How do you make sex as an asexual (woman) easier? I've been

hey

>>18601605
There's no such thing as asexuality. You're probably psychologically damaged.

>>18601653
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/asexual

>>18601674
If you don't have a sexual identity you're psychologically damaged, or you want to be recognized as some special prudent wallflower. If you have no genitals then you're asexual.

>>18601702
that's literally the fourth definition of it on the site I linked, I think you have autism.

>>18601605
You don't.

Find someone else who is asexual too.

>>18601706
I know, obviously you must have some kind of sexual identity otherwise you wouldn't be here asking for advice. Go see a doctor.

>>18601653
I know but I stil want a boyfriend.

>>18601702
I do have a sexual identity. I like men. I want men to like me.

>>18601710
Asexual men are unicorns. I'm too much of a hard sell to demand anything special.

>>18601720
That wasn't OP.

>>18601605
I would just do him favors if I were you. Lubing up for sex you don't want sounds pretty rough.

>>18601749
It feels just as bad and wastes just as much of my time no matter what hole he uses, and he'dstill be frustrated about never getting the main course.

All I want to know is if lube is enough.

>>18601720
Now that the shitposter is out of the way ...

OP, do you have a problem with dryness or vaginal clenching? Lube will help with dryness, but muscle relaxants won't stop the PC muscle from clenching.

I dated a woman that was so scared of pregnancy that it was impossible to enter her. She would clench so tightly, I could hardly finger her. A doctor may prescribe anxiety pills, but do you really want to be zonked out every time you have sex?

Btw, where I live, having sex with a drunk to blackout person is legally rape.

You can try to find asexual guys. They are out there. Just include in a dating profile that you're asexual, and what you want.

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44KB, 550x404px

>>18601763
>now that the shitposter is out the way...

>>18601760
Speaking for myself, I wouldn't be frustrated. Out of all the things I miss from relationships, vagina is the least of them. (((You))) just need to find a guy like that.

>>18601763
It's not rape if you give permission.

And the matter is, I don't know but I worry I might. I've never been fucked sober and I'm scared it will hurt.

I'd love to be completely drolled out for it, but doctors aren't that pill-happy around here. You'll have to beg on your knees to be prescribed any sort of medication and I have no physical proof that I'd have anxiety severe enough to prevent me from working, because only inability to do labour is sufficient proof of mental illness.

>>18601605
>How do you make sex as an asexual (woman) easier?
I'm no expert but, from what I understand, it should get easier and be less painful with time. I believe you could probably loosen yourself up by using some kind of toy every day.

I've always been curious, as an asexual, are you unable to feel sexual pleasure, or is it that you don't find anyone sexually attractive?

>>18601763
There's also asexual dating sites, just an fyi.

>>18601792
I don't get aroused, I've tried to learn to masturbate for god knows how long and every time I look for advice or instructions the conclusion is that I simply do not get aroused enough.

The concept of "sexual attraction" is completely alien to me. I've wanted to have sex with another person roughly as many times as I've looked at a rock and wanted to eat it.

...actually, I might have wanted to eat a rock more often than I've wanted to sleep with someone.

>>18601796
My home country is so small and sparsely inhabited that there's barely anyone on even OkCupid.

>>18601816
>I don't get aroused... ...wanted to eat a rock more often than I've wanted to sleep with someone

interesting, thankyou.

>>18601849
I wish I could change it.

>>18601760
No, lube won;t be enough.

I can lube up the cushion on my couch but I don't. Know why not? Because I want to have the intimacy I show returned back to me.

If you're going to lay there like a lubed-up starfish, he may as well jerk off by himself.

A marriage counselor told me "fake it until you make it", meaning put some effort into it as if you're enjoying it. If you can't do that, let the BF go (since he'll leave anyway).

>>18601889
>I wish I could change it.
is it that conventional sexual circumstances don't ring your bell? Have you got some fetishes that get your engine going?

>>18601893
I'm not sure if I'll be capable of anything more than resisting the urge to fight him off.

How do you make a guy stay?

>>18601909
I sometimes have a mild interest in bizarre fantasy fetishes that have nothing to do with sex, but even then they are very mild (I still can't get sufficiently aroused to properly masturbate) and then they disappear for months at a time.

And even then, I'm actively turned off by the thought of sex and could never get aroused if I knew it was coming.

>>18601917
>interest in bizarre fantasy fetishes that have nothing to do with sex
explore that. There is something there, a key to unlocking your sexuality. When I was a kid I get turned on by a comic book story where the bad guy turned the heroes into animals. There is no "reason" for any of it, and it doesn't have to have a reason.

>>18601917
>How do you make a guy stay?

Bad news, but if you are with a heterosexual guy with a healthy sex drive, he will not stay with you. Sex is one of the vital parts of a relationship, it's very important and being a human real doll just doesn't cut it. Look for asexual men or inevitably get dumped after first 3 dreary, passionless and sad fucks.

>>18601917
>How do you make a guy stay?
keep his balls empty and his stomach full. share in his interests for bonus points. also, most guys dont want to fuck someone who clearly isnt enjoying the process

>>18601938
I do, every time they show up. I had some for almost several weeks just now but now they've all disappeared again.

>>18601944
Asexual men are so rare I have no choice but to try.

>>18601951
Can't a grown man feed himself? I mean, I'm fine with cooking when living with someone (I was mainly the one who cooked at home) but do I have to like pour his cereal for him too?

I try to check out a partner's hobbies if he wants to share them, but I'm not going to sit through a sports game, it's almost more boring than sex.

Is it possible to fake it?

>>18601917
>How do you make a guy stay?
Men need sex to love, women need love for sex. If you're not providing an intimate, fulfilling sexual component to the relationship, it just won't work.

>>18601982
>Asexual men are so rare I have no choice but to try.

It doesn't matter. You are just coming up with excuses because you realise that asexuality means that the person is broken, damaged in some deep and disruptive way, so you want a normal guy. But you will never be compatible with any normal guy because of your flaw. You have to understand it and accept it, doing that will save you a lot of pain and broken hopes.

>>18601982
most people dont want to be with someone who is faking anything. also ive always seen a woman cooking for me as a sign of affection. you are going about this whole thing wrong. either represent yourself accurately and find someone who is as dysfunctional as you, or get help and fix your shit

>>18601985
Wouldn't he at least appreciate the sacrifice? It's an expression of love for me to endure it in the first place.

>>18602010
>get help

What kind of help can you even GET? Is there some kind of conversion therapy for asexuals?

>>18602012
your "asexuality" is either caused by a chemical imbalance or some deep seated mental issues that can be rectified by a therapist or psychiatrist. The fact that you want to change it means you aren't a real asexual individual.

>>18602012
>Wouldn't he at least appreciate the sacrifice?
Sex is not about "making a sacrifice" or "enduring". Literally no guy wants shit like this in his bedroom.

>>18602018
I don't care, I just want a boyfriend. If the dealbreaker was my inability to watch football, I'd have to figure out some way to stomach football.

You think a shrink can fix this?

>>18602024
>i want something while giving nothing in return
this is how you sound
professional help is your best bet at fixing this, yes. whether it be therapy or treatment for an undiscovered physiological issue or both

>>18602032
What am I supposed to be giving in return? I giving sex not enough?

>>18602037
You are giving cold shit, not true, passionate, emotional and fun sex.

>>18602039
Why is it such a big deal?

I've had men fuck me before and they haven't complained.

>>18602045
Good sex creates strong emotional bonds, makes the relationship more intimate, makes partners more tuned to each others. Good sex means closeness and comfort and trust. There will be always guys who will just pump and dump you paying attention to your participation or enjoyment. But something like this long term? Nah. How long will you take it to understand and accept this ancient truth?

>>18602045
for someone you are just fucking, its no problem
for someone you are in a relationship with, it is unacceptable. to me, at least

>>18602051
Isn't there anything I can do?

Just the thought of having to let someone violate me like that in order to be loved makes me want to cry, and even that is not enough?

>>18602063
No.
Listen, why would someone start a relationship with a girl who perceive sex as something traumatic? As being horribly violated? People naturally like and enjoy sex, women included. How do you imagine any sensible guy would feel with knowing how you feel about having sex with him? That you see you like that? It's the least sexy and the most pitiful thing. Seek professional help or look for an asexual. There are no other viable options.

>>18602077
I am looking for an asexual but there are none on any dating sites.

There has to be some other way.

>>18602081
There isn't, sorry kiddo. See a shrink.

Old bait

>>18602081
There are a lot of guys in the world really into weird fetishes (feet, pegging, etc) who would be okay with not penetrating you if you indulged their bizarre desires.

OP, if you've always felt like an asexual, you literally cannot get a sexual guy. Said and done. It's impossible. They will dump you. I would. Every single guy with at least some libido would. Even the few ones who will stay for the first few weeks would.

If my girlfriend was constantly passionless while having sex, do you know what I would do? I would first talk to her, and if she doesn't change I'd resort to porn every single time and refuse to have sex with her unless she changes her ways. I don't want to fuck a dead fish. I want to fuck a woman, someone who's as turned on as I am.

Why? Because of what the other guy said. I have sex for the bonding. And good sex bonds a couple very well. And if you're incapable of doing that I would definitely feel more detached and distant.

tl;dr: Don't go after sexually healthy guys. They will dump you sooner or later.

>>18602045
asexual and still somehow a slut. something is wrong here.

>>18602132
It's called bait