How do I get a better personality? Is there a way when I've

listen to lots of rap and watch reruns of the Jerry Springer show. It will make you cool and learn the skreet lingo you lust for.

>>18626293
I don't want to seem like something I'm not, I just want to be "fun", interesting to talk to...

One person said I was "torture" to talk to because I was too aspie.

>>18626288
Idk anon, if you have certain qualities (charisma, confidence, brilliant intelligence) talking like a robot becomes insignificant. I'm crushing hard on a guy who talks like a cross between a robot and academic professor. He'll, he is even sometimes awkward in social interaction and I can see his robotic side shining through his usually composed but chill demeanour. But I like him so I find it endearing, fascinating and attractive. So maybe you just need to find someone who will feel about you in a similar way.

Be more Leonard and less Sheldon.

>>18626303
So you tell the anon to just be good lookingn and then personality is not so important?

>>18626308
That is not what I said at all, I didn't mention physical appearance... I'm quite sure my guy wouldn't be considered a good looking chad by 4chan standards or conventional standards of male attractiveness. But he is passionate and caring, knowledgeable and curious of the world, has sense of humour and views on life that click with mine. Two things made me fall for him: his intellect and his awkward aspire side. It's very unusual to come across a man like him, in comparison other guys are like boring simpletons.

> But everything I say is detestible,
what do you say, details pls

>>18626323
I think I understand... Sorry, but I think he is good looking, not a "chad", he just doesn't have the simpleton/jock look. But still attractive... Would help if you posted TV personalities similar to him so I can attempt to mimic him.
>>18626387
It's my poor social skills that make me insulting and boring. Like a waitress looked at me while I was with my mom because she liked me I guess (I'm not bad looking), and I said the worst thing without realizing, I asked if she could pick up all the plates at once (as if she were a circus actor)... I only realized after my mom said that it was rude, and I held my head down, and she didn't look at me...

But that's just one example, my problem is deeper... I even hesitate to post online because I can't relate to people as much anymore. I just want to be likeable.

Final bump, them bye

>>18626288
Surround yourself with the people you know has the best personality, something of it will stick to you.

>>18626489
>I asked if she could pick up all the plates at once

PEAK ALPHA

>>18626288
Had the same issue with social failures friend.
My advice is simple, start injecting yourself into conversations, learn about popular topics and sprinkle in your personal opinions.

it snowballs over time, until eventually starting and maintaining conversations comes as easy as breathing.

good luck anon!

I still want replies...

My "coolness" is low. I used to be considered "cool" in school, girls hanged out with me and boys copied how I dressed...

My self-confidence is low due to being uncool now at 20 years old.

My personality is bad and I have no friends anymore. I almost don't want any friends anymore, that's how long I've been this way...

I'm making 1 last effort to be likeable before I become... a perma[insert popular jeer for uncool people].

(p.s. no counselor can help me, I went to one for months)

It started in middle school... But I was popular until high school. So in high school, I became literally nobody and ate food in a bathroom, missed days, dropped out, and at 18 found 4chan (all those years spent not having proper social life)

I'm really weird.

In elementary I was probably uncool because of aspergers, but I didn't realize because I had no interest in sexuality. Much fun.

In middle school I was forced to become more likeable and somehow was cool, probably only because I was good looking. Fun in a different way.

In high school my aspergers reasserted itself, idk what happened exactly. I think that I was struck with social anxiety, I could've had friends and girlfriends in high school too but I was like a cripple.

For the years since then I have been pseudo-NEET.

It can't be so hard to be likeable and myself if I only didn't have aspergers AND social anxiety (but aspergers syndrome is kind of life-ruining from birth, unchangeable)


Nobody cares?

I can change

>>18626288
Hi there, OP.
Been there before.

I'm a full on autist currently studying my third year in a science degree. Before I even began my course though I had two plans, one for education and the other for social progress.

In social situations, try to be as vocal as you can, speak up, smile as much as possible and when in doubt act like Sinatra or JFK. (That was my rule at least) emulate successful men and eventually the traits will become a part of you.

If you ever get stuck in conversations play the "that reminds me of" game.
Should you hit a wall of awkward silence, scan your surroundings, find something (lets use a live band as an example) and say "hey that guitarist reminds me of [insert your favorite guitarist] or whatever

Slang talk is pointless as are phrases and 'sayings' to me, I just put up with it.

Best of luck with everything, pal.

>>18629834
>>18626288
I see you write about having seen counselor(s) too, well I'm not a counselor but if you'd want to continue a chat I'd talk over snapchat or email? If you just need a friend or pen pal or someone to vent to.

Also let me preface the following statement by saying; the following is not a negative usage but you sound just like my girlfriend. She too has asperger's syndrome and is 20. I can promise you it's not a "life ruiner" as she has also stated. It just needs very specific tweaking in order to make interactions socially viable.

I believe I could be of some assistance and I don't resume my studies for another four weeks so if you're interested in getting things off your chest, receiving potential advice and maybe making a friend by all means reply and I'll provide you with an email or whatever details you'd prefer to talk privately.

>>18629834
>>18629857
Also if it wasn't already clear, I posted both of these replies. Just to clarify.

Hope all is well

File: 13518d39-f30b-494f-8095-774bb2e163ad.jpg (59KB, 500x523px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 500x523px

Personally I listen to people more, ask them about what's going on in their lives, what they like, etc. While this might not be your answer for having your own personality it will make you very likable. People like feeling heard and validated. Lessen the steps to validation. Make people around you feel special. Whatever you attributes are right now they can still become personable. Just remember to listen, don't think about what you're going to say to relate. Engage with people and learn about empathy, compassion and relating to others. Best way not to be an aspie.

>>18626288
It sounds like you're just struggling with having an identity to call your own.

>>18629861
thanks, I happen to be online my email is [email protected]

My social anxiety comes from my aspie mind, I know I do poorly socially unless I put extreme effort. Would be nice to know how your girlfriend deals with interactions or how you assisted her... That's all I can ask. Don't need 4 weeks.

Actually I was nervous to reply, I was going to just say "I can do it by myself thanks" but I need to remember, I fail socially hard... I made the thread for a reason (I have quit at attempting college classes, jobs, and seeing old friends & family because of aspergers and the SA it causes)

I am going to remember those tips and this one >>18629869


I sleep soon, so bye.

>>18629891
I can be no other but aspie, I have tried to mimic others to behave normal.

It's to a point I have to remind myself I'm not going to sound normal if I give my opinion.

>>18626288
You dont need to talk cool to be liked.

Youre either way overperceiving what others think of you, or your trying to befriend the entirely wrong archetype for your personality.

Take lead autist alpha at the dungeons and dragons meetup club. He has friends, validation, a social life, enjoys himself. Now plop him at a bar.

I imagine if this same dude only ever went to bars and hung out with "cool" people as you call them, hes be on adv too bitching about how no one seems to like him.

>>18629914
It is perfectly within the realm of possibility to learn to tweak oneself to both. Asperger's or not.

>>18629905
>I can be no other but aspie
If you really believed that you wouldn't have made this thread. You need the nerve to betray who you know yourself as. You don't need to mimic anyone else, just do what makes sense to you and learn how to portray it to others. Stop being afraid of looking stupid, it's the only way to iron yourself out.

>>18626489
Wow, dude. You sound like such a self-pitying defeatist here that I can only imagine that thats whats truly holding you back.

>>18630016
I think I just miscommunicated with her as I do with most people.

Why do I sound that way? I have less social anxiety online but my social success is still around the same here as offline.

But it was kind of dumb of me to ask you people for help when you're the ones who I can't relate to in the first place.