Are girls with daddy issues worth saving, or should I just leave

>>18622712
I dont know. In year 4 of a realtionship with someone who lost her dad at age 8ish. She acts all strong and tough and shit, but at any sign of me leaving or having desires with ANYthing other than her, she starts going batshit about how she doesn't know how to process loss and its all because of her dad dying and its all hopeless and spiral out of control we go.

The last 6 months have been very rough. I have been trying to say that this relationship is not the best fit for me, has nothing to do with her or what she is or is not, but my heart is not with her or our relationship, but each mention of this brings about an even greater explosion of helplessness. I feel entirely trapped in my own life and I hate the options I am presented with:

Stay with her, indefinately, or until she straightens herself out and can stand strong on her own. At which point she wont need me.

Leave her, and risk she spirals further. Being the one to knowingly put her in a position of pain when I know I have (at least somewhat) of a medicine.

Feels fucked m8

>>18622739
Glad to see someone gets this.

Damn, a really miserable situation.

>>18622712
>What I'm asking is, is there a way to help girls like that by dating them temporarily?
i don't think this is how it works, my dude. you can't pull someone out of the dirt and then be on your merry way, expecting them to have learned a valuable life lesson about coping with their significant other leaving. i'm not implying that you need to stick around, but maybe you should tell her now that you don't plan on this relationship going very far.

>>18622769
I already did, and she said she fully understood that, but deep in her eyes, I see this hope that I might stick around. The way she looks at me... Like the other anon said, it's like she sees me as a medicine for all her ails.

>>18622779
i mean, there's not really much else you can do. you already told her up front what the deal is. you're not responsible for her life being bad now and you aren't responsible for it later when you guys do go separate ways.

>>18622785
But then it just feels like I'm just using her for my needs, albeit being more honest about my intentions.

Then again, it's not like she didn't have the options of refusing the deal I proposed...

>worth saving
No. But worth fucking.

My mom has daddy issues and it's awful don't do it.

>>18622791
are you just using her as a fucktoy? if not, then it's not like she isn't getting something out of the relationship

>>18622809
Sex is part of the deal.
But we also talk, and I help her figure shit out in-between fucking sessions. Seems to work so far.

>>18622815
you're just someone for her to confide in that also fucks her, it's not really a bad deal for either of you if that's what she needs right now. i've done it before and it sucks to end the relationship after it's done running its course, but that's life.

>>18622739
Dude you are getting manipulated by that bitch
Run even if she threatens suicide

My ex had daddy issues.
She seemed very nice and funny at first, but she was an extremely emotionally dependent attention whore who cheated on me as soon as I stopped giving her enough attention.
It wasn't worth it, I should have just fucked her and left.

>>18622712
She don't want to be saved, and you can't save her OP. That's just a retarded complex guys have. She needs to find her own happiness. Eventually she needs to accept her situation and learn to live with it independently. Most women also aren't helpless dames either, on some level they're aware of what you're feeling and know how to manipulate you.
>>18622739
That's called emotional blackmail. Relationships are not supposed to stress you out. You can't stay with someone emotionally draining like that indefinitely, you'll always be worried about their emotional well-being. It's not your fault if she spirals further Anonymous. I think you want someone who is emotionally dependent on you, and she knows that you're unhappy, but she can keep you around by guilting you about her poor old dad. The fact is it's been four years and she hasn't gotten better. If you really feel trapped it might be for the best if you give her an ultimatum or break off the relationship. Whatever happens afterwards isn't your fault but the most you can do is sit her down, have an honest, transparent discussion about how your relationship is negatively impacting you. She's used to crying to get her way, and she'll continue doing it if you enable her. Good luck.

>>18622980
There is much love in this thread, thanks guys.

OP anon, i know that look. Its burned into my memory. It haunts me and pains me, but also gives a pang of "holy shit, someone needs me?". I feel like im toying with her by not ending it all, but every conversation that i bring it up makes it feel like im smashing my own life apart and a part of me want to just settle and die inside, like my dad.

>>18623018
She is holding you back, and you are enabling her to be this way. Something has to change, but you can't help her on your own. She needs to cope with her own issues on her own or through the help of a professional. Otherwise you might have to break it off even though it's difficult it might be best for the both of you

>>18622712
I say stick around her for a short bit and see if you are making a difference. getting her to see that life is ok.
help her.
fuck her.
leave her in a better place then introduce her to tinder so she can bloom into the amazing slut she needs to be.

>>18622795
This, cum rag her and move on.

>>18622712
No but they make for pretty good fucks

Rule of thumb
If you have to "save" someone it's absolutely not worth it

>>18622712
Lets see. Men that grow up without a daddy become addicts, gang bangers, rapist, wife beaters and end up in prison while women that grow up without a daddy only become whores. To me the man is so much worse so why doesn't any one complain about the men?

>>18622712
Daddy issues is a very unspecific term, what exactly is her issue? Does she even want to get rid of them? Did you tell her that she seems to have daddy issues?

>>18624331
>why doesn't any one complain about the men?

Because this is OP's thread about his particular problem and people who've gone through similar stuff commiserating and sharing advice.

Also, really? You've never heard anyone complain about drug addiction, gang violence, rape, domestic abuse?

If you want to help her, try to get her into some kind of counselling or a support group.
What about her friends? Does she have many close, reliable and emotionally stable people other than you? If not then maybe try to get her out somewhere where she can make some.

Get the hell out of there, man!

>>18624768
But no one jumps right in and says oh than anon has daddy issues and irredeemable and they consider a woman being promiscuous far worse

If you don't want to be with her, leave. You aren't helping her by reinforcing abandonment issues, the longer you stay the worse it will be for her. You don't have to hurt her more with the details of why, you just have to be honest and say you don't see a future together.

>>18622712
You can't "save" people. People save themselves. You can help them out, you can be there for them, but someone who doesn't want to get stable and in a healthy place mentally will never get there.

If you don't want to stay with her long term, don't pretend you want to. Leave now and move on with your life.
She'll be sad, it will suck, but you're not a charity and you don't have to fix people.

Life isn't a disney movie and you're not Marry Poppins. You don't care enough about her to stay in her life, and that's fine, but you need to get real. Fixing someone's emotional issues takes time and a lot of effort that requires actual love and patience from both people. It might be sunshine and rainbows for a little while and you might even have fun playing the hero, but at some point, you will get bored and the frustration of dealing with her issues will outweigh whatever sexual or emotional favors she's willing to offer. Leave her and let her figure shit out on her own.

>>18622739
You are me but I'm only 1 year in. She fucking gave me an out, too. Our last fight she told me I deserved better and oughta scoot. Fucking stuck with it. I think I made it worse because she's genuinely getting better but now obviously more attached to me. But I'm just not feeling any love for her. Just pity. If I left now I know woth 100% certainty that the progress she's made with family and friends would be undone. Her newfound confidence would take such a hit.