How do I convince my gf to get rid of her tattoos? It's

Then dont propose to her. You obviously dont love her if art that makes her happy is preventing you. Grow the fuck up.

>>18610742
Ok thanks for your input :)

>>18610742
t. triggered numale.

Just drop subtle hints that you want her to get them removed. Most people are pretty protective about their body doodles so tread lightly. You're trying to put the idea in her head and make her do it on her own terms.

When push comes to shove and she's asking you why you haven't proposed to her yet, just tell her the truth. If she loves you, she'll ditch the ink for you and ya'll live happily ever after. If she refuses then well you dump her and date a girl that doesn't have tattoos so you can avoid this problem next time.

My question is why did you date a girl with tattoos if you know you hate them? You kind of shot yourself in the foot here.

>>18610750
> :)
You could try suicide.

>>18610736
I hate tattoos and wonder did she have the tattoos when you met her or got them during your relationship? For me if she had them I wouldn't go there and if she started marking it up I would have exited the relationship and sure as shit wouldn't marry her. In my social and professional circle it would embarrass the hell out of me and seen as low class.

No way you can convince someone to remove tattoos, they have to want to on their own. Until that time they will defend their ink vigorously.

You can't make tattoos truly "disappear." There will always be a difference between skin where the tattoo was and everywhere else.

Unless technology has gotten better nowadays, you'll always be reminded she had tattoos.

could it be a compatibility issue? people don't often get tattoos without some serious thought, and they're probably of major significance to her. I would honestly say it might be worth calling this whole relationship into question, or at least sit her down and talk about how you feel and ask her how she feels about how you feel

>>18610838
I almost agree anon. The only caveat is the person that gets a tattoo on impulse but they usually are quick to regret it and hide it and do not add to the collection. This person OP would not have to convince because they would be already trying to have it removed.

>>18610774
I'll try this I guess, I got nothing to lose.
>why did you date a girl with tattoos if you know you hate them?
It's a long story. Started dating her because I wanted to get my dick wet and she was playing the whole "I don't do flings". As time went on, I came around to liking everything about her (besides her tattoos). We've been dating for nearly 3 years now, longest relationship for the both of us.
>>18610798
;) ;) ;)
>>18610808
She had them before we started dating. I didn't intend to make things serious with her at first, but after a few dates I found out things about her that I have never found in a girl before. I played myself and now I caught feelings for her.
>No way you can convince someone
I don't believe in that philosophy.
>>18610831
I've read a bit on tattoo removal. The best results are for people with very pale skin and black ink tattoos (which is exactly her situation). Regardless, a scar would not bother me at all.
>>18610838
>>18610845
>compatibility issue
Not at all. I seriously love the girl and she's literally marriage material. Same goes for her as far as I can tell, she's deathly in love with me. We have literally the same views on everything, with the exception of tattoos.
>they're probably of major significance to her
They really aren't. She had some alt friends that are extremely tatted and they pushed her to get some before I met her. She made up half assed reasons for each one, but she seems to see them more as a fashion accessory the way she talks about them.
She talked about getting another tattoo a while back. I told her she shouldn't get anymore and she agreed with me and immediately changed her mind, promised me she won't get anymore tattoos. She really seems to respect my opinion on things, and I have unintentionally got her to do things simply because I've stated my views on subjects. Though, I think she might just be very easily influenced by those she surrounds herself with, especially if they mean something.

>>18610736
Where are the tattoos and how big?

>>18611047
would she react badly if you explained and asked her straight up?

>>18611047
>I don't believe in that philosophy
You don't? Then why haven't you already told her to have them removed? You said she got them because her friends influenced her as part of the group. Gonna guess here that she is still part of the group and the tattoos her admission fee and despite you not having any if she has them removed she can no longer be part of that group. You will have to convince her that you are more important than her friends and group. You have been successful in stopping her from adding to her collection but the peer pressure is still there. Point is this is larger than ink on skin it is part of her social identity.

>>18611047
>We have literally the same views on everything, with the exception of tattoos.

Bullshit, you have to disagree on more stuff. And that's good. You can't marry a clone of yourself, you'll disagree on certain topics.

Now ask yourself: are these tattoos enough to justify losing someone you describe like this?:

>I seriously love the girl and she's literally marriage material.

To me, it seems there's some other reason to not propose and you are hiding behind the tattoo issue.

>>18611118
>it seems there's some other reason to not propose and you are hiding behind the tattoo issue
I agree anon, there is something else here but OP is not forthcoming though I understand he doesn't like the tattoos. Perhaps the tattoos are a permanent reminder of her past.

>>18611085
One on her thigh, about as big as the picture I posted. Then 3 small ones on her foot, her forearm, and on the back of her neck.
>>18611099
Maybe, maybe not. Sometimes she'll react emotionally and sometimes she'll be completely composed on the same topic but on a different day.
>>18611102
>Then why haven't you already told her to have them removed?
Fear I guess? I'm envisioning the worst possible outcomes here.
>the tattoos her admission fee and despite you not having any if she has them removed she can no longer be part of that group
I kinda doubt that's the case. The real culprit behind the pressuring is already long out of her life and the only friend she has now is rather easy going and doesn't care what she does with herself. Though, convincing her of my importance would be a step in the right direction, if I haven't already established that.
>>18611118
>Bullshit, you have to disagree on more stuff
Everything I consider important, we agree on. Like yeah, she loves animals and I couldn't give less of a shit about them and would rather never have pets, I guess that's something we don't see eye to eye on but it's not something I consider important. What else? She uses apple products and I don't?
>are these tattoos enough to justify losing someone you describe like this
Yes and no? I'm not trying to be irrational here, I understand what I have going here is a good thing and I won't find another girl like her again.
> it seems there's some other reason to not propose and you are hiding behind the tattoo issue
Like what, the animal issue? Mate, I will get a dog and cat if it means winning her over. Her tattoos are literally the only reason I'm making a fuss in the first place. I don't want the mother of my children to have blackened shit stained on her skin.
>>18611150
You too? What are you guys trying to psychoanalyze here? I couldn't be more blunt about my thoughts right now if I tried.

>>18611168
>I don't want the mother of my children to have blackened shit stained on her skin.

Have you two talked about kids yet?

>>18611178
Yes. We both want kids. 3-4 of the fuckers.

>>18611183

And why would a tattooed mother be bad for them?

>>18611168
>The real culprit behind the pressuring is already long out of her life
Who was this person that had her number?

>>18611168
>I couldn't be more blunt about my thoughts right now if I tried
Work with us here OP. The reason we use conjecture is because all of this doesn't really add up. I don't like tattoos and wouldn't even begin a relationship with a girl that had them but I also understand it wasn't your intent to fall in love. I also realize being in love is not all it takes when choosing your life partner and where you are now and everything matters so the root cause is very important.

>>18611190
Encourages the kids to get tattoos when they grow up? Gives off the wrong impressions about her among their peers?
It's a social status thing for me as well. I don't have tattoos, it would look stupid for me to have a wife with tattoos.
>>18611200
Some girl she used to hang out with. It got to a point both her and her current friend got tired of her retardation and stopped hanging out with her.
>>18611212
I'm not trying to hide anything here, I don't know why it's so out of the ordinary that I don't want a wife with tattoos? Like right now, the tattoos aren't really a problem because she's merely my girlfriend and it can end at anytime for any little unforeseen reason (though if it were up to me, she'd be getting them removed right now). Whereas marriage is a forever thing, especially if we're having kids. It feels wrong for my wife to be inked and for me to not have any.

>>18611227
>I don't have tattoos, it would look stupid for me to have a wife with tattoos.

Not really. She is her own person and you are your own person. I think people get that you two can do different things.

>Encourages the kids to get tattoos when they grow up?

And why is it bad? She has tattoos and she is an excellent person. Why would it b bad if your kids decide to do it too?

>Gives off the wrong impressions about her among their peers?

What impression? That she is a person that would get tattoos? Because she is. I don't think a flower on her thigh will make her look like a felon. What kind of impression does she give off?

By the way, that last one is the only real issue here. I get that some people don't like tattoos and might react badly to them. But come on, how old are you? People now in their 40's are sporting tattoos. They are not as taboo anymore.

I've had this for about 3 years now. I hate it, ever once I started to show it. People look at you different women thin ur a slut, men look at you and stereotype you. And it happens so often that you can't but wonder if maybe they r right. I do like ruff sex and I do feel extra sexy but I feel that every time I choose to show my tattoo I feel like I'm walking around holding some type of flashing light sign telling everyone I'm a guaranteed kinky slut and I have the seal on my tight to prove that.

File: IMAG0714.jpg (1MB, 1836x3264px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1836x3264px

>>18611250
This is it btw

>>18611240
>I think people get that you two can do different things.
It's not how others would see it as a mismatch, I feel as it is a mismatch. Especially considering how I feel that tattoos do not belong on women and only are acceptable on some men.
>Why would it b bad if your kids decide to do it too?
I already don't want my wife to have tattoos, why would I want my kids to have them too?
>People now in their 40's are sporting tattoos. They are not as taboo anymore.
If you're intention here is to try change my mind about tattoos, it's not going to work.

>>18611258
>If you're intention here is to try change my mind about tattoos

I know I can't change your mind. I'm just asking you "what's the problem?". Because so far all you have said is that you don't like them. Which is fine, you have the right to have your opinion. But realize that you are the one talking about kid and thinking about proposing to her. No one is forcing you.

If tattoos are such a deal breaker, then you'll have to move on, mate. But you don't even have reasons to say why tattoos are bad. That's why I think there is a deeper issue that you are avoiding.

>>18611272
>But realize that you are the one talking about kid and thinking about proposing to her. No one is forcing you.
I know that. I am completely aware that I can dump her and find another girl. But here's the thing; I don't want to do that.
>If tattoos are such a deal breaker, then you'll have to move on
I would, if this girl wasn't so perfect in every other respect.
>But you don't even have reasons to say why tattoos are bad.
All the reasons I listed aren't valid reasons?
>That's why I think there is a deeper issue that you are avoiding
The deeper issue is I love the girl, I want to marry her, but without her tattoos. I don't know what more I can tell you. You think I'm trying to hide some cuckold conspiracy here or something? I am legitimately confused by this constant accusation that I'm hiding shit from you.

>>18611287
>All the reasons I listed aren't valid reasons?

What reasons? That kids will get them too? That you don't have any so it looks "ridiculous"?

Those are not reasons, those are you saying "I don't like tattoos" over and over again. Those things are only a problem for you.

>You think I'm trying to hide some cuckold conspiracy here or something?

What? What do cuckholds have to do with anything? No, what I think is that you don't want to marry for some other reason. something is worrying you so you channel it through the tattoos. But you only talk about the tattoos, so I don't know what it could be.

>>18611252
god OP that is huge and cannot get my head around someone wanting one that big unless there were major plans for lots of additional ink

>>18611168
>One on her thigh, about as big as the picture I posted.

Absolutely disgusting. Legs are beautiful. Never understood why a woman would purposefully distract from their elegance with a blob of ink.

>>18611227
>Some girl she used to hang out with
So since this girl convinced her to get the tattoos her other friend must also have them so I wonder why your gf wanted another.

How much longer do you want to ride this out before making a real decision? I am with you and wouldn't marry a girl with a tattoo and I am married and you must be totally sure and this is not a minor issue but a deal breaker.

I wouldn't tell her to remove them or you will not marry her. I would begin to discuss the benefits of their removal, she could start with the smaller ones and with that you could see if she was willing and if she was committed to have them all removed eventually. Personally I don't think she will unless they are in a place she doesn't like or the art/design is bad. Does she ever try to cover them or are they proudly displayed?

>>18611301
They are a problem for me, that isn't valid?
What reasons would you deem as valid then? I'm genuinely curious because I don't think you think any reason is valid.
>something is worrying you so you channel it through the tattoos
Like what? Give me some examples because I'm perplexed as to what you think I'm hiding here. How am I supposed to know what to talk about when all you're doing is throwing baseless accusations? I'm only talking about tattoos because that's the only thing I have a problem with.
To me, it just sounds like you're getting defensive over the fact that I don't like tattoos, as if I'm telling you to get rid of your own tattoos (if you have any). Either you have advice on how to convince someone to get their tattoos removed (like some other anons have graciously chimed in to do) or you don't, and to me it seems like you don't have an answer to that question. I'm trying to work with you here man, but you're looking for information about me that don't exist.
>>18611305
Not me, that was another anon.

>>18611326
>They are a problem for me, that isn't valid?

Not when you skirt around and continually repeat that you "just don't like them" without providing context for your displeasure. I don't know what kind of advice you're looking for. Either shame her into laser removal or move the fuck on.

>>18611326
>They are a problem for me, that isn't valid?

That's a reason to dump her, not change her. You love her, and still you can't see past her tattoos. You are the one saying she is perfect for you. But the tattoos are too much? That's weird.

Also, you don't seem to have made any conssesion in this relationship. Because you "agree on everything". Can't you give her this one? Can't you let her decide how she looks?

>>18611168
>Maybe, maybe not. Sometimes she'll react emotionally and sometimes she'll be completely composed on the same topic but on a different day.
see if you can pick out a pattern. figure out what the variables are. trial run it on inconsequential stuff that'd hit similar buttons for her. work out when & why there's higher likelihood she'd maintain composure, which of those variables you can control for, and then bring it up whenever the right time next rolls around. there's no guarantee it'll go well. if it does, you'll get to wife the girl you love sans tats and with the reassurance that potentially touchy subjects can be broached and successfully resolved. plus later, when you two begin starting your family, already knowing how to effectively communicate with each other will save a lot of headaches.

>>18611323
It's the one I want off of her the most. In fact, if she only got that one removed I think I could cope. I can't even appreciate her legs without constantly fighting to ignore the shit stain on her thigh.
>>18611324
She likes tattoos, and as she explained to me before that the reason she got more is because "once you get one, you're gonna want to get more".
>How much longer do you want to ride this out before making a real decision?
I'm taking this one day at a time, I honestly don't know. Probably once I'm out of school and have a job, since I'll be in a comfortable position to start a family.
>I would begin to discuss the benefits of their removal
I have actually talked about tattoo removal with her, but out of context and not directed at her. She asked if I would ever get a tattoo, and I made a spiel about how there's nothing I'd want to get permanently inked on me that I wouldn't be sick of in a few years. It segued into tattoo removal, she started asking questions about it like "i heard it hurts worse?" "how effective is it?" and so on. Tied it off with "So if you ever decided to get your tattoos removed, you'd be a perfect candidate for it". It's about as far as I've gotten with suggesting tattoo removal with her. Though I don't think I made my intentions clear.
>Does she ever try to cover them or are they proudly displayed?
Ironically, they're always covered. Even in the heat of summer, she still wears capris and shorts long enough to cover her thigh tattoo.

>>18611326
There's a thread on /adv/ right now about a guy refusing to marry to his fiance because her breasts are too small. He wants to figure out a way to convince her to get implants, and is explicitly willing to purposefully make her insecure to do so.

I want you to think about that. Sounds pretty fucking crazy and despicable right? You're doing the same thing over your girlfriend's tattoos. You need to think about this, decide whether the person with the tattoos or the tattoos themselves are more important. Have a serious discussion with her about your feelings on this if it helps you, but don't demand or suggest she remove them. They're a part of her and it's not your business to try to force her to change something completely superficial for that. If your girlfriend demanded you get a tattoo or she'd leave you, you'd rightfully think she was far out of line. The issue isn't your lack of tattoos, and it's not your girlfriend having tattoos. It's your inability to look past the tattoos she has.

If it's a dealbreaker for you that's unfortunate, but that's all there is to it. There are people who are "perfect for you but..." and either you learn to see past that but or you find someone who suits you better. This is your hangup about tattoos. It's your problem. Don't make it hers.

>>18611374
>"once you get one, you're gonna want to get more"
yep and you and I know if you put a ring on at some point she will get another

>>18611365
I think I have an idea of her behavior patterns, and usually she'll be composed when her mind isn't preoccupied by other nonsense. I think what I can do is probe around the issue, and if I feel she's being level headed, I suppose I could ask her if she would get her tattoos removed. I'd have to do so in a way that doesn't get her thinking "it's me or the tattoos", but rather just see how she would feel about removing them.
Thanks for the advice anon, we do communicate well and if something like this can be resolved in a civil matter, it'll make it all that much better. Ultimately, if she refuses and tells me to fuck off, there's no helping it I guess.

>>18611374
>Ironically, they're always covered
Just when she's with you? What about when she's with all her tattooed friends or puttering around in public without you?

>>18611381
>I want you to think about that
Sounds like a valid desire. He's a boob man and he wants his fiance to get a boob job. My gf's brother in law convinced his wife (my gf's sister) to get breast enhancement as well.
Moreover though, there's a striking difference in your comparison that you're trying to shame me with here. You aren't born with tattoos, you put them there yourself. Boobs on the other hand are genetic, and suggesting breast augmentation is suggesting your genes aren't good enough. I'm gonna get on my high horse and say my desire to get my gf's tattoos removed is more justified than his desire for his fiance to get bigger tits.

>>18611395
All the time. Even with her friend (who she almost never sees due to distance). Her reasoning is that she likes to dress modestly and that she's "always cold".

>>18611384
Which is why I'd rather nip this in the bud now if we're going to get married.

>>18611374
I have to disagree I will not get another however, I ve been thinking about getting my nipples pierced

>>18611381
>If your girlfriend demanded you get a tattoo or she'd leave you, you'd rightfully think she was far out of line.
Didn't catch that one.
On the condition she got rid of all her tattoos, I would get a tattoo for her. I think it's completely fair that if she does something to please me, i should return the favor.

>>18611408
>You aren't born with tattoos, you put them there yourself.
I thought you might try to make that distinction. But that's not valid, it's still a permanent change that she made before you got with her. This is your girlfriend, she's your equal. It's not your place to try to force her or groom her into changing something like this. And it's not that other Anon's place to try to do so with his fiance.

You keep calling her tattoos shitstains, if you feel that strongly about it then you need to either come to terms with them, which seems unlikely, or break up. Your problems and your hangups are your own. Address them yourself instead of expecting your girlfriend to solve them for you.

>>18611428

What kind of change have you made for her so far?

If you can't get over some tattoos, just break up.

Or go see some shrink to see if they can do something about you pathological (as in, it destroys your otherwise perfect relationship) aversion to this form of art.

>>18611250
>>18611252
You are. It shows you have no respect for your body.

Men hate tattoos on girls, even prostitutes. It is degrading, it decreases your value. When I read reviews of girls, most people mention "too bad she has tattoos" even though they were already mentioned in previous reviews. Then the client doesn't want to hurt the girl, they write "she has a discrete tattoo". This is like saying "hey, it's not THAT bad".

You're a girl, so you might not read hentai. But please just look through sadpanda to see how men feel about tattoos. They are usually the final step of the mindbreak doujins where a pure girl gets corrupted.

>>18611331
>>18611344
>>18611431
you're holding op to your own standards rather than recognising his worldview doesn't match yours. that's why this is so confusing. he doesn't like tattoos on women. that's the reason the tattoos are bad. if your concern for his gf is indeed genuine then let her decide whether or not his desire is unreasonable.

>>18611428
>>18611470

Wouldn't that be a mismatch? AND a bad example for your kids? I'm using your/his own standards here.

>>18611431
Why is it so wrong to ask your significant other to do something that will please you? It just sounds like you're taking this whole thing very personally, which you shouldn't be doing my friend.
>>18611453
I've been more open about my feelings. I never was comfortable with sharing my feelings, but it's something she wanted. She wanted me to grow a beard, haven't shaved in all the time we've been together. Has also helped me improve my pattern coordination in clothing. Other shit I can't think of off the top of my head.
It's a two way street imho.

>>18611287
May I just interject and ask:

Your issue with tattoos, obviously your perception of yourself to the public is important and by the sounds of it, you wish she would feel that the right impression is important. You feel tattoos would leave a negative impression.

If you haven't vanished OP, what financial class does your family belong to and yourself?

Because if its snobbery/class related, I can kind of see where you are coming from. Tattoos to a lot of people of that background are just trashy. You love the person but don't want her to come across as trashy to others and not encourage your children to mark themselves with what you deem is "poor".

Would that be right?

>>18611477

Weird that the beard thing didn't come up when talking about stuff you didn't agree about...

>>1861146y
> no respect for your body
Nah, thats more like smoking and frolicking in the sun until burned.

Tattoos, makeup and so on are obviously a signal that somebody cares how their body looks. Doesn't mean its always my taste, but they do care.

> Men hate tattoos on girls, even prostitutes.
Nah, thats more of a thing for really bored christfags.

Men don't care much as long as it looks somewhat female and is cute enough.

>>18611497
Not him but for a certain type of people, or should I say social class (though this is changing somewhat), tattoos are showing pretty much what he said but also they lack long term perception. No class, no substance, impulsive and superficial. Worst case, trashy.

Is that objectively right? No. It's also not a view shared by many of the under 30s or even some below mid 30s. But many of the older people or indeed more "fancier" neighbourhoods, tattoos are still frowned upon as classless and gross.

>>18611489
We aren't rich, but I'd say pretty upper middle class. Both my parents hate them, and I likely developed my taste in part based on their influence.
Though I think you may be on to something about the whole poor thing. I don't want my kids taking the bus or shopping at thrift stores because that's for poor people.
>>18611492
Huh? I don't have a problem with beards. They can be shaved off anyway, it's not like it's permanent. Plus it hides my shitty chin so I can't complain.

>>18611470
I know he doesn't like tattoos. That's fine. But that's his problem and if he can't reconcile that with her having tattoos, it's his responsibility to break up.

>>18611477
Because it's specifically something you went into the relationship knowing and it's specifically a permanent feature. There's also another thread on /adv/ about a guy disgusted by his girlfriend's face, who he's only dating for her body. He can't stand kissing her and thinks her face is too boyish and wanted to know if he should marry her. If you're not attracted to her to the point of it being a deal breaker, and you went into the relationship knowing you weren't attracted to her, then that is your fault and your problem. If she'd got the tattoos without discussing it with you after you had already entered the relationship I'd be more sympathetic but that's not what happened. You have no one to blame but yourself for dating someone who has such a serious dealbreaker for you. Just like a woman who might date a man who is staunchly against children when she herself wants children, then try to change him down the line.

Compromise is all well and good, but this isn't compromise, it's "make a major change to your body/lifestyle to suit me and my tastes at your own expense or I will break up". And if that's the point the relationship reaches, it's time to break up.

>>18611506
>but I'd say pretty upper middle class

Perfect because I am of a similar position socially (sans the fiance or gf). Right. I can fully understand that now and I think a lot of people may not.

Working from that note, from what I am reading you think you're being blatant and clear to her about your feelings on her tattoos. If you are even 1/10th like my family and their friends, to us you are but not to her.

I am going to go out on a limb here and suggest you talk to her as you would normally, but say the following below

>I need to talk to you about something. I love you, but I need you to know that I don't like your tattoos. My family and I have always felt that they may give off the wrong impression to others and to us, public appearance was important. I know this may be hard for you to hear, but I would like you to get rid of them. To make it clear, this is up to you but I also want to let you know I don't like tattoos. Not at all. I think they give off the wrong impression and aren't suitable for us as partners

Of course work your way around the wording and all that but what do you think?

>>18611506
>I don't have a problem with beards.

Then it wasn't a concession.

>>18611518
Even her own parents would side with me on this issue. They have openly expressed their distaste for her tattoos.
>I need to talk to you about something. I love you, but I need you to know that I don't like your tattoos. My family and I have always felt that they may give off the wrong impression to others and to us, public appearance was important. I know this may be hard for you to hear, but I would like you to get rid of them. To make it clear, this is up to you but I also want to let you know I don't like tattoos. Not at all. I think they give off the wrong impression and aren't suitable for us as partners
I like the angle you're taking with this. This may or may not work, but I feel that at least I'd be fully expressing my position and not leaving out any details.

>>18611529
In the sense that people grow them. For me, I feel as if it makes me look less professional and have my doubts about how potential employers will view me, but it makes her happy so I'll stick it out for her.

>>18611531
Change as you see fit, I don't know the dynamic between you two but you should know the correct wording to adjust while simultaneously putting across your point.

Obviously be discreet enough that you don't set your bridge on fire, but clear enough like in the green text that you are making your feelings as clear as day.

>>18611537

Ok either you mind the beard, or you don't. Which one is it?

And you didn't reply to this one >>18611476

>>18611391
sounds like a plan. good luck, hope all goes well. and you're welcome but thank you too actually. i've a couple myself and am half considering getting them removed now. he mentioned very early on that he preferred girls not to have tattoos so he might quite like the idea. of course he'd then mentioned mine being small and not in your face weren't such a big deal so he might just laugh and pet my head and say don't be a dumbass instead. either way, worth looking into and talking it over to see what he thinks. hadn't ever even occurred to me before reading this thread.

>>18611546
I've gotten used to it. It took some getting used to at first and I still have moments where I want to hack it all off (especially in this heat). But she loves it, so I put up with it.
In regards to >>18611476
It's only a mismatch if the girl has tattoos and the male doesn't. Visa versa, it works because men can have tattoos and get away with it.
Likewise, if I had sons and I had a tattoo of my own, I would think it's fair that they were allowed the same grace. They are boys after all, they're allowed to have tattoos.
In a perfect world, I rather no one has tattoos. But if that were the only compromise available, I would take it.

>>18611569
>I've gotten used to it. It took some getting used to at first and I still have moments where I want to hack it all off (especially in this heat).

Something else you don't agree on! The more I ask, the more we see that it wasn't as perfect as you made us believe at first.

I would talk about the implied sexism in your follow up reply, but I know that triggers people online, so I don't know how to keep going.

>>18611500
> No class, no substance, impulsive and superficial. Worst case, trashy.
Also describes stuck-in-some-suburb/town Christfag poorfag to middle class that really has nothing else to do but get their minds and talk focused on how certainly AT LEAST that tattooed person and the burger flippers must still be below them.

> But many of the older people or indeed more "fancier" neighbourhoods, tattoos are still frowned upon as classless and gross.
If you have to write anyone off as classless and gross, make it these small-minded reactionary fools, lest this shit spreads and stops us from trying to do the best with all art that we've seen all across mankind.

>>18611542
I think my entire problem was that I wasn't sure how exactly to put into words my feelings in a clear matter, which this thread and your greentext has helped me come around to.
The girl loves me as I love her, I'm not out to hurt her, I think it'll all go over well if I tread as advised.

>>18611579
Lmao, are you seriously trying to insinuate something as mundane as a beard is an important issue to be on good terms about?
You're grasping at straws, and are visibly butthurt. Dial it down for your own health, I'm not asking you to get rid of your tattoos.

>>18611476
it may be, it may not. still up to her and not any of us though.

>>18611507
you always so easily willing to give up on things you value and hold dear?? compromise is vital, you're right on that much, but i'm curious as to why you advocate drawing such a hard line at any self-sacrifice. why so dogmatically rigid about that?

>>18611588

Hey, you are the one that wants to shave off, not me. You are allowed to have or stop having a beard, it's your face not hers.

>>18611594
Eh, I've come around to liking it :)

>>18611580
>poorfag

Upper middle class, full families, no divorces, all children put through university. Its a demograph which isn't very vocal here. I belong to a family who has done very well for themselves. To us, our friends and our neighbours, we all hate tattoos and none of them have any either.

Its become more acceptable among younger people but not the ones from families we were raised in.

>If you have to write anyone off as classless and gross, make it these small-minded reactionary fools, lest this shit spreads and stops us from trying to do the best with all art that we've seen all across mankind.

A naked human body looks beautiful without tarnishing it with meaningless symbols or ink marks. Art belongs on a canvas, a photograph or paper. It just looks so poorly on skin. Just because nearly half of young people have them, doesn't mean its good. Same with people who drink. Its popular, doesn't make it healthy or good.

I do agree its a perfect logic but to us its simply setting people to certain standards and expectations. Its superficial but to us its what works.

>>18611609
>>18611580

Imperfect logic*

>>18611598

That doesn't mean she will feel the same about the tattoos. But I guess you two can work out things even if you don't agree on everything. Good luck OP. I still think you are being a petty person, and I don't believe you about the beard (it only came up after we started telling you about concessions). But I wish both of you a good life, together or not.

>>18611590
>at any self-sacrifice.
It offers no betterment of the relationship- for instance it's not working through alcoholism, depression, communication issues and it's not something that changed after you entered the relationship- weight gain, getting tattoos/piercings in secret and coming home with them. You've chosen to ignore your feelings on the matter and get with her regardless. It's your personal taste against hers, and since you entered into the relationship knowing about them, she's been operating under the false pretense you're okay with a part of her you're disgusted by.

>you always so easily willing to give up on things you value and hold dear??
I wouldn't get into a relationship with someone who I had such strong reservations about in the first place. From everything you've written here in this thread, this is a you issue. It's a hang-up you have on tattoos. I feel identically about smoking as you do tattoos and for that reason I will never date someone who smokes. I think it's really low class, trashy, and not something I want to associate myself with. It smells bad and it has poor effects on health. It's disgusting and to me, seeing someone do it would make them unattractive. But I wouldn't go out and start dating a smoker, stick with them for years until I'm hopelessly in love, then demand they change afterwards. It would be me who was at fault for getting with them in the first place. And it would be my responsibility to get over it if I wanted to stay. Could I ask them to quit? Sure. But leading them on for so long if this was a dealbreaker would be my fault, and my responsibility to move past or leave them for.

>>18611609
Upper middle class as well and you don't see tattoos. It proves you are uncultured and low class. Even the servers in the restaurants we frequent must cover the tattoos with clothing or make up.

>>18611629
right. well first up i'm not op. >>18611365 and
>>18611470 if you want context to orient with. that sounds great on paper but love in practice tends to be a bit messier than love in theory. your approach sounds practical and you seem to have a damn good idea of what you want and don't want. i'm not knocking you here. i'm saying if, for instance, you met somebody a couple months after they'd quit smoking, fell for each other, and they picked up the habit again later on, you wouldn't know what the fuck to do either and would be feeling conflicted and wondering how to best go about trying to convince the one you loved to quit again and how to ensure it'd be for good this time. tattoo removal is clearly a major thing to ask from your perspective. are you assuming op's girl sees it exactly as you do and getting offended on her behalf? are you simply bewildered that op doesn't attach as much gravity to it as you do? or are you this intractable about anything that doesn't fit your "fix a broken personal issue" paradigm of what can count as self-sacrifice?