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Anonymous
Need Crucial Advice , please reply ( Though majority will ignore still ) 2017-08-09 03:22:55 Post No. 18604493
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Need Crucial Advice , please reply ( Though majority will ignore still ) 2017-08-09 03:22:55 Post No. 18604493
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Need Crucial Advice , please reply ( Though majority will ignore still )
Anonymous
2017-08-09 03:22:55
Post No. 18604493
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Okay , so I'm from India . Currently studying Information Technology . I'm extremely bipolar (II) and I become depressed from little things .Many of you will relate with me as you read further. I have knowledge of diverse topics as I locked myself in room for over 7-8 years and browsed articles after articles in Internet . I sacrificed the girl whom I loved utmost to my best friend whom I loved more because he loved the same girl . I lost them both . They never talked to me anymore .I don't have any friends with whom I can share things on a deep level . When I try to talk to someone , I feel like Why would anyone listen to me ? What's their benefit ? I always feel like this while doing anything .
Okay so my problem is that , I know nothing has any purpose and Quoting Stephen Hawking , " Why Does Anything Exist , Instead of Nothing ?" Nothing exists except our Consciousness . So , I know nothing has any purpose and we are all living and dead at the same time .We're all Schrodinger's Cat . Every grave that is buried , we think are forever but Sun will consume it one day. I find no reason to live and it's more disturbing that all the knowledge I gained in 19 years of my life , is for nothing .
I can't talk to people normally , If I see someone smile I look at them and think about how their facial muscles are working and doing this . I see faults in everything including myself . I can't approach someone and talk because I think She/he will judge me without knowing me . I never had proper girlfriend , but went on date. couple of times and get pretty bored easily because I find no on like me , who thinks like me . Those who do just pretends . I have no emotions except I burst out of temper occasionally .And in Internet I have a feeling to no clicking any website because I don’t to give anyone money . Is it because of Insecurities ?As a whole I get very tensed with any thing if it goes out of perfection and always want to remain locked in a room and want nothing changes
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I don’t want to travel the world . I just want to die for no reason . Chester ended his life tho he had everything . But very few people will get how depression actually feels like . Once you know the real things , see Junko Furuta’s rape case and other extreme things little things cease to bother you . Need guidance of anything helpful . I’m clueless .
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I have deep knowledge of certain things as I browsed a lot of things in the past year . Some things that I know well - Murder Cases both normal and infamous ( I know almost all unique murder cases around the globe ), Unsolved puzzles and murder cases ( I tried to decode tamam shud case on my own though no results ) , Cicada 3301 I still solve the liber primus , I dive deep into deep web almost every week and there are many things that I saw . I have deep knowledge of Egyptian History , Thelema , Veda , Greek Mythology . I have deep knowledge in Astrophysics , Drugs and its usage . I know almost everykind of execution methods , both medieval and modern and I studied it's effects on Human body and Social Fabric and wrote detailed thesis on my diary . I love coding and still learning . And I have obtained the capability to lucid dream on my own . /x/ shit right ? Naah I'm just telling these things so the kind guy who will give solution to my problem can know what my Thinking is like . I am sure there are many guys with whom I share common interest .
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I have a tendency to not click a youtube video or an article because I feel that I will give them money for my click . Is it normal ?
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Dude . chill . You are highly intelligent and an ubermensch . You belong to the top cream layer of human beings . You have a special purpose .
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I will suggest you to not care about what other people thinks about you . And Ya I can relate so much to you . Never seen such a good post in my all these years on 4chan
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Depression is real mate . I'm bipolar too and went through similar situations in past . Just hold on and focus on your career . Be the next google CEO . You can do it .
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>>18604493
It's normal OP, you have potential but are waisting it. You need to experience and learn from it
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>>18604493
Step away from the computer and get out of your own head. (You may need professional help doing both things) You have spent so long talking to nobody but yourself that you've talked yourself into philosophical dead ends.
Stop thinking and do something. Anything. Go to a gym. Take up a hobby. Learn to dance. Get a job. Just do something that forces to to be outer-related rather than inner, if only for a few hours a day.
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