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How do I stop blaming myself and kicking myself every time things

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This has been something I've had a problem with since 2012 with relationships or family or friends or work. I'm very quick to put myself down unnecessarily and all it does is annoys everyone around me and it helps nothing. For example, after a misunderstanding between the gf and I I'll always spit something like "I'm sorry I'm so hard to be with sometimes." She'll just say "idk why you're putting yourself down desu" and I don't know either, it's just a natural reaction. How do I unlearn this? I've got Avoidant Personality Disorder mixed with low self esteem(despite that i've been moving up and improving with my life) like this just doesn't go away.

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