Question for femanons. I've recently started online dating.

Most people hate saying no or letting another person down so they wait for the least stressful avenue to express their feelings.

Sorry about your situation

>>18624927
I promise you women will find you more attractive if you stop browsing Reddit

>>18624941
Thanks I understand that, yet why do they take the presents? A polite 'no thank you'would be fine.
I mean it really is quite crass because it just comes across as taking free stuff from naively hopeful ugly lonely people.

>>18624947
Huh?

>>18624927
Dude, you just don't know what you're doing. You do that same thing on every date right? That's foolish. Any gift giving should be tailored to the individual. You don't just copy paste some generic gift and give it to every single date on the first date.

Anytime I got a girl a gift like that on the first date it went badly and I never talked to her again, and I realized it's because the vast majority don't give a shit about some flowers or a box of chocolates, m8, they care about who's giving it to them. If it was something independently valuable, it would be different, but little things like roses and candy are only special in so far as they are from someone special. A token to remember a special person. If you aren't a special person, what's special about a box of chocolates she could buy if she wanted to but doesn't because of calories? Or flowers she has to maintain?

tl:dr: It sounds like you're trying to play out some script and overdoing it. Take and assess each woman as an individual in and of herself, and be careful about drawing hasty generalizations about what you think women want.

>>18624927
I'm not a femanon, neither a virgin tho.
Taking the time to think about going for a second date is totally okay.

On the other hand, women are hard to understand, because they won't get straight to the point. Rejecting someone face-to-face, right after the first date is not considered safe by them.

And the word "safe" here means both physical safety and mental safety. Nowadays it's cozier to hit the send button and delete the contact, than looking into someone's eyes and telling them the truth.

And hey, it's free chocolate/flowers. They don't give shit for rejecting you, why would they feel guilty?

>>18624965
Great thank you.
This is just what I needed. I'm very clueless with dating so can only go off stereotypes I guess. Thank you.

>>18624927
They take the present because you give it to them, duh. A box of chocolate or flowers isn't like an engagement ring or something like that. It's not a gift contingent on anything else. It's just a gift. Some of them probably go home and throw it in the trash, honestly, dude. They just don't want to be rude when you appear to be trying so desperately hard as to give flowers and chocolates on a first date.

Flowers and chocolate and stuff work great, but the girl has to like you already. You can't bribe a woman into liking you with that kind of stuff, and trying to, comes off really cheap and desperate.

Why the fuck are you showing up to first dates with gifts? It makes you look desperate and thirsty as fuck. That's why you're getting constantly rejected.

>>18624984
Yes. I know. I am such a loser. I'm only pushing myself to date, because every single family member jokingly accuse me of being gay with my friend.
I'm tired of it

>>18624927
>Flowers and chocolates!
What year is this 1920? Do you ask her to accompany you to do the jitterbug after? Bro you just got to invite them over for Netflix and chill.

>>18624927
This entire post makes me laugh. Yuck!

>>18624927
>giving a gift on the first meeting
whew.
Same reason why women accept drinks from guys they aren't gonna fuck, if you give someone a gift you usually aren't expecting anything in return. You're not gonna buy sex/dates with chocolate anon.
It's also awkward to refuse. If she said "No I don't want your chocolates" right then and there what are you going to think? "She's not interested in me".
Makes the rest of the outing very awkward.

The meaning of a gift is that it's given to please the receiver. If you give someone a gift with the unspoken understanding that their acceptance must reflect how they feel about you, it isn't a sincere gift, it's more like a bribe or a mind game.
For this reason (and because you bring simple, not too expensive gifts) it is considered incredibly impolite to refuse a gift. Why in the world would anyone, unless they have a suspicion that there's a catch? Which would be insulting to most people.

And for the record, yes most absolutely will get a sinking feeling when you pull it out. They just will either panic and accept on autopilot, or conclude that it's worse to not accept it or head straight to a full on rejection than just being graceful about it.

Also as others have said, do not bring gifts to a first date period. Props for putting yourself out there depsite your reservations, though, many people don't have your guts.

>>18624973
This.

OP women are opportunistic cowards who if they don't respect or desire you don't even consider you a human.
It's why they go and sponsor little African kids and stray animals and other bullshit, because they have moments of clarity and realise they're awful human beings and try to feel better about themselves.
I'm Not saying all Girls are like this, but they definitely exist in large numbers. why do you think girls hate each other so much and so commonly? Because good girl know how shot a lot of females are, and shit women know when other women know they're shit.
The fact you're so desperate for one shows you're either stupid or underage. Just be careful what you wish for. Going to dates with chocolates and flowers shows scheming sociopathic women you're gullible and very easy to manipulate.

>>>18624927 (OP)
>>18624965
This anon gets it. You don't want to get them something on the first date, especially something so generic. I think it's a bit desperate. But you want to do something memorable. Personally I'm a big music guy and there's a large music scene at my uni/area. I usually take a girl to a concert on our first date. We get to know each other at dinner, listen to some music. It's different. My ex gf/now-best friend said it's a good move for first dates.

>>18627080
This anon gets it. A girl wants an experience and not a thing. Take her to an event or place you know she will like because you were interested in her enough to know her likes/dislikes. Your date will appreciate that you thought of who she is and what she likes when planning a date.

>>18624964
It's seen as rude, by some, to reject someone's gift and it would be awkward to deny it then and there

>>18627111
This anon gets it. Since you're doing online dating or whatever, it's easy to find her interests and suggest something relevant to those. Sometimes dinner is just enough to be honest, if there was good conversation. I remember one date where we got dinner and sat on a bench talking nonstop for 8 hours from 7 PM to 3 AM. Nothing special but it was memorable.

Women are used to men being very, very insistent, after being rejected. Sometimes they even get angry. That's why they accepted the gift in person but rejected you by text. Also, it's really rude to say no to a gift. The fact that you don't understand this makes me think your people skills might not be the best.

> and not feel any guilt whatsoever for accepting and worse still happily consuming them?
How do you know they don't feel guilty? I'd feel pretty bad if a guy I didn't click with bought me a gift.

Anyway my advice is to stop giving them gifts! I can't explain why but it would put me off. I think it makes you come off as desperate.

>>18627080
>>18627111
>>18627122
This anon gets it mind

>>18627301
What if the gift was a 19 year old black guy with a great big 20 inch cock who couldn't speak English?

>>18624927
Why would you spend money on women anyway if they wouldn't do the same for you, cuh? Real nigga shit, the only time I gave my gf money was for her to buy me a bottle of water.