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Hey, /adv/! I keep having awful dreams. Not awful as in inherently

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Hey, /adv/! I keep having awful dreams. Not awful as in inherently spooky or scary, but EXACTLY how it feels to be extremely mad and sad at the same time. These dreams are always about my younger sister, and they all have to do with how much "we" hate one another. I say the worst things to her in those dreams. I spend most of the time physically fighting with her. I wouldn't mind if it was just punches, but it skips that and goes straight into trying to dig my hands under her bones so I can pull them up and snap them. I swear I can feel all the motions as if it was real, and I wake up to a sore and extremely uncomfortable body. My dreams are very vivid and haunting.

Now, I know where these dreams are coming from. I was a victim of horrific sibling abuse and have never been able to really "get over" the fact my siblings don't want a relationship with me (especially my sister). I don't presently feel like it's a huge issue in my life at this point because I'm away from home and have improved my experience tenfold because of it, but these dreams keep on coming even without me actively dwelling on the past.

How can I sleep without having these dreams? Why do they keep coming back? If anyone has been in a similar situation, please share!

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