>tfw don't have the initiative to actually do anything with my free time other than mindlessly browse the internet or wander around London, hoping a divine intervention causes me to stop thinking my youth was wasted (used to drive around my old city doing the same thing)
>tfw read books and go through programming tutorials but too lazy to go off the beaten path and do anything in the real world (write creatively, actually make something)
>tfw feel guilty 100 % of the time about not learning or doing a million different things a million different ways
>tfw all this time I know kids are getting rich on the internet, normies are having fun in real life
>tfw all advice and advertising feels like propaganda and advertising
When you get right to the core of things, I simply don't have the balls / will / (whatever you want to call it) to follow my own interests and intuitions.
>>18589472
Do things even if you don't want to. Motivation creates desire, which creates effort, which creates a reward, which creates motivation again. If you just put out effort, even if you aren't truly motivated, the reward system in your brain will reactivate. This is, of course, assuming that you make healthy changes in your life such as diet, exercise, and healthy relationships.
Depression is your misery. It's not the fact you aren't doing anything about it - that much is all your responsibility. There's no such thing as miracles.
>>18589472
Also
>All advice feels like propaganda and advertising.
I'm here to give you advice. It would be propaganda if I gave a shit whether or not you followed it.
>I feel guilty all the time.
No need, probably.