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Need life advice.
>23 year old
>only son
>friendless robot
>third worldler
>no neetbux where I live so I have to work
>stressful job (Big 4 audit)
>move out at alone at 22 because parents kept telling me I'm an ungrateful shit
>start heavily drinking at 18
>start ritalin, weed and acid around 20
>at 22 I already use 24/7 lots of shit (weed, acid, MDMA, 2CB, cocaine, ritaline, trammies, clonazepam, DXM, dramamine, alcohol and still not enough)
>first thing I do when I wake up is snort some coke
>only reason I don't do heroin is because I'm too autistic to get it
>attempted suicide twice, ended up in ER in 2 consecutive weeks
>get mild psychosis from time to time because of drugs
>literally use alone locked up in my rented room every single second of my free time, crying from time to time
>some days after I turn 23 almost die of an OD
>most agonizing pain ever
>actually accepted my death
>wake up alive the following day, still with the agonizing pain
>ended up psychotic at the same time
>5 days in the psych ward in a psychotic state
>30 days in rehab
Cont next post.
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>>18593864
What do you mean by ending up psycotic
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>>18593864
>leave rehab
>stay sober for 2.5 months
>suicidal thoughts again 24/7
>back to using again
>try going to a psychiatrist
>she tells me that I can't stop using, tells me that I should be in a psych ward or in a long-term rehab program
>literally everyone tells me the only hope of an addict is the 12 step program
>I'm an edgy atheist robot
>try going to Narcotics Anonymous (NA) through the course of 2017
>can't stay the whole meetings because being surrounded by Chads and Stacies makes me want to puke
>I go yesterday, a literal 21 year old spoiled Stacy crying about her vagina
>I instantly leave
What the fuck am I supposed to do? I don't have the balls to kill myself, being a drug addict is a slow and painful death. I hate everyone and going to NA is hard because I literally hate everyone. I'm not going back to the psych ward again because nothing is fucking optional, if you're getting injected shit every 6 hours for 3 days and being tied up nothing will fucking change that.
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>>18593871
Psychosic episode, being detached from reality, hallucinations, irrational thoughts that don't make sense, being disoriented, being confused, being scared.
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pls respond
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>What the fuck am I supposed to do?
What do you want to do?
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>>18593872
You sound like a cunt.
Just because their problems are smaller in your eyes they aren't less important than yours and unlike you, seem to actually want help.
Grow up and deal with your shit. Stop taking if its making you this way, actually get help and realise that help doesn't cause change, you need to actually strive for it yourself. If you're dismissive or doubtful of it theres no fucking point in going and you should just neck yourself.
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