Thread replies: 4
Thread images: 2
Thread images: 2
hey /adv/
this situation is a little weird and kinda hard to explain but i'm gonna try anyway
so basically i'm friends with this girl, and we've been friends for about 3 years atp. when we first met we were in a high school there was def some attraction but it was never pursued or acted upon. she graduated before me and went to a college far off on the other side of the country. we still talk and shit and everything's good and despite her being so far away, we're still really close.
fast forward a little bit to this spring, i'm now a senior in hs preparing to graduate and she's come to visit our hometown for a few months due to some health/personal issues. we hung out a lot while she was here and had a good time, but tbqh after some discussion she sorta convinced me that i should i apply to her college.
i'm not gonna lie, obviously i do sorta have feelings for this girl and that definitely played a major role in me applying to the college at first. they accepted me, and offered the largest scholarships possible for an out-of-state student, and as time passed i came to realize what a great opportunity this was for me. i had always wanted to go out of state and do something radical and different, and this college had everything academically that i wanted and gave me the perfect chance to do that. i wasn't very happy with any of my other choices, so i accepted their offer and am due to leave in a month for this college.
>>
>>18623272
cont.
but the fact that i have these feelings for her bothers me. even though now i know that i love this college and it's where i would want to go even if she weren't there at all, i feel a little ashamed for applying over my silly, teenage feelings for her at first. i don't want to look back on this in 10 years and feel like i made a stupid, rash decision over something so stupid and regret going there at all, that idea really makes me anxious. and i don't want to get over there and have our relationship affected over this and i don't want to come off as a creep and i don't want to intrude on her future relationships or anything, but these feelings are still here and idk what to do.
all i know to try to force these feelings away is to either distance myself from her or cut her off totally, but that would be a really shitty thing to do and i'm not into it. i just don't know how to deal with it man. this should be like a great, spirit-lifting experience, but instead i just have all this anxiety over this girl who also lives up there. i don't really think she's into me and i don't plan on actively pursuing anything romantic while i'm going to school up there and i'm totally happy with being friends, but i just feel so WEIRD about it. i'm always a little embarrassed when i tell people or people realize that she also went to this school even though i know i shouldn't be. idk how to deal with my own idiocy, and i guess i just needed to vent. hit me with some advice if anyone was actually strong-willed enough to read through all this shit.
>>
<bump>
>>
I was in a very similar situation years ago and completely fucked shit up. My advice is:
1) Don't lie to yourself. There are many, many colleges, yet you choose the one she's in. College is long and you should go to a college that makes you comfortable in the best way, leaving girlfriends aside. Imagine you'd never met her. Would you still have met this college? Would you have chosen another one? Are you ready to be happy in this college with literally 0 contact from her?
2) You seem very confused about your relationship. You like her, but at the same time say you don't want anything romantic. Don't lie to yourself, everyone wants something romantic with the person they like. It's not bad to have feelings for someone. However, keep in mind that she might not have these feelings for you, despite having hung out and having talked.
3) I understand how emotional people can get sometimes, but it is a very important moment to ask yourself what this girl means to you. Has she confessed her feelings to you? What if she doesn't even like you to begin with? Imagine she friendzones you when you're on the third month of college. Would you be able to get over it? Also imagine she starts banging hotter dudes on the city and you find out. How would it affect you?
4) There are many girls in many colleges. She is unique, like everyone else, but not special. Oneitis is terrible.
5) If you are sure she likes you and still wish to go forward with your decision, ask her on a date before applying to her college. Try to become his bf and get closer to her. If she acts distant it's time to drop the feelings and aim for something else.
Thread posts: 4
Thread images: 2
Thread images: 2