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Hey /adv/, particularly interested in hearing from current/recovered

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Hey /adv/, particularly interested in hearing from current/recovered drug addicts but open to any suggestions. Here's the run down;
Ive been getting high since i was 15, im 19 now.
Started smoking meth at 17 and i've been to SEVEN different rehab/outpatient programs.

At my longest I had 9 months clean, when i relapsed a little over a year ago, ive only been able to string a month together before i keep getting high again. My last big drug was heroin, and its been a while since i've done that. I've been using again for about a month.

It started with post smoking, all day every day, now its pot with booze, pills, coke, anything I can get my hands on.

I have a chance to take a course at a university but I know my parents won't fund it unless im sober.
>TL;DR drug addict needs help finding motivation to get sober.

ask any clarifying questions you need
>>
Should mention I deal with severe depression, and that i use to drugs to cope with it, along with drugs help me find friends.
>>
Everyone says addicts can't be helped, that it's all on you to help yourself. That's a sad thought and I hope it's not true but the "experts" say it is.

But seriously what kind of answer do you expect? Some 2000 character post on /adv/ will somehow "motivate" you to turn your life around? I guess you either "mean it" or you don't. You are either already motivated, or you secretly imagine you will be dead long before you have to face consequences.

So which is it gonna be? Will the rest of your life be weeks, months, years, or decades?
>>
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/exqnzk/thailands-monastic-rehab-tham-krabok-528
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