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>24.
>Hispanic of Mexican Origin.
>Living in Vancouver, WA USA.
>WSU Graduate. Bachelors in Medical Science.
>Immigrated to the U.S. with my parents when I was 11.
>Lived in South West Washington since I first arrived here
>Citizenship at 15.
>Only Child.
>Recently inherited an estate from grandfather.
Recently, I took a trip with my father back to my birthplace of Toluca, MX; it’s a city in central Mexico, and I has since changed my outlook on my life here in the United States of America. For a long time, I thought that I was accepted in this country I know live in, but since the I got off the plane in Portland, I have never felt at place here. I thought that living here learning English, listing to music in English, eating American food, playing in a baseball team and trying to have American friends it would mean that I was an American and not a Mexican anymore. but I was wrong. I’m not, I visited Mexico and walking around was the first time I was able to be myself and it felt freeing. it was the most free I’d been in 14 years. I was able to speak Spanish and walk around without people staring at me, I was able to talk to people in public and not be ashamed of not being white.
pt.1
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>>18627018
pt.2
it was the most freeing experience I’ve had, not only did I reconnect with my family there face to face instead of facebook massages every now and then, but I was also able to see photos of my grandfather and grandmother I’d never seen before, I saw one of my grandfather with me in the “Defensa Nacional De Toluca” it’s the Mexican version of the young marines here in the U.S.
and it sparked these feelings of belonging I’ve never had.
I’ve been bouncing this idea in my head since I got back after 2 mouths there. I don’t think I belong here. I don’t think I ever did. and since going back there I can’t get this feeling out of me, this longing of being back there with my family and all my old friends and people there. I actually felt happy there for the first time in a very long time.
I want to bring this up with my father but I don’t know how. He has always pride himself in coming here and “becoming an American” but I don’t think we ever did, I think we have just been pretending to for a very long time and I don’t want to pretend anymore.
How can I bring this up with him? I at least want to travel back there and maybe stay there for a long period of time, but he has a job offering for me lined up from one of his business partners that he wants me to accept. what can I say /adv/ please help.
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>>18627018
>>18627022
definitely go back. encourage your countrymen to go back as well. I'm not saying that because "muh wall" but because being in your homeland with your own people is, like you said, the most comfortable you'll ever be.
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>>18627025
I don't know how to bring it up with my father.
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>>18627027
just say what you just said to us dude
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>>18627032
wont work. he looks down on Mexican society and thinks America is better. I don't agree with this idea and this is where I come to a stand still with him. I know him to well.
he'd just be upset. and dismiss it.
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>>18627018
>>18627022
I know what you feel dude, I'm Mexican too nacido en matamoros but brought here at a very young ages. I have always tried to integrate as best as I could into the US but it just isn't the same as when in Mexico and knowing in every fiber of your being that you just belong there. It's sad though since culturally we're just so different. It was a mistake coming to the US and every Mexican here deep down regrets it. At least that's my theory.
Not that I hate whites or any other minority. People say whites are racists and this and that and I've seen that side but I've always been treated fairly and many of my best mentors where white guys but it's just not the same. There's a barrier that you can't cross and as /pol/tard as it sounds it makes me resent this multicultural bullshit to no end.
>>18627025
I have no family back there, everyone's dead or the relative distance is so much that they may as well be strangers. I've thought about it before but it's hard as fuck to reintegrate into a society that you don't know. It's not like I'm the travelling type either. If it wasn't so dangerous I'd heavily consider it but as it stands I'll wait for the day mexicans regularly return to mexico before I go. Let them figure out the path.
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>>18627025
>tfw you'll never be Mexican and pure blood American
This.
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>>18627054
>. It was a mistake coming to the US and every Mexican here deep down regrets it.
your 100% right, all my family back home is 10x more successful than my father is here, sure we own a house here, but it's shit compared to the farm that my grandfather left me and my fathers old house was waaay better by anyones standards.
he's a corporate manager here for a telecommunications company and my mom is studying psychology but the both know if my father would have stayed in the military ( he was in the marines there) he could have been a general by now and we would have had a better life there and here.
I just think his pride got the best of him and now he's too much of a dickless pussy to admit it to anyone including himself. I should have taken a photo of his face when he saw my uncles car and house there. he is retired at 53 and owns a chain fast food restaurant there in toluca and Mexico City; my father's look when he saw his little bother actually did better than he ever will be able to, it was priceless anon. that was one of my favorite parts of the trip.
i'm from the state of mexico. saludos desde washington.
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>>18627018
Mexicans don't belong on 4chan they belong on a Washington state apple plantation. When I was younger I took a trip to a Washington apple plantation. The owners of the plantation looked down on Mexicans heavily and had built small shacks for their seasonal Mexicans workers. They would pay them very little and the worst thing about it it is that most Mexicans are fine about this fact. Wetbacks are the lowest of the low. This state is not a good place for your kind, going back to Mexico would be a wise decision, take some of your hombres with you.
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>>18627018
I hate Mexicans. I get the feeling of living in the third world when there are a whole bunch of mexicans or gooks around. Maybe someday you'll see the world how I see things.
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>>18627054
>I have no family back there, everyone's dead or the relative distance is so much that they may as well be strangers. I've thought about it before but it's hard as fuck to reintegrate into a society that you don't know. It's not like I'm the traveling type either. If it wasn't so dangerous I'd heavily consider it but as it stands I'll wait for the day Mexicans regularly return to Mexico before I go. Let them figure out the path.
I don't think you should give up on that anon.
Mexico needs people who are educated and can work.
and besides, if your in Mexico, you'll be married in no time. you wont need a family; you'll make one there. it's actually not as bad as people think it is. the MSM paints it as a shithole and that's what I believed for a long time until I went back. I don't think it's a shithole I think the people that move from there are just broke. there's a difference.
don't give up.
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My father is Dominican. He was became a self made millionaire here in Canada after he and my danish mother moved here. He always surrounded himself with spanish speaking people and listened to Spanish music almost exclusively, basically tried to recreate the dominican. He had a mental breakdown and moved back home almost 6 years ago and hasn't come back. I grew up with my mother and look and act 100% white.
We need familiarity, you should be where you feel you belong.
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>>18627098
>We need familiarity, you should be where you feel you belong.
I believe we do. I don't think it was until recently that I noticed that about my life.
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