How do you make friends with people who take self-care seriously?

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How do you make friends with people who take self-care seriously? Who see their level of fitness, health, and well being a PRIORITY?

I've been a door mat for a lot, if not most, of my adult life. For the first half of my 20's I got roped in with a few groups of people with unhealthy and borderline toxic lifestyles. This back half has been me systematically recognizing how I am being negatively affected and who/where this negativity stems - and removing it.

However, now I"m pretty close to friendless, my romantic relationship is falling apart, my body is showing the 10 years of living a life chasing death instead of life, and I am generally in the dumps. In my experience attempting to make connections with fit, healthy, AMBITIOUS people I have been shamed for letting myself get to this point in life, when what I crave is something along the lines of "little homie I can help / we can go through this together". I'd like to be seen as an equal, a fellow human wanting to live a healthy life, not the token alcoholic that the group keeps around to make themselves feel better that they made it to 30 without ever succumbing to illness.

I don't really have a father figure, and have never had any real male, successful male, role models to show me what good healthy behavior is. I dont know if I"m looking for a Mentor, a brother, a friend, or what.