A question for all the cynical people out there, have you given

>>18631696

You can't force anyone on you ...
Just be happy that you get a puss puss

You are for your self and no one will be there for you ... sorry to say that but it's life

Unless you get a true love

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>>18631696
24 year old virgin here.

I've accepted that I'm basically thanks to my shitty personality, shitty poorfag lifestyle, and other general quirks. Whoever said being yourself was the key to finding love has clearly never met me, because I'm basically incompatible with and unattractive to anyone I meet. Not a MGTOW fag or anything, but I've basically just given up on finding someone and resigned myself to a life of loneliness because I've proven time and time again that I'm incapable of changing. And to be honest, I like myself so I'm not even sure I'd want to. Any relationship formed that way would be founded on bullshit, and tear me up inside. My standards arn't even really that high, as a matter of fact they're lower than they've ever been after I made the confidence crushing mistake of trying online dating. At the end of the day I'd settle for any girl that "gets" me.

I don't even care about the sex part so much, if it was just a matter of losing my virginity I'd get a prostitute. In the borderline ghetto I live in it wouldn't be too hard.

I just don't want to be alone anymore, and meet a girl who understands and appreciates me. But like I said, that's probably never going to happen because there isn't a whole lot for the average person to like/appreciate about me. So instead, I embrace the abyss unless on the off chance I meet someone special. I'm done going out of my way trying though. All it's done has made me more depressed and miserable.

Sorry for venting.

>>18631696
Nah I haven't given up. I'm trying to be content and happy with myself, then I won't need others to be happy. Sure, breakups and such will still suck, but hopefully I won't be too worked up about it

>>18631740
From the other side of the pond I guess, I've met girls who have made me feel less lonely at the time, but in the end made me 10 times more miserable than I was before. I could talk for hours about how incomprehensible it is on how they treated me, treated someone they were supposed to love
So now I don't want to look for anyone else, because I'm too scared it will end poorly again, and I don't want to deal with that pain anymore

>>18631740
You act so defeated, you'll never change for the better like that. You should be yourself in that you shouldn't put on a facade for others, but you should still be the best you can be. In the time you spend moping about at home you could be lifting or reading and bettering yourself.

>>18631696
I think love is bullshit but there are absolutely several thousands of people that I would be compatible with and live a healthy life with in the long run.

There are also likely hundreds of thousands of women that I'd probably have great fun with for a certain amount of time but it would fall apart or be a painful experience to keep together long term.

I wouldn't give up just don't get your expectations up.

>>18631779
Yeah true, I think another problem I had was I would try to hard. Every chance I had, every time I met a girl, I saw it as an opportunity to meet a potential mate
I'm still grueling over my last relationship since it ended so abruptly and poorly, I felt like I wasn't done dating her and I feel like I'm gonna look back on it for a long time in kind of a "what could have been" situation

>>18631771
I spend my time moping by lifting and working and all that stuff. The problem is that I feel like I'm operating on a completely different plane of existence when it comes to interacting amd connecting with people. It's not a "I'm a special snowflake" kind of thing, in the "I'm a weirdo that people don't want to be around" thing. Couple that self diagnosed borderline autism with my countless quirks and severe anxiety issues and you've got a recipe for undesirable.

Purely psychological, and I'm self aware that the issue is me, but have continually failed to fix my personality despite past efforts.

Like I said, I've come to the conclusion that I'm happier just accepting it. Even if it is super depressing to say

I still hesitate to believe it, but I think I have found love.

I have never felt such a genuine connection with anyone. We make each other laugh when it comes to silly stuff and we have mind-expanding conversations on serious topics. We talk and talk and talk every day for hours and yet, somehow, we still haven't run out of things to say. The sex is out of this world. This person knows the most embarrassing things about me - stuff I have struggled to admit to myself - and somehow they love me all the more for it. It's surreal.

My instinct is to doubt, but for the first time in years, I'm willing to believe that this may actually be it. And even if it isn't, I'm still going to enjoy it for as long as I can.

In my opinion, "true love" and a relationship outside of societal pressure to procreate is a rare thing. You can MAKE that type of thing work to the best of your abilities, make the best in order to adhere to the norm. Just as you can absolutely HATE working for a living, so you make the trade of working part time/half the hours of most people in order to scrape by but enjoy life more, or you can be homeless and deal with that as the challenges are.

My point is... well I guess that's it. I personally look at it this way, as long as you have friendships that are worth your time, focus on those.
In the end, ideally, the only difference between a good friendship and a loving relationship is the romance/sex and kids/legacy.
You can find just as much enjoyment in this limited life by just doing the things you want to do, and to be honest, you are FAR more likely to attract someone, and find someone similarly minded, if you are living the life and doing the things you love doing, when that happiness shows to those around you.

I will never get into a relationship with someone who doesn't share a lifestyle mentality with me. Opposites can attract, sure, but only to some degree. A dog lover and hater aren't going to mix well. Someone who absolutely loves to play videogames isn't going to get along with someone who hates them and thinks them a waste of time.

For some of us, that pool of people who match perfectly with us can be extremely small.
But as I said, I am a personal believer in making yourself happy and... successful, internally, before you try to think too much about a love relationship. You aren't going to attract anyone worth a damn otherwise.

PS. Virgin till 31, lost it to a good friend from highschool years who left country and returned after 14 years. I distinguish greatly between sex and relationships. I don't think anyone is compatible day-to-day just because they like touching private parts, which I think is something that is crosswired for many.

>>18631827
I had all the same feelings with my ex, then shit treated me like shit at the end
The fact that someone can have such a strong connection and be so in love, and then like a flip of the switch just stop giving a shit and treat you poorly, it just doesn't make sense to me
Hope it goes differently for you

>>18631696
>have you given up on love?
I've given up before I've started :^)

>>18631848
I'm sorry it happened to you, anon, and thanks for your kind words. I like to believe that it won't happen to me since we've known each other for a long time and we were friends for ages before we started dating, but it is currently my biggest fear that it will end on a sour note. There's no real reason to think so, mostly just my pessimistic nature.

If you consider love like the satisfaction of powerful desire to be loved, appreciated, fullfilled by an external source of attention and care, maybe you don't want love, you just feel lonely, you are dealing with absence and void using the wrong weapons: regret, self harm, hatred. And this mental state is way far from a proficuous solitude.

When they say that love comes when you are happy, they are not memeing. They just use the wrong words.

I think love comes when you are ongoing with your life: you can still be unsatisfied, unhappy, fucked up in the worst way and still be loved. Problem is that if you are stuck and repressed, all pent up in yourself, in the ungainly attempt to stop feeling like shit and to enter a state of numbness... the chances that you meet a person with whom you can spend your time talking for hours, have wonderful sex, laugh, cry, eat, sleep and repeat, are low, but the chances that you will recognize him/her, are next to zero.

If you are instead moving, and I mean not going for the sake of breathing and surviving: I mean really moving, accepting that your life sucks now... You will come as a more integrated, rounded, full person. This is what they mean when they say that you have first to be happy alone. They mean that you have got to be able to exist fully as an individual, light and shadow, joy and pain, then you can enter a relationships love based. Not that you must have a pretty smiling face and six pack abs with six figures income.

>>18632608
I thought I had that with my ex, before we started dating I wasn't in a bad place, I was pretty happy in life for the most part. Then we started dating and my life was even better, I was really enjoying dating her, life was great.

Then out of nowhere she dumps me, honestly didn't see it coming at all. Even now I'm trying to look back and see the signs and they just aren't there. The day before she broke up with me we spent the day together and it was good, totally normal, had sex, told each other we loved each other, made plans for later, just so normal. Next day she says she doesn't love me the same anymore. After that I don't want to try again cause I'm so sick of putting so much into someone just for them to give it all up

>>18632756

I don't think we should give up on love. We should give up on the idea that love could be forever.

My ex dumped me out of the blue, she had a rebound bf, and now she's still with him. Almost 4 years with me, 3 years with him.

Maybe she cheated on me, who knows.

Fact is that she repeated so many times that love isn't forever, she did not believe that. So, after some years I understood. Thing is that love is always in the present, so if you in the now have the belief that it will be forever, and you are perfectly fine and trust with no doubt the other, there comes the betrayal from nowhere. She feels like you are so much in love, much more than her. So it has to be in some way that she doesn't love you anymore. Women's logic. But at the same time you deprive her from a challenge. This is more understandable but no less sad.

Next time it will happen to me, of course I will take love as it is, no great expectations. Probably I will suffer again, but I think it's ok, I can do it.

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Most definitely I have. I don't even blame women, for the amount of shit I give them here, I sorta understand where they're coming from. They have an easier time and want the best. What man doesn't? If you were a super model tier guy I'm sure you would jump from girl to girl. It's the shattered image that I find appalling. I've had female "friends" and a few gfs and their behaviors are just utter shit. They don't cook, live like pigs, are crass, have no directions(other than wanting to party). My entire image of them has been destroyed desu to the point that whenever I meet new women whether at work or through friends I immediately begin to see their flaws or at least gauge them.

At this point in my life I just focus on my career, my hobbies and enjoying the little things in life like a nice sunset and a cold beer. Not saying I'll have the balls to go full MGTOW, eventually I do think I'll marry, but I doubt I'll ever really fall in love.

Nah. I realized that love was never the problem. The problem was my own expectation. So instead of trying to blame the world for all of my problems, I've come to hold no expectation of it.

Words are just words, actions are only ever in the moment. Nothing matters, in the end, time will decide all.

>>18631827
>This person knows the most embarrassing things about me

Can't wait for your shitpost once she dumps you and uses all this info against you. Never give them ammunition because they ALWAYS use it against you. Women should come with a version of the miranda rights.

>>18632889
>miranda rights

TOPKEK

you made my day

Watching my family members in happy or at least decent relationships just makes me notice how much of an empty husk I am. Hearing everyone get told they're loved by someone else and hear I sit in silence just eats me. In either case I think after having only 1 relationship where I truly felt happy with someone I feel there's no use to pursue. At this point a good long look on the mirror shows that no matter how I look at it, no one wants a unmotivated, lonely, werido it's just not possible

you cant give up on something you've never known. In order for the species to survive, prosper and evolve those whose genetic data has zero to offer the species will fail to pass on their genes. This process is natural selection and only effects those who have to prove themselves to be mates, in this species it is the male who must prove his worth. Our species has prospered because a certain percentage of our male population must be ostracized and and cast out of social conventions such as mating, child raising, and even acts to propel the species forward. The pain of knowing one's own fate is agonizing.

>>18631696
Keep an open mind about this. It might be you, so maybe just take a step back and try and think why THEY would be unhappy

>>18631696

Have you ever contemplated the possibility that you keep having negative experiences because you're attracted to girls that treat you like shit?

>>18632994
Is there such a thing as one who doesn't?

>>18632978
For a few of my relationships I can see my own short comings and where they were coming from, however, I don't think that excuses some of their actions. My last relationship I honestly don't know what happened, it was so sudden, there were no warning signs, she didn't wanna talk it out, she obviously had a problem and didn't care to work through it, perhaps she was too immature for a relationship
>>18632994
But the relationship is usually good until the very end, it's not like the relationships are abusive

>>18632998

>Is there such a thing as one who doesn't?

I'm not sure I understand your question.

>>18633067

>But the relationship is usually good until the very end, it's not like the relationships are abusive

The point in time in which these relationships go sour is irrelevant to the fact that you have a pattern. The pattern is you get super invested into relationships with women that end up treating you like shit. The common denominator in this problem of yours is you. Something in you subconsciously is attracted to these women and thats why this keeps happening over and over. It isn't coincidence, OP.

>>18633148
I don't know, it just seems like it's odd that I am able to somehow pick out these girls who don't treat me like shit until the very end, but I don't think I totally disagree with you. I'm not sure what the problem is and why I keep doing it

>>18633157

>I don't know, it just seems like it's odd that I am able to somehow pick out these girls who don't treat me like shit until the very end, but I don't think I totally disagree with you.

The same way its odd that some women manage to continually pick guys that are really nice at first but then slowly evolve over time into abusive assholes?

You have this idea in your head that avoiding girls that treat you like shit is just as simple as making the conscious decision to do so but you have to realize somewhere that so much of our partner picking process is subconscious. You feel magnetized to these girls and every single time you give in to that feeling you end up getting burnt.

If you go to a bicycle store, try out 15 bicycles and crash on every single one of them what is more likely; that you coincidentally chose 15 bikes that were defective or that you just suck at riding a bike? Really think about it, OP. You'll never find the answer to your problem if you reside yourself to just being a victim of circumstance.

>>18632889
>she
I'm the grill in our relationship. Besides, I know his dirty secrets, too, so I doubt that's happening. I have a faith that we'll be able to remain civil even if we do break up.

>>18631696

Live for yourself

Every single one of my friends relationships is dysfunctional in some way. The majority of them are just plain fucked up, whether they're a doormat, walking atm, not allowed friends or as much as I hate the word 'cucked' it's just the reality of it. It gets worse in that some threaten to kill themselves, pretend to have illnesses, a friend's gf was 'convinced' she had cancer and I swear actually wanted a positive diagnosis or using children as hostages to keep someone around... when it suits them.

I have a friend who has just bought a house etc... together with his fiancee. He keeps telling me how he has it all figured out... The truth is if she leaves him that's his next 20 years that plan stopped dead in its tracks. But that's not going to happen... Not even a possibility in his mind.

I live alone and pay a lot more than the average person in tax, rent, utilities etc... since i'm not sharing and I wouldn't move into one of those fucking rented rooms. It prevents me saving as much as I could to be honest... I could legitimately move in a girl and have her pay no rent and I wouldn't be stretching it financially. There's no fucking shortage of them lining up... I don't invite women over... If they ask I have a roommate and he brought over a crazy person. I told him no more women at our flat... I had to agree to this too. It's better this way.

Sure your options go down... But you have just cut out the moochers. I know legitimately hot women who are strippers who would love to date me... But approaching 30, living with your parents, wiping the sweat for your arse on some mans leans for money... Not really something I want in my life is it.

A woman is a passenger in your life. She's free to leave any time and you can boot her out any time. Don't be her passenger and understand if she can drive she can do the same to you.

Have a profession to make money, a hobby that generates income, stay in shape and never settle.

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>>18631696
I just want a girl who wants to be happy with me. I cannot handle someone who gets stressed or angry. I just want to laugh and sit and eat nice food. I dont want to travel. I dont want to be anything other than existing. I want to be in a state that feels like it always has been and always will be. I have no idea how the fuck I will find someone who actually wants something so stagnant. Girls do not like this, girls want someone interesting. Comfy will not get me anywhere but everything else disgusts me. I will probably die before I even have my first kiss.
I have given up. I don't know.

I gave up. Ill die as a virgin. Who cares anyway. I hope i can kill me ASAP

Yeah love doesn't exist at all

>>18631740
>tfw you'll never hear a new Huey Lewis song.

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>>18631696
I haven't given up on it but I've stopped looking entirely. You can't force love, it's something that happens naturally. Gotta learn to accept that you may never find it, just one of those things.

>>18634202
I've started to think this
Love isn't real, you just spend time with someone, lying to each other, until one of you gets sick of each other and dumps them
Nothing you say matters, saying how you guys promise to never hurt each other and you'll love them forever, then they cheat on your or just stop caring, then you realize you've said the same things to many different girls before and you'll just say all the same shit again to a different girl

I've known from a young age there isn't going to be real love for me, I'm unattractive and don't even get checked out. I'm practically invisible, like a piece of background scenery, not unlike a lamp.


I've had relationships, but I end up just getting treated like shit and walked all over, and taken for granted. I'm tired of dating, and getting tired of people in general.

I've stopped bothering because people are just going to treat me like shit anyway, so why bother?

People either don't want me, or they want to use me for attention/money/whatever.

I wouldn't call myself cynical, but yes I have given up on love. Two relationships and one rejection was enough for me. First relationship lasted for a few years and it was a very enlightening experience. I learned what qualities I like in women and what I don't. What I can stand and tolerate and what I can't. Turned out that the girl I was with had nearly all the negative traits and zero positive ones so I broke up with her sort of in a whim.

After many years of studying myself, learning to understand myself I realized that relationships just don't work for me. I'm not the kind of a person that works in relationships and I've come to terms with it. I quite like being alone. More time for my hobbies and such.
But I won't lie, there are times when I wish I could sleep with someone, sit down and watch a good movie with and then analyze it to hell and back with that person. In a more romantic manner. That sounds autistic, but whatever.
I just want to share my life with someone who I'm intimate with, but to balance that out I have a very good friend I share things with.

I don't think everyone is meant to be with someone else. Some people are forever doomed to be alone. Coming to terms with it will help a bunch.
There have been two girls who showed interest in me since that, but I turned them both down and haven't regretted those decisions at all.

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I assume this thread is mostly full of dudes, so fellas question, I am 21 virgin, never dated, kissed , hugged another chick, whatever I never paid any attention to that now my family is getting worried and keeps pestering me about it, am I missing something? I've read this recent thread and there was one advice given that women will always test you and shit, why would I bother racing and pacing just to stay with a woman?? How about I buy real expensive fleshlight and it won't "test" me or give me any shit

I can imagine myself acting out of love for my family, principles or any manifestation of nature.

Romantic love, marriage, etc stuff is something I can't even picture in my mind, not even with the most beautiful girl in the world.

>>18634666
Ask yourself this question, does the girl of your dreams have to meet certain standards?

If you answered yes then you are being a hypocrite for wanting to test her while not allowing her to test you as well.
If you answered no then get ready for shitty relationships right now because you will never be happy with the girl you are with.

See women test men just like you do for the same reason typically. They don't want to invest time and energy on something that won't work.

And too all of the cynics, when you find a girl that you feel comfortable with and you can express yourself freely, then you'll understand what all of those love songs are about.

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I am in a relationship with a girl I've met like two years ago. We've started dating a couple months ago; problem is, that now I am living in the UK and it has become a relationship overseas ever since.

Sincerely, how fucked am I? She keeps telling me that she is never going to cheat on me, or dump me, and that she wants to be with me the rest of our lives, but I don't know. I would never doubt her word, but lately our chats started getting more sour and uninterested than before. She tells me that's the way she is, but I'm kinda confused.

>>18634679
Well I would like for a woman at least not be total shallow bitch but alas that's too much I guess

While women are always listing height etc priority so again, whats the point?

>>18631696
>have you given up on love?
meh, not really. it just gave up on me.
oh, also, i don't just mean romance or lust.

>>18634695
Honestly sounds like a time bomb
My last gf told me she'd never hurt me, always love me, all that bullshit, then out of nowhere she dumps me over snapchat
You can't ever really trust someone like that. But a ldr just isn't worth it and usually doesn't work. Wish you luck anon

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>>18634843
Thanks for replying. I hope everything goes well for me. The last thing I need is another disappointment now that I see things going up the hill.

>>18634699
Humans are shallow beings, no point in letting it upset you.

Any woman who values uncontrollable physical markers over personality isn't worth your time. Yes this excludes most women on online dating sites. Get over it and meet some less shallow people irl. Find a free concert in your area and talk to girls there.

Also the point is to get your dick wet. Just keep that in mind

I still believe in love but I just have a more realistic perception of it. That deep mad love that you see in movies is pretty rare for most people (especially those who have experienced heartbreak or otherwise have baggage) and most people will go with whoever they perceive to be the "best choice" in the environment they're in. Sometimes the environment or circumstances will change and someone who previously was into you may grow close to someone else or just walk away from the relationship. Nothing is guaranteed. You can only try your best to make the present moments count and let go once the relationship is over. Most of us won't get married and live happily ever after.

>>18631696
Nope. And I'll never give up no matter how much my previous exes stampeded all over my heart. Fuck them! I might die alone, but at least I'll be able to say I tried.

I have been in love with this girl for 2 years. My best friend is her boyfriend, i fell in love with her before. I have messed around with other girls, but it's just not what i am looking for. I want her.