I lost all feeling emotion empathy sympathy, emotional connection

>>18631382
>None of these "side effects" left my system when the drugs did.

That's depression, you are simply not out of the woods just because you have quit medication.

>I've got permanent brain damage. What do?

No you don't, you are afraid, this is fear of powerlessness to change your outlook yourself, this is you fearing your own failure is insurmountable beyond your abilities, at the same time it is a convenient excuse to plead yourself blameless for failing to achieve what you want in life, it is a convenient externalized cause to blame your powerlessness and failure on.

Stop bullshitting yourself with this edgy defeatist bullshit and try again and again and again until you die, start small, start doing something, explore curiosities, break your habitualized behavior that keeps you stagnant, remove yourself from the comfortable environment that allows you to continue being comfortable with a situation you are not even happy with.