>be 16 >date this dude and immediately hit it off >not

>now here i am about to start school which will be a 4 year journey
>totally confused and uncomfortable about where im at in life
>lonely af
>every shower and every sleep of every fucking day includes crying
>ive made the biggest mistake of my life
>but id never had to do anything like this before
>timemachine.png
I was naive and didnt know how to navigate that type of topic and went about it all the wrong way. Now hes already left. We text now and then but hes told me how he thinks its too soon to talk to eachother often, although he likes hearing from me, he said. Im literally JUST starting school which means i will be locked in for the next 4 years. I never thought he wouldnt be alongside me for this part of life. Im willing to be long distance. I dont give a fuck about other guys, i can handle phone calls and video dates and visits to eachother a couple times a year. I can do whatever it takes. But i think he has forced himself to move on from me. When i never wanted this like this. I regret ever doing this. Please please help. Ive had friends share stories of those who were in long term relationships and had separated for years and reunited. Am i foolish for daydreaming of this outcome?

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The most important thing to do to win an ex back is to improve yourself. This means focus on school and get in better shape. Don't think of this as permanent, just a temporary break up. Secondly don't tell him you're improving, let it be a surprise and wait a few months before you show off your accomplishments and new body. Tell him how you aced your classes and loss 30 pounds.

I know this is hard, my fiance left me a month ago and I was a mess. She made the world for me and I know that every moment is agonizingly slow, but it gets better. You have to focus on yourself. focus on why the problems happened and learn from them and most importantly don't beg. Cut contact for this semester and then out of the blue send him an email about something crazy happened. Like, how lightning struck near your car, hell make something up if you have too. I know it's hard, it was so hard when she left me, but you have to rebuild yourself for the person you love to make it work.

Move on, OP

You're said you're each others first, so this is especially hard for you to realise, but he will not be the only person that makes you feel this way. You made the right decision, when you realised the relationship is heading for a crash.
>literally if he had said half of this beforehand i wouldve never had "the talk" with him
but he didn't. Only your "threat" of a break-up made him panic and apologize.
Don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy.
I know you're sad and it's tough, but you'll get through it. Starting school is perfect for your situation, you get to make new friends. Try to do fun things and grow as a person. Not for him, but for yourself. You'll be better off in the end.

>>18621439
Very solid advice, thank you for taking the time to read my story and share your perspective. Glad im not alone.

>>18621439
This is true, but also mentally. What were your political differences? If you can synthesis your thoughts and his thoughts you can be happy.

>>18621199
>literally if he had said half of this beforehand i wouldve never had "the talk" with him
Have an interesting historical fact, during the decline of the western Roman empire the leadership was often shockingly complacent in response to the deep crises they were facing. This was largely due to the fact that no one could conceive of a world without the empire. Rome was over 1000 years old, it couldn't possibly fall. I wonder if your bf felt the same way about your relationship. If you took him back now do you think things would be different?

>>18623191
Basically we used to both be very liberal/progressive and over time he did a complete 180. I felt that i tried to at least repsect his opinions as his but that he didnt do that of mine. This is something he sincerely apologized for and made me really wish it hadnt come to this for us to have that talk. I wish i had tried to make up with him right there and then but i was too emotional.

>>18623257
That is actually an oddly spot on example to use. I honestly do. I hope for the best. Its the only thing keeping me going is that at the end this will all be worth it and we'll eventually work out.

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>ruin your high school sweetheart romantic relationship all because you couldn't handle a fucking election.

You did him a favor desu. Stay away from him and become the crazy cat lady you were destined to be.

>>18621199
So all this dude had to say was sorry and you'd be A-ok and all that time you hated him and were ready to drop him just washed away? Fuck off. This is why he can't trust you.

He offers to move away and be with his buddy who is divorcing?
Yeah him and his buddy are going to smash every chick they can together. He was already over you.

>>18623861
Make us a favor and kys desu

>>18621199
What did you do all these years? You should have seen this coming, it happens to everyone, you should have figured this out before it happened.

Keeping a relationship is always something you will have to work on, and truly understanding each other is a goal that a life time is not long enough for. Don't ever take it for granted or stay together because you are lazy or don't want to be alone.

What was the real reason for breaking up? What was the thing you two together couldn't overcome? Not wanting to?

>>18621199
>he offers the idea of moving there to help him out
What?
This makes zero sense
Divorce is pretty personal and mostly emotional, short of giving him a place to stay there's not much one can do to help, and he can live with literally anybody else if that's what he needs

He's bullshitting you anon

>>18621199
>if thats the case, staying together isnt an option because it simply hasnt been working and we need change to fix it
>this breaks my heart because it was never my intention to end everything permanently
Choose one and only one

You can discuss things and make change without breaking up
It's called communication