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28/f/USA
I've been seeing a guy for the past four months but we've known each other for over a year prior to that.
We both love each other but both definitely have some pretty bad mental issues.
Whatever his issues are, I have no idea what they are for certain, but seems like he has BPD.
There are times where he is very loving one moment and absolutely horrible the next. Doesn't matter what I say or do, no amount of diffusing a fight has any effect on him and it usually escalates to a pretty awful level.
It is not uncommon for him to tell me to die or kill myself during these arguments. This would sound lame on his end, but I've had two suicide attempts so far this year and have been hospitalized both times. It's really only a matter of time before I actually do it and be successful.
I have told him all of this stuff, but he never remembers it or cares when he gets into one of these moods. I wish I knew what would really help to placate him when he's like this, he's going to be the death of me if I don't figure it out soon.
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If I were you, i'd cut the toxic guy out of my life and be done with it. but you aren't me and probably have some weird reason why you'd rather stay with some guy that is ruining your life.
I dont have problems cutting people out of my life, whether it be my abusive mother or brother (which they are). and I dont give two shits if I never see them again
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Break up with him. Love is overrated and delusional. What you need in a relationship is stability, peace, trust, and respect. Love comes naturally from that. If all our medical science can't fix it, you can't either. Stop trying.
To bolster my point, I have been with my partner for 4 years, married two, known for 2 years prior to dating. We both agree on these things and we have 0 relationship issues even with us both dealing with major depressive disorder and several other individual issues.
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Does he take meds?
You're self aware of the issue, which is great, but if he does not get treatment, or the treatment isn't working, I'm sorry, but this isn't going to change.
You're probably going to disregard this advice, but the reason why people stay in abusive relationships is because they hold on to a strand of unreasonable hope that the relationship will go back to normal. But it won't. He's comfortable with you now. This is your life forever if you choose to stay.
If you disregard this advice, and have kids with this man, think of the emotional trauma your children will have. As much as I resent my father, I hated my mother for putting us in this situation. Whenever he would be destructive, he would end up leaving. The problem, was that he would be welcomed with open arms by my mother when he chose to return a few months later. She didn't depend on anything from him, infact, he was more dependent on her. She could have stopped it. She didn't.
History repeats itself. You know there's a problem, we're telling you it's unfixable.
Whatever you get hereonout, you deserve.
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if he doesn't understand what you are going through or your feelings you should just move on, it will be hard buts its for the best
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>>18630283
>but seems like he has BPD.
abort mission and abandon ship immediately. these people are prone to fucking up the lives of others
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DUMP THAT JERK
YOU DESERVE BETTER
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