Why is everyone want to hookup before seriously dating someone

>>18590562
>I am losing my faith in love and relationships already

Why? Making out/Fucking are just activities that people can do together. You should also do other shit, but what's wrong with hooking up?

>>18590562
>Reconnect with 3 girls from high school
>All were acting super friendly and adamant to hang out
>2 explicitly state they want sex with me
>1 invites me to her bed to cuddle and is clearly making attempts for me to advance
>I reject all because I wasn't interested in sex at the time
>2 "friend zone" me after saying they wanted sex and I didn't give it
>the other one I haven't heard from since that night where I didn't make a move
Sluts man, I tell ya. It's all good now though, found a girl who doesn't mind not hooking up. Women act like men now and it's gross.

>>18590562
because liberalism. no, I'm not from /pol/. it's just a fact of life. give people the liberty to live however they want, and they'll fuck up the finer details, like you're describing.

remain unscathed, OP. don't sacrifice your values to some thot out of weakness. these days men and women alike are stuck as children. people (including you) need to prove they are adults.

>>18590574
>sex is just some shit
No, it's putting your body inside of another person's body and releasing chemicals that form a mating bond. It's not like going out for ice cream.

>>18590581
>implying oxytocin isn't released purely from touching a loved one, including petting a dog

>>18590581
>a mating bond

Condoms man. Oral, anal, handies and fingering. Sex is more than PiV

>>18590583
>bond with a dog is just some shit
>touching a loved one is just some shit
yeah man it's all shit I'm shit

>>18590586
on an unrelated note, yeah, I agree. the physical barrier of condoms does create an emotional barrier.

>>18590574
So you're the type of hooking up I guess? Nothing wrong with it but it's not right either.
>>18590576
This.
This modern world is fucked up. I don't know if I should give in and follow what others people do. Speechless

>>18590593
>the physical barrier of condoms does create an emotional barrier.

I thought you wwere talking about pregnancy. My mistake.

But a condom doesn't block emotions, mate. Those are developed outside the bedroom, going out, talking, spending time together. Getting your dick wet is not love by itself. You need more to have an emotional bond.

>>18590598
>Nothing wrong with it but it's not right either.

And "not hooking up"? Is that right or wrong? Or neither too?

>>18590601
>its just getting your dick wet, like splashing water on it

you guys keep using minimizing language to make sex less important so you can have it like candy

>>18590603
You don't get my point bro. Because it's not a thing to say it's right or wrong, it's the style people live these days. People want sex and open about it. Like back to the good old days if a man wants sex he might look for a girlfriend first but now sex is too convenient that people don't even care to find a partner anymore.
That just sad. They hookup, and separate and hooku and separate, this feel like fucking a high class prostitute

>>18590608

Putting your body inside of another person's body and releasing chemicals isn't a deep emotional conection. To have that, you need to talk and actually share things in life.

Now, can you actually answer the point instead of bitching about word choice?

>>18590617
>That just sad.

To you.

> this feel like fucking a high class prostitute

To you.

You are not the arbiter of how people should live their lives. This doesn't hurt you, so why bother thinking about them?

>>18590642
>This doesn't hurt you, so why bother thinking about them?
I don't think about them as I am judging them. I can't find any one to have a proper connection with rather than wanting a hookup or casual sex. This is why I am saying whether should I give in and follow what others do.
You fuck someone you don't have any connection with abd the next morning it feels like shit. You look at the person laying next to you and wondering wth just happened

>>18590652

And why can't you make connections? I connect on non-sexual levels with males and females all the time in my life.

>>18590657
Because if I started to fuck someone more than usual I'll bond or have feelings for them while they're only wanting casual fun kind of. This is why I now prefer to getting to know a person first before any physical contact involved

>>18590637
>Putting your body inside of another person's body and releasing chemicals isn't a deep emotional connection.
I can't believe someone would be deluded enough to write this. The degeneracy I have seen from people who pretend that sex is simply a mechanical process is very extreme.

>>18590678

You just think you can replace actual emotional connection with sex. You can't. Sex is not love.

>>18590677

As I said above, sex is not love.

The people growing up now see everyone around them hooking up. From your childhood the movies you watch, even the TV you watch is telling you when you like someone have sex with them. The idea of waiting is considered an antiquated thing those nutty religious people do, and they're retards so don't live like them. One of the consequences of this is if you're someone who wants to get to know someone before having sex with them you either end up getting the "just friends" talk all the time or you wait for that rare girl that ends up liking you and wants to wait, then she possibly loses interest at some point and starts hooking up like everyone else. Even the holdouts end of falling prey to their programming and soon you're hooking up with no emotions attached because you've gotten disillusioned and fucked so many girls that you don't even remember half their names.

>>18590688
>You just think you can replace an actual emotional connection with sex.
I don't know what these even means.

>Sex is not love.
I never said that.

This pop psychology isn't beneficial, scientific, or interesting.

>>18590702

>I don't know what these even means.

You say sex forms emotional connection. I'm not even assuming, you say it outright:

>Because if I started to fuck someone more than usual I'll bond or have feelings for them

>>18590712
Oh fuck. I'm the OP. You quoted him and thought it was me bro

>>18590702
>>18590712
You idiots are never gonna see eye to eye on this. Both you fuckers live in a different kind of lives one has Principles he wishes to adhere to and the other is doing the same shit most people are doing nowadays which is treating sex as nothing more than fun.

>>18590731

ANY enjoyable activity helps you develop feelingsover time. Sex is just one of them.

>>18590735

And what is it if not a fun activity?

>>18590742
You're hopeless to argue with. Are you trying to sharpen yourself, or listen to new perspectives? You just keep saying making the same unconvincing argument.

>>18590742
Like I said it's nothing but perspectives dickwand. Some People think of sex as fun and casual while other people think sex is much more than that.

>>18590747

At least I make an argument. You just say "no, you are wrong".

Are you OP? Are you the one that said comdoms block the "emotional connection"? Can you explain how that works? Can you explain anything about your stance?

Or at least, refute what I say. You don't even do that.

>>18590749

But that's the conversation here. Why people feel this way and whether it's wrong.

>>18590756
>Can you explain why physical contact is mentally different if its blocked by something like clothing or a condom?
Why don't you just look it up?

>You just keep saying I'm wrong.
Yeah, because you are wrong.

>>18590767
>>Can you explain why physical contact is mentally different if its blocked by something like clothing or a condom?

Yeah, because you don't hold each other, caress each other, kiss each other. Because you don't feel pleasure through a condom.

Of course... have you ever worn a condom during sex?

>>18590767
This doesn't feel like a conversation so much as an argument, or you trying to lecture others.

>>18590761
There's nothing wrong with it LIKE I FUCKING SAID it depends on how you look at things and life in general.
>Why people feel this way
Because they had a different upbringing than other people, they formed different principles in life because of their experiences etc.
>whether it's wrong.
It's not, you two retarded fucks just want to present your way of life as the truth and want the other to adhere to it.

>>18590777

There can't be change in your own mentality if you just ignore those that disagree. Talking, opening up, is inviting change. Even if it doesn't happen in this thread, we have put our thought in written form, and we have read other perspectives. Maybe that will spark new ideas, maybe it won't.

>>18590790
But the two anons doesn't even want to reach a conclusion and just throw shit fit at each other. So I withdraw

>>18590813

Feel free to withdraw. Good luck.

If you read this, let me ask: Why even talk out if you think we can't change our minds? Just by writting you prove you believe we can change what we do.

I used to think the same as you OP, that sex was a purely something reserved for relationships and someone you love

Until I'd had quite the dry streak and an acquaintance had offered to me to become FWB. Granted you're correct in the sense that sex is better in relationships; but it's also different in both cases. Your affection comes out in sex when you love that person.

Damn it bros, you guys argued ok fine but I am not the one who said condoms block connections. I'm not that stupid
>>18590840
Well I know, I'm just tired of it and now just want to find someone to have a proper relationship with not hookup, have fun and separate

Going out to eat with your friends is fun. It's a nice experience, it feels nice.
Going out to eat with your significant other can be amazing. You notice everything: the way her hair looks in the dim lighting, the nuances of the flavors in the food, being aware of how you feel about her.

Sex can be the same way. Sex doesn't guarantee emotions or love, and sex on its own can either be shitty or a fun experience. But a one night stand isn't likely to change your life, make you feel fireworks, or make you feel in love. And sex with the love can be shitty. Married people who are in love can have awful sex that leaves one or both of them feeling used or hollow. It's all about the context in which you have sex.

>>18590866
>sex with the love
LOL the alcohol, man. My bad

>>18590862
>No, it's putting your body inside of another person's body and releasing chemicals that form a mating bond. It's not like going out for ice cream.

Are you the one that said this, at least?

>>18590878
Not even me. You can tell this isn't my style of typing. Two different person

>>18590891

Have you replied to any post here?

>>18590895
A few. Like the one where I said I'll have feelings for that person if I keep having sex with them more than usual. Ir the one with "tired of waking up with a stranger lying next to me" kind of thing.

>>18590900
>the one with "tired of waking up with a stranger lying next to me" kind of thing.

Well, do you have female friends you might want to date? Do you see someone interested in you?

Do you try to connect on some level beyond sex?

>>18590908
Well I got some. But they only wanted to hookup. Like going to their places when they're drunk kind of thing.

>Do you try to connect on some level beyond sex?
This. Is exactly what I am looking for. I don't want to have some fun and then go look for another fun. I want stable and meaningful things which is rare and also easy to be made fun of nowadays

>>18590562

>Why is everyone want to hookup before seriously dating someone or from a hookup become a relationship? I just can't deal with it anymore

Firstly, you and I share a different definition of "everyone". There are tons of people out there looking for sex in strictly committed relationship and characterizing everyone as a slut isn't a valid excuse for not being able to find a decent partner. It isn't difficult to find someone to get to know and have a serious relationship, you just haven't been able to accomplish it and instead of addressing your failure in a fair, concise manner you instead try to blame the world for not containing the girl you want instead of blaming yourself for failing to find her.

I'm nearly 40 years old and the overwhelming majority of women I know would never have sex on the first, second or even third date. Some people are into casual sex and some people aren't and its your responsibility and your responsibility alone to find people who you can relate with and share your values. Stop looking outward for someone to blame for your relationship failures and look inwards. This may require going out of your comfort zone a little bit but sitting around and complaining about people you don't like isn't going to help you find someone you do like any quicker.

>>18590916

But do you try to have it? DO tyou set up dates and activities? Do you insert her into your life, your hobbies, you interests, your circle of frinds, etc?

>>18590562
I'm at the point where it's disgusting but as long as I get my virgin marriage I don't care about anything else.

>>18590926
No. They're busy with their life as well and apparently they have another standard for their men/partner that I only get involved with when we're hanging out in a group and partying kind of. Other than that they never wanted to involved in any other activities. >>18590924
This is where I thought I should started to look for older people. I am pretty young compared with you and in this social life the question "did you sleep with him/her on the first date?" Considered quite normal.
I don't blame, I am asking if I should give in and follow this lifestyle.

>>18590945
>No.

Then maybe something isn't working out on your end. If people that know you don't want to date you... ask yourself why.

>>18590949
Because we're friends!?! It's easy to fuck and blame it on the alcohol than dating your friends knowing it won't working out because they have high standards while you're just average person with a average- stable job and not so into partying instead being a bit of home person and enjoying hiking or climbing stuff?
I don't have problem getting dates, I dated but no one lead to serious relationship with yet

>>18590945

>I am pretty young compared with you and in this social life the question "did you sleep with him/her on the first date?" Considered quite normal.

That just isn't true, man. Its really difficult to "give in" and follow a trend based on solely your anecdotal observations of the world. You can ask 5 people what they think of this "trend" and get 5 different perspectives. There is a really really big world out there. Don't get so blinded by your own perceptions that you start to believe that the interactions you've had with a few women represents interactions all men have with all women.

>>18590981
>I dated but no one lead to serious relationship with yet

Why not? They wanted sex to fast?

Also, you did say this:

>apparently they have another standard for their men/partner

So it's not just about being friends. They don't seem to regard you as someone to date.

>>18591005
>So it's not just about being friends. They don't seem to regard you as someone to date.
Apparently it is that way bro that's why they're friends not lover

>>18590985
This's how hard to find the one to be with

I don't know about you, but I sure as hell don't want to enter a relationship with someone whose penis I don't know. Sense of humor, personality, all much more important than his penis, but still.

>>18590578
to who? the rest of the kids?
you will never be an adult in a sea of aged children.