How do I get my shit on track?
I've been depressed ever since I was twelve. I went to get some help when I was about 15 and I was way too stubborn to even listen to what I was being told and my psychiatrist just gave up on me. I tried to act happy but shit just got too much.
I was in a relationship for 3 years and my boyfriend constantly cheated on me and abused me but I was way too scared to leave him thinking that no one will want me. When I finally left him, I met a guy who just became my best friend instantly. After some months we finally confessed that we had a crush on each other and we've been in a relationship for about two years now and despite the fact that he is head over heels for me, I still feel like I'm just garbage that won't be loved by anyone. I'm so scared that he'll eventually give up on me because of my mental problems and believe me when I say that he's the only reason I live now.
Tl;dr I don't feel like I'm good enough, I've been depressed for quite a long time, I'm not motivated to get my life in order because all I do is play wow all day and I really need someone to tell me what the fuck I should do because I want to be happy.