How the FUCK do I shake this off? I've been stealing my

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How the FUCK do I shake this off? I've been stealing my moms car to get weed with no license basically praying to Jesus that I don't get pulled over or hit shit

Today I was driving and I live in some country shit and basically a deer ran out and I slammed the breaks and I was literally sliding into it so fast i was fucked a million thoughts raced into my head I couldn't think time slowed down then all ofa sudden last second I hit the breaks even harder and turned to the right and just barely ever so slightly by a fucking millisecond missed wrecking and my left bumper barely hit its leg knocked it over and it got back up in two second and the car or deer had 0 damage

I almost wrecked my moms 20k car and we are poor as FUCK and that literally would of been my end because no license no insurance they'd never talk to me again and I just had someone wreck another car smashing into me while I was turning and trying to pass.

I literally almost just fucked up my life to the point of no return and missed by a millisecond and I'm so under pressure and scared now.