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this is long but I appreciate you reading.
I have a really weird emotional cycling problem. Sometimes, for even weeks at a time, I feel on top of the world, and the rest of the time I feel ego shattered depressed. I don't know when it started, I was first able to talk about it 2 years ago but it might've been going on for sometime before that when I just considered myself depressed.
Despite this I still have ambitions in life, so I try really hard to deal with this. Carefully not overextending myself and telling myself I can maintain this when I'm on a high, and when I'm on a low making sure to say something recognizable as the "happy" me and generally policing myself from fucking my whole life up.
But this time I'm trying especially hard not to let the bad feelings throw me off my game. For weeks now I've been slipping, feeling shaky and beginning to slur my words and screw up conversations, but I can't even tell anyone, even my parents, that I don't believe in myself right now, so I'm around the clock being fake nice to everyone and people are catching on. Co-workers I was establishing relationships with I think are noticing my difficulty socializing, I just try to say the right things until it's over. People who seemed to like me, I'm now avoiding because it's too much pressure to try and live up to the image I built with them.
Oh and my parents? I've always been honest with them, my genuine self, and I think they too are seeing that I'm faking it around them. They do not know I have these problems, they have enough kids and busy enough lives that I've always been able to fly under the radar. I take heavy advantage of them not knowing me very well.
I understand this may seem like a rather obvious mental illness (no I am not seeking treatment) but I'm just wondering what ways you guys think I could interact better with people during this time. I don't need friends but I can't lose having the respect of being a regular person. I know that sounds bad lol.
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Untreated bipolar supposedly gets worse with time. You may want to google that.
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>>18603662
Idk that could certainly be true, I can see it even, but I'm not going to take drugs and I'm not going to tell my problems to someone who's going to write them down because like I said, I have ambitions in life. so unfortunately cannot get therapy. Also I do google, and people with bpd are basically screwed for life.
Please help /adv/, I have a future with this company as a leader, if I can just hold my shit together.
I'm not socially retarded or anything, I'm just asking ways I can make someone feel liked, welcome, okay with, and the general things we do to make interactions go well, when I'm super depressed and really not into it.
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bump...
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>>18603685
>ways I can make someone feel liked
People feel when you're not into it. They like genuine interest and empathy
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>>18603754
word, but I'm not making friends I'm managing these co-workers. I'm actually really good at being empathetic and encouraging their success, I just don't want them to think I hate them, or that I think I'm better than them. We're all the same age.
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>>18603656
Put less stock in how things make you feel, it is not of paramount importance, relying on how you happen to feel makes you no more autonomous than a flag in the wind, it makes you weak, easily played and dependent.
Do and decide things without feeling or at least make that component of your experience of things secondary to what you think, decide with your thoughts, value your logical convictions and conclusions more than how/what you are feeling in the moment, stop letting this weakness dictate what you are and what you can and can not do.
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