When is one actually ready to start something new? What exactly

But, looked at more dispassionately, friendship isn’t in any real sense faithful to love. Friendship with an ex does a grave disservice both to the memory of the relationship at its height and the merits of intimate friendship. It’s at once a betrayal of everything a good relationship was and a slight on the ideals of friendship, which shouldn’t be built out of the remnants of another, more ardent condition. What we should replace love with isn’t friendship but that far more honest state: polite distance. That and a real assurance that the relationship, in its best and most enduring light, will always live on in the one place it can safely always do so: memory.

>>18597173
fucking sad bro. saaaaaad as fucckk
relationships feel eternal at some point. moving on is a sad process, i still cant get over the fact that something as beautiful as what i had with her just popped and dissapeared. and i cant get into my head the belief that it is possible to feel the same again about someone else.

thinking that all those good moments are gone and that i can only remember them is brutally sad.

>>18597382
This too shall pass my friend.

Been there.

>>18597440
But when? It's been over two months and I still miss her.

tldr, sry, anyway, why did you break up ?
If she broke up with you for some pathetic reason then she doesn't deserve you. Sounds stupid, but it is very true. Try to silence your emotions at least for a few seconds and think : why exactly are you in this situation ? You'll get over it once you find your answer.

>>18597926
Same guy here, I had something like this a few years ago. I'm quite young, so are you I suppose, anyway, this happenned way back when I was a little teenfag. We were hanging out with each other, we were happy and overall I thought that I have found the love of my life back then. And guess what - no. I've simply realized that she wasn't the type of a girl I truly wanted to be with and she broke up with me for this reason. I was desperate af to have a gf back then and so this shit happened. It took me 2 fucking years to move on, but the reason why I did was this damn simple. Now I'm a bit wiser and I'd rather spend half of my life alone than to be with the wrong person.

>>18597926
For me, I know exactly why it ended. And that reason too is the reason why we will never date again. But I still can't stop overthinking and analyzing our relationship and what we've had. And sometimes I even get sad that all this is gone and will never come back. That lovely person I've spend so many great times with, just doesn't exist anymore or, perhaps, she never existed in the first place...

Anyways, the reason is simple and I still can't get it out of my mind. It's an endless circlejerk. Random memory - man this was fucking awesome - man I reaaally loved that girl - man that girl fucked up terribly - it will never be that way again. This whole thing over and over and over.

Doesn't help that I can't fucking figure out why, after pretty much cheating on me, she cut contact to me. That's what fucking I am supposed to do. I want to cut her. Now I'm stuck wondering why and since we have no contact I'll probably never find out. Feels like she did this on purpose just to fuck me over. Would be so much easier to rid my thoughts of her if only I could have cut contact.

Time will do more than you think right now. No matter how much it will feel impossible now, you'll be a whole different person in some years. I dated my first love, my childhood friend, it was like from some movie. We were the most important people in each other's lives, we did everything together, always. But eventually I had to leave her for reasons that are too many and long to list here. It was horrible, she was my whole life, and I had to cut all of that out. I hadn't even thought about my life without her ever since I was a kid, and now I was facing it. It honestly took a year to fully get back on my feet and start feeling better again. After several years of no contact, we eventually met again, and since we still had a lot in common, we became friends again. It has been years now since then, she is not my best friend or anything, but we are close and both happy with the way it is now. I have absolutely 0 romantic feelings for her and I'm sure she feels the same. We're both in a relationship and happy, and our partners have no problem with us being friends either.

So first of all, you will get over it. You'll be a new person one day. You will meet people more amazing than you can even imagine right now. And, if you someday want, despite what everyone will tell you here, you can be friends with an ex. I know it's rare, and will take a lot of luck too. If either of our partners was the jealous type it might not work, or if either of us still had feelings, same thing. But it is possible.

>>18598043
>So first of all, you will get over it. You'll be a new person one day. You will meet people more amazing than you can even imagine right now.
Thing is, I know and believe this with all of my heart. But my mind still can't stop circling around her. When will that shit stop? She isn't worthy one second of my time. She doesn't deserve positive thoughts about her, she doesn't deserve negative thoughts about her. None of it. Not one second of my damn life.

But I still can't stop.

>>18598043
What if I can't get past the feeling that I made a lot of mistakes and miss her?
Sure, someone "better" probably exists, but chances of meeting and mutual feelings are probably really slim. I thought about the flaws in my ex but they were nothing I couldn't accept or deal with.

>>18598065
We don't know when it will stop. We don't know how to help you since there is no 100% functional tutorial or whatever to help people like you. If you can't help yourself then just wait, it will pass, but it may take some time. A lot of fucking time. Probably the fastest way to rid yourself of this is to find another girl. Preferably one that won't leave you for another guy.

>>18597920
Yeah you'll just feel it. Give it time. How the hell is anyone supposed to know?
If we told you: 'Hey yeah in 50 days you'll be over this person; would you be satisfied?

>>18598065

hate her! woman are often not worthy

>>18598480
Well, can you accept that she left you and never even liked you ?
I wouldn't.
Nobody with even a remotely healthy mind would.

Chances for finding another girl which could have mutual feelings with you are not THAT slim, get your hopes up.

>>18598483
>Probably the fastest way to rid yourself of this is to find another girl.
If that happens - great. If not, I surely won't search and force. I'm not going to replace her. I really haven't lost anything. If it happens, it will just be something new, completely unrelated to what has been in the past.

>>18598485
People are most of the time not worthy. That's why I don't want to invest any thought or energy in them. It's no fault of them anways, just who they are. And that's what she should become. Anyone. Not investing a second.

Hating only compliments her.

>>18598497
Dude, what the fuck do you even want from us at this point ? If you "haven't really lost anything" then why cry on this board ? Are you baiting us ? Damn, I must say, a good one. 8 / 10

>>18598502
WAHAA PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT REASONS FOR DIFFERENT THINGS BAAAITTT REEEE

That's the entire point: I haven't lost anything. Then why the fuck can't I stop thinking (since there are a billion things other than 'loss'). That is exactly what's to be resolved here you illiterate faggot.

>>18598506
kek

You want to know why ? Because you fucking love her. End of story. Nobody can help you.

>>18598484
Yes. I want to stop wanting her because I know it's unrealistic and only hurting me.

>>18598494
She used to love me, now she just likes me a lot. Which doesn't make things easier for me. I didn't even like myself back then. When she broke up with me one of my first reactions was " good, you deserve someone who makes you happy". I need to work on that before finding anyone as good or better.

>>18598511
Good. Keep that mindset and it will pass.

By the way - no, she never loved you. If she did she would be feeling the same shit as you do now. Understand ?

>>18598508
>Because you fucking love her.
Again: That's the point. How to stop this.

>>18598519
Well ? What do you think, dear anon ? Should I point you to a store where you can buy a magical drink which will rid you of your own emotions ? I have already written a few tips that *might* help but there's no such thing as stripping yourself of your emotions in a blink of an eye.

>>18598515
I don't really agree. She did love me once. I started acting like an asshole and she became fed up with it. Feelings can change, and for her annoyance overwhelmed love. According to her it took her half a year to make up her mind and come to terms with ending it. And I do believe she sometimes misses me. Not as much as I do obviously, but it's pretty weird to ask for a worn clothing item otherwise. She seems keen on staying in touch and invited me over for sex one time. We had a great evening. I told her I need distance right now and she respects that but wants to see me at some point and expects some form of contact for her birthday. She also called my parents and congratulated them on theirs.

>>18598550
Why haven't you said so at the start of this thread ? Well, now you can either get together again but that's not a good idea or completely cut her off if you're up for it and based on what you've described in here that's exactly what you want to do. So do it.

>>18598573
Also, you're an idiot.

If you want to move on then why even spending time with her like this ? That's just deepening your own wound.

>>18598584
You realize there are different people in this thread, right?

>>18598591
So where's OP ?

>>18598573
Because there are two sad anons in here, me and the "she isn't worth it" guy.
I deeply respect her, that's why it's hard to accept contact will be cut forever. She said she doesn't want to get back together but I feel as if that's not completely off the table in the future. I like having some freedom and want to date around. Right now getting back together would be a terrible idea, we will both go back to university so it would be long distance all over again. She doesn't want kids but I want at least offspring (sperm donation maybe). Truth be told her boobs could be bigger but it never really botherd me and she wants to have body fat fillings at some point. I also can't understand her aversion to cum, I want to have sex without a condom again. But all the sex stuff seems minor compared to how great sex was in general and how much I'd love falling asleep with my arm around her.
See there are so many reasons for me not to want her, but they all seem small and unimportant when I start missing her again.

>>18598584
Because at the time it seemed like a decent idea, we were both horny for each other, disappointed by a hookup and I thought I could handle it.

>>18598022
>>18598065
>>18598497
>>18598506
>>18598519
this is OP

>>18598637
Alright, that strenghtens my point that OP is just an attention begging poorfag kiddo. I'm sorry that I haven't written this before but OP needs to kys. I recommend the helium method.

kek

>>18598643
>kek
cringe