My bf of 2 1/2 years broke up with me in text message .. He's

>>18623303


He sleeps al day and stays up all night playing playsStopn or doing other weird shit

maybe you should look for someone else then

>>18623320
Ya I guess I'm just torn btwn letting it go or trying to
Fix
It.. But honestly idk like he acts irresponsible and isn't reliable.. It rubs off on me.. And he acts like I'm too much Bc I expect him to keep his promises. I think I should prob just let him go as said as I wanted it to work out, idont think we are right for each other...

>>18623331
Don't try and fix someone. Find someone who you actually like the way they are. He's obviously not going to change.

>>18623356


I know.. I just feel
Bad Bc I wanna love the shit out of him, but I always wanna be loved too...

>>18623362
Give your love to someone who deserves it. He's going to stay the same way forever.

>>18623362
Make love count by being with someone who's valuable.

>>18623365


I know but like no one is perfect and idk . Blah it sucks. :( I just wish he could try harder but he Obviosuly doesn't want to, he would rather break up

>>18623372
Look, either break up or be miserable.
There are millions of beautiful people out there. become one and find one.

>>18623378


True. It's just kinda sad but yah, it's
Hard to be happy
With someone who's irresponsible and unreliable and unavailable a lot.

>>18623382
You're playing the game called, "If it weren't for him"
The reason you don't want to break up is because then you'd have to be exposed to the elements of the world.
Him being irresponsible, unreliable, and unavailable allows you to put blame on him and feel secure in the world still.
Either face the world or continue to feel secure.

>>18623392
No idea what that means

>>18623398
Having him around is a scapegoat.
Accept that he can't be your scapegoat.

>>18623401
I'm sorry I still don't get what ur sayen

>>18623401
True advice. I felt this about it too. Don't know how to explain it to OP though.

>>18623416
Hmm like you guys thinkk I'm blaming him for things inn the world but it's actually me or like what I don't get it

>>18623303

Usually when people break up with you, it's time to move on.

And by usually, I mean this is not an exception.

>>18623303
If you've been in a relationship with him for 2.5 years and you still don't live together then you're not a real couple. Your relationship was never going to go anywhere.

>>18623486
Yupp that's also true. We planned on moving In together ASAP, but yeah that's not
Gonna happen clearly

No guy your age without kids wants to wake up early to go to Six Flags with his girlfriend who disapproves of him, unless he's bad in bed. Find a nice guy or a guy who's a jerk sometimes that you want to fuck. You can't have both unless you too are a lousy lay and a nice responsible reliable person.

>>18623558


It was his idea to go and his idea to wake up early ..

If he didn't plan it I would care but when you make commitments you have to commit
To them. I can understand not once in a while, but he does it so much that I can't even trust his words for anything .. He says we are gonna move in for a long time but I don't even believe him Bc he always breaks his promises . I don't think that's a good relationship

>>18623778
Dump him then. He sounds like a worthless dick and you sound nice.

Drop him, if he's not going to put in the effort then maybe he doesn't deserve to be in a relationship with you

>>18623312
sounds like he's going to kill himself. give it a few days and see if you can meet him in person to find out a little bit about what's going on in his head

>>18623303
Lol.

Bad luck with him. nobody deserves to be treated like this, just do your best to move on and cut off all possible contact with him.

My condolences, but there are enough warm people out there with which you can spend your time with, roll the dice and try to find them!

Good luck OP:

yet another retarded women who hunts men then is surprised said "man" is behaving like women

why do you think its good for you to run after a retard like you are his pet dog? is he that good looking? so rich? why?

>>18623303
OP, you need a reminder that your vagina means he can be replaced at any time. Use it and replace this clown. It really bothers me when other women allow a man to mistreat them when they don't have to.

>>18624314
>>18624202
>>18624185


True
Ok thanks everyone I'm just gonna let him go . He broke up with me. It's not my place to say sorry.. Again.

>>18625291
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXVVvQP1TwU

>>18623362
You don't want to love someone, you just love someone. And from how you speak about this guy it's obvious that you don't love him. Move on

>>18623303
That's the most generic thing I've seen on this board, do you realize that thousands of other relationships end like this? Someone simply not caring for their reasons or getting bored/tired.

You could've seen this coming, for a long term relationship both partners have to work in order to understand each other and get along, if you truly love someone you can overcome the bullshit of humanity and get to the good part of it, you also have to make sure you don't get bored. Find someone who's smart and fun to be around, for a long time, naturally not enforced. Be someone likeable, work on yourslf so you can expect the same out of other people, don't lose your individuality, work on your good sides not on what is seen as good by others. And never stop until you die.

>>18625303
How is it
Obvious I don't love
Him. Honestly maybe I don't anymore, I don't think he loves me for the way he's acted over our relationship.. Like a lotttt worse things, his is just the last straw

>>18625340


Thank you thank you. I'm definitely going through a period of working on myself Fiercly and changing my whole life

>>18625384
That's what I meant. You talk of all the constant lies and disappointment etc. These aren't feelings you have for someone you love. He doesn't seem worth it. Unless you can think of redeeming qualities.

>>18625388
It is possible to love someone who disappoints you by treating you like shit. The only reason you stick around for it is BECAUSE you love them and hold out hope and faith in them even when you probably shouldn't.

You're making no sense.

>>18625388


Basdically I wanted to love the shit out of him, but he's let me down so much, I've caught him in lies, he's not reliable , I can't trust his word. How can I love somehow who acts like this. I used to think it was me , Bc that's what he made me believe, but I don't really think it is anymore ..

Some things have been my fault of course. I'm sure I've overreacts whatverr done stuff myself but that's beside the point, the point is it's not good to be with someone you can't rely
On, and don't trust ahyrbjg they say Bc they constantly disappoint you

>>18625391
Iwe been together 2 and a half years.. I've been holding out for a long time. It's possible to love someone but realize you will never be happy with them for how thy treat you. You're basically saying if you love them and they treat you badly stay with them anyway

Idk maybe I don't love him them idrc anymore our relationship has been anticipating a break up for an entire year

>>18625397
I'm not saying that.

It seems like anon was telling you you don't love him in the first place just because you don't like how he treats you, which is bullshit.

He made it sound like it's your fault.

>>18625392
I agree with you. As I've already said, he doesn't sound worth it in any sense at all. Move on and find someone else. You'll be better off. You stuck around because you wanted change, he hasn't shown any signs of change, or of wanting to change.

>>18625391


Other things he's done that are a lot bigger than a trip to six flags ..

-tell me we are moving in likes year ago then backed out
-planned to Bing me with his friends on a trip to Ireland than last minute said I couldn't come
-he constantly blows off our plans or would rather play PlayStation till 6am than see me.
-I was sick on vacation and contracted Lyme disease and didn't know till like a month and he treated me like shit the whole time I was sick, ignored me, and threatened to break up with me for how I was acting (Bc I felt so sick, I was dehydrated af and shoulda been hospitalized which I wasn't, and since it wasn't treated right away I developed complications from the dosease. Not saying it's his fault, but he treated me so badly, i couldn't take care of myself and he should have brought me to a hospital. This was last summer)

I don't think he loves

>>18625399
That's not what I was saying at all loool. Sometimes it's hilarious how people take things the wrong way. My point is that somebody who lies and disappoints constantly is not worth loving. Feelings of disappointment, inadequacy, annoyance and generally being let down are not things associated with love. So again, for th to fourth time. I am advising OP to stick with the break up, and I am NOT blaming her at all. That clear everything up?

And if he loves me he wouldn't break up in text Bc I ws mad for being disapppointed again .he would say sorry and try to fix it . It's beeen 24 hours and no contact from him (or me)

>>18625410
Oh okay that makes sense

>>18625410
>Feelings of disappointment, inadequacy, annoyance and generally being let down are not things associated with love.
You can feel all of these things and love for someone at the same time.

Being treated in a way for you to be feeling those things indicate a lack of love on the other person's part. Not yours. Because they don't care how what they are doing is making you feel. When you stop holding out hope for change is when the feeling of love will wane.

So yeah whatever it's clear. I just disagree with you.

OP my boyfriend literally broke up with me because I refused to take responsibility and apologize for an argument HE started. He didn't even give the courtesy of "breaking up" either, he just stopped talking to me.

Some people are just fucked in the head. You can't help them. They'll never change. Move on.

>>18625422
Yeah that's basically it . Like I'm mad at him for what he did so he's done with me? It's so twisted.

Whenever I get mad for what he does, he breaks up with me and then I apologize but I'm not doing that this time

>>18625423
Exactly.

He would always act like me simply pointing out the shitty things he was doing to me was worse than the fact that he was doing those things in the first place. Absolutely fucked.

>>18625418
I agree it's the other person's doing. Anybody who makes you feel like that isn't worth loving. And quite frankly I can't understand how you could love somebody who makes you feel that way. I'm in a relationship seven years and never felt any of these things, it's alien to me. As for waiting for change, as long as you don't mind putting your whole life on hold I guess, because people seldom change in my opinion. OP that other message you wrote stating all the other things he's done only drives the point home that you are better off. You deserve somebody who treats you far better than that, I wish you the best of luck in the future.

>>18623303
How old are you?

I really hope you're a minor.

>>18625428

Yeah exactly. Like yeah I'm mad.. But you did something to make me mad? Instead of taking repspibsity for that and having some integrity and being a betterr person, you blame it on me and break up. No thanks. Like I've had enough At this point

>>18625430
I hope to have a relationship where stuff like that is alien to me. Thanks jmgonnna start working hard to be better

>>18625430
>I can't understand how you could love somebody who makes you feel that way. I'm in a relationship seven years and never felt any of these things, it's alien to me.
Ok so then you shouldn't be speaking about it then lol. Reconciling what your heart wants and what is the logical thing to do is not so easy for most people in a committed relationship. You were in love with them first and then things go bad and it's hard to know if the situation is worth staying and trying to fix or not. Of course if someone is shit to you from the first you would never fall in love with them in the first place.

>>18625428

Like go find a girl who doesn't mind being a doormat. Idrc. That's clearly what he wants and sorry I'm not like that

>>18625442
>Reconciling what your heart wants and what is the logical thing to do is not so easy for most people in a committed relationship.
It very much fucking is. After you graduate high school, you should learn that love isn't all that matters in a relationship and you want to be with someone you're highly compatible with.
If your partner and you aren't compatible, you just say "oh well" and move on with your life.

Most people are able to do that.

>>18625455
Yep, my thoughts too. That anon is more interested in arguing over word semantics and love with me than actually offering any assistance to OP. For reasons unknown to me.

>>18623303
Are you dating a teenager? What the fuck

>>18625455
>If your partner and you aren't compatible, you just say "oh well" and move on with your life.
Yeah, after you've broken up.

We're talking about getting to the point of actually making that decision.

>>18625461
I've been assisting her this whole time. I'm done with you. I thought your comment was confusing at first and you clarified it so fine.

>>18625473
He already broke up with me. And he has said it A LOT over the past few months and I try to fix it. I'm at the point where I don't wanna apologize for his mistakes anymore
. I literallt didn't do anything other than be upset which I'm allowed to be ...

>>18625479
Yeah I know. And the reason you didn't say "oh well" and drop him after the first or second time you did this is because you were still in love with him.
You don't stop loving someone immediately and flippantly break up with them just because they let you down one time..unless you are somewhat psychotic like it seems your bf is. But evidently everyone else in this thread is like that lol.

>>18625473
>We're talking about getting to the point of actually making that decision.
And I am saying that it isn't an incredibly hard decision to make.
Once you understand that relationships are about compatibility, if there is one issue that divides you and your SO and neither of you are willing to compromise, you should realise you can simply move on and find someone who is a better fit for you.

It might be painful, it might be difficult to go through with it, but the realisation "we have this issue which we can't really agree on [in OP's case - she has certain expectations for him which he isn't interested in meeting], it is not worth to stay with someone who makes me unhappy" shouldn't really be hard to make.

>>18625489


Yeah maybe I'm not in love with him anymore. I made this whole
Thread to see if people would say I should try
To make things work, Bc I was torn on whether I should try again.. But I don't think it's worth it. I'm tiredd of it all . I just wanna be happy
And be with someone who keeps
Their promises who says stuff I can believe and trust

OP, please I need to know how old you two are. The only guy that's ever treated me like this is my first 'boyfriend' I had when we were 16 that lasted like 3 months.

I mean honestly how can I be with someone who says stuff I can't even trust.. I don't believe half the things he says and that's his fault
For lying to me and disappointing me the majority of the time . I'm not a Fuckin doormat

My sister thinks it's a mind game and that he thinks I'm gonna text him and apologize and that when he realizes I'm not within three days she said he will contact me. Idrc either way . I just wanna be happy now

>>18625489
Being in love with someone isn't enough to stay in a relationship. Most people are capable of understanding that.

I did love my ex boyfriend, but he really disliked children and I want to have a bunch of them. We tried to compromise, we talked about it, then we decided to split up and move on with our lives.
I suffered greatly, was destroyed for over a year, then I moved on with my life and met my husband (who wants children).

Breaking up doesn't necessarily mean "I don't love you". It can also just mean "we're not a good match and we can't fix the differences we have".

>>18625502
Your sister is most likely 100% correct. That's what it sounds like to me too. If it turns out to be true then you'll need to be strong when he does text you. Because once he sees you're serious, he will likely apologize himself and attempt to get you back.

>>18625495
>And I am saying that it isn't an incredibly hard decision to make.
And it isn't incredibly easy to throw away years of effort and investment into a relationship with someone you love on a whim.

Of course relationships are about compatibility but you realize you're not compatible after trying to resolve issues time and again and not being able to, which is what happened to OP. And realizing that may take time. People have breaking points related to how dedicated they are to making the relationship work which is related to how much they love their partner. Of course if she didn't really give a shit about this guy it would have been an easy choice to break up and she wouldn't even have made this thread.
You say it's painful and that it's easy to do in the same sentence so you're not making much sense.

>>18625510

Part of me wants it to be true, wants him to apologize, wants to be with him and forgive him

Part of me wants to ignore him if he does contact me

Part of me doesn't care what happens either way

>>18625506
I never said it was enough so I don't know why you're trying to argue that point.

The thing I objected to is anon saying you can't love with someone if you also feel disappointed and hurt by them.

>>18625515
I understand that. It's a complex situation. What I would say is remember all the times he lied to you and dicked you around. People like that don't change, even if he does apologize it will just go back to how it was. I'm not saying this to sound cruel, I just know what people like him are like. You' do whatever you want to do.

>>18625512
Realising you aren't a good match and you should break up should be rather easy, going through with it can be not if you're very invested emotionally with the other person.

>you realize you're not compatible after trying to resolve issues time and again and not being able to
Which happened to OP many times, as she said.

OP is attention whoring. That's why she made the thread.

>>18625515
Whatever you do, DO NOT forgive him. DO NOT let him back in.

He will only come back and hurt you harder.

Even if he does apologize you know it can't be real anyway. If he had any kind of empathy or self-awareness he would not have dumped you over something so ridiculous in the first place.