hey /adv/, I am a pharmacy student and I am not passing one

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hey /adv/,

I am a pharmacy student and I am not passing one of my clinical rotations out in the field. I failed a hospital rotation, then I failed the second resolution period with the professor from my school because she said that I am still lacking enough clinical knowledge to be able to move on. I did well in some parts in the make up period, but still not well enough in the parts where I was tested verbally on my knowledge, which is an "on the spot" type of thing. I do admit sometimes I freak out when I am asked questions on the spot and it makes me under perform.

Still I invested a lot of energy, time, and money into the schooling. I am ~$200,000 in debt right now. I did not anticipate failing the clinical portion of pharmacy school because I still passed the didactic portion.

At this point the faculty at my school are deciding if I have to get dismissed, or if I can stay in the program. I told them that I don't want to get dismissed.

I am still waiting on their decision, they should send me an email this week.

The thing is, if I am dismissed I am screwed and nobody cares about it. The faulty don't care, clinical professors don't care, society does not care, and I am left to handle this on my own.

There is no way I'll be able to pay this off and survive on my own at the same time. I am going to be haunted with this debt for the rest of my life, and will not really have a chance to do anything else. I can't even plan ahead for anything in the future because I am constantly waiting on what people will say about me as a student.

I am not sure how to handle this problem. I don't want to work a low end job, and not have a pay check at the end of the pay periods because 100% of it goes to loans. Why work if I cannot survive off of the money?...

Seriously, this is a very tricky problem to handle and I won't be able to handle the money issue. My parents will not be able to pay it off either because they have other expenses and will be retiring soon.