There is a mentality, a character trope, personality type, communication

i guess the term you're looking for is stupidity. it's fairly common and usually best handled with ignorance.
you can't help them. sorry to break it to you.

>>18608301

There's certainly stupid people and yeah, best strategy is to just let them be them and move on.

I don't know if the people (or the specific person that led me to post) are STUPID, but I don't think they really have a whole lot of self-awareness.

Both male and female varients of this mindset like to casually work in the fact that they 'are single, and are probably going to be for the rest of their life" - not with a foreveralone neckbeard air of pity, but a resigned yet positive "I am fat so I am single so I must move on with my life" logic. Whatever, yeah you are and we both know why but you aren't goign to bait me into saying it.

It gets really weird when the female type of these people start casually doing things that attractive people do to draw attention - kick off their shoes and swing their feet, lean forward to show their fat and leathery cleavage, hair flips, but give off a super intense vibe of "dont look at me anywhere but my eyes because i'm super uncomfortable with what i've become in the last 50 years"

>>18608439
it's desperation. they try to conmevt with SOMEBODY, but they fail for the same reason they are single and fat. we both know the reason.
ofc they are miserable and lonely sf. ofc they will try to bait you into making them feel even slightly desireable or likeable. but it's not your duty to ease their anxiety about getting old without havign been able to etablish a meaningfull human relationship. they have had enough time. the fact that a lt of people might have given them an easy time instead of being honest probably aided in constructing the reality they are now facing. basically, they never had to reconsider their ways or work on themselfes and now it might be too late.

>>18608462
Homie, we do know the reason. They let themselves go a long time ago. Its weird, they talk about letting themselves go with a sense of pride, but if you mention the ways in which you don't want to let yourself go they put you down for wasting time, doing something not fun, I dont know what it is.

A hard part for me is I feel that I have caved and given these people pity attention too much that I am just naturally interacting with them instead of people that are actually trying in life, that they are wearing off on me. Its terrifying, but its a slippery slope. The more I am around it the more it comes around me.

>>18608587
they never learned to endure something. they lived life on "i just do what feels good" terms. it's easy to get suked in by that way of viewing life. problem is that nothing worth having is going to get accomplished that way.
they think they are being progressive with their "fat and proud", "old, so what" attitude. deep down they know it's just an act to nt let the insecurity and fear show.

don't feed into their attitude but also don't think you can change them. that's their own responsibility. donmt waste your precious energy on trying to fix or help them. they don't really wsnt to change anything. if they would, they would have done that a long time ago.

why is it that ther are so many people around you who are like that? i mean, i know what you're getting at. they are everywhere... i'd still say it is worth it to actively try to find people who have more helpfull mindsets around you. because you're right; it rubs off.

>>18608604
Currently, I work front desk at a massage clinic. A couple of the therapists are health focused gals in their mid 20's to young 30's. A couple are women in their late 40's onwards living the lfie we are familiar with,

However, my work history the last few years has been increasingly front desk / reception. My resume is stacked against me, and the only places that I'm finding work are ones led /run by these kinds of women. Its been a solid 5 years since I've worked with a MAN, and I fucking dread that. I'm so out of touch, and its terrifying. We share a building with a small local construction firm with a slew of masculine and obviously driven men, and I have been getting looks from them that I"ve never experienced - a look of pity. That I am one of these people now. I don't know how to move away from it. My last job like this as soon as I caught wind that I was going down this patch I got up and walked out without saying a word. However, I didn't have any idea what to do and I just slipped back onto the slope..

>>18608604
> And yeah, they don't endure much. Can't stand the conversations where they talk about their issues sorting out $100 dispute with a storage facility like its the biggest problem America has dealt with. They talk about how colleagues mistyped someones name, or how someone caused $.15 worth of error, or some other small time shit, like fuck man. I gotta get myself around folk that give a shit about themselves, the world around them, the future of their fellow man...but I've spent so much time, even just a few short years is too long, not shoving myself into conflict and enduring it that I don't know where to begin or who to talk to do any of it with.

Thanks for responding though my dude

Take one for the team and fuck them so theyll shut up for the rest of us. Side effect youll no longer be an incel

>>18608271
Iktf. It seems they don't care about what your opinion is, they don't care what goes on in your world, the point of the interaction is that they can tell you stuff. They don't search a conversation, a dialogue where two people add thoughts together, they just want to tell stuff to someone. They tell and tell and tell and you listen and add comments that they just use to fuel their monologue until you don't give a damn anymore.

I don't think it's specifically a female problem, as a guy I have a lot more male then female friends, so I see some dudes guilty of this.