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When do you intervene in a friend's shitty relationship?
This friend of mine is dating this guy who's a bit of an asshole, and pretty much everyone in our group knows he's bad news but none of us are sure what to do.
He acts differently around her compared to when he's with everyone else (he's nice around her but otherwise is obnoxious, makes belittling comments, and treats many of her friends like shit). They're also texting CONSTANTLY, maybe they're really clingy but before this she practically never had her phone out. Now she even pulls it out when we're all eating out at a restaurant.
When do we do something?
Right now I'm thinking that we wait until we have further information. If he's just a run of the mill asshole, we let her learn her lesson but if he's legit abusive, we'll try to warn her.
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>>18592312
>makes belittling comments,
If your friend's boyfriend says anything about HER, you should be telling her. Treat it like you would with any other friend really.
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It means 0 how he treats others when it comes to how he treats her. You have no right to intervene just because he is shitty to you. Personally my gf has this best friend and I absolutely hate her. Sometimes I don't have the nerve to pretend I'm friendly to her so it will sip through, but that has nothing to do with how I treat my gf. People like you need to fuck off. What happens to you is not important for their relationship.
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>>18592535
You sound like a slightly manipulative cunt. I look forward to seeing you get dumped.
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>>18592535
Nah fuck off. If my girl was being a cunt to my friends when I'm not around, I'd want to know. That's a red flag.
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>>18592312
Maybe he just doesn't like her friends? Just because he is dating her doesn't mean he has to like her friends at all, especially if they are as judgemental as you sound. She is an adult and can make her own decisions and it's pretty insulting for you to imply that you are better at choosing who is right for her than she is. Have you considered being more approachable to her bf?
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My dad practiced as a therapist for a number of years and would always tell me that the number one rule of psychoanalysis is: no matter HOW obvious something is, a patient won't accept it unless they come to that conclusion themselves. You can realize a patient was molested by their dad on day one, but if you tell them that they'll get offended and vehemently deny it. Only 6 months later will they be laying on the couch and go ".... you know what? I just remembered, my dad molested me".
That is to say, if you tell your friend about this bf being an asshole, she'll just get mad at you and defensive of the bf. You really just have to wait for the mess of a breakup they'll inevitably have at this point.
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