, but with "hope" in my heart

>>18632933
But you will continue to suffer. How do you quantify which one is worse?

This entire thread exists because you ate unhappy, you are suffering.

It is true that 'we must IMAGINE him to be happy'. But i think that also depends on what you mean by happy. Happiness is usually only really felt when you attain something you've been going after for a long time. And it only lasts for a few minutes, days at most before you're left with a sense of emptiness again with only the question of 'Why am i not happy?'.

I think happiness itself can be very bad. You dont want to be happy all the time. The people who are are classified as manic and they're always happy and optimistic about everything. Every stock is an amazing stock to invest in! or, every lottery ticket will be the winner!

Just think of what parents do. Most of the time, when you're a kid, all they ever do is make you Unhappy. They (typically) don't enjoy this. I mean, what kind of person enjoys making others not happy? But its necessary because happiness makes you rash.

Most people grow up not be happy or sad but just fine. And im just fine being fine because in being fine, i can say that while every moment of my adult life is 'fine', the sum of my life is 'happy'.

Sorry, i know this is long winded but my point is Don't use happiness as something you necessarily want to attain.

Regarding your last point though, you cannot quantify which is worse. Thats the almost quasi-religious part of living as a whole. You have to put faith that it'll be worth it in the end. the only question is, how much shit are you willing to eat before you give up? I think for most cases, its more than you'd believe. And people are stronger thank you;d think. espescially when they seem like they're at their weakest.