Guys, help. I'm scared my boyfriend will break up with my

>>18589414
>I got so frustrated at this argument that I just walked of out of his house and drove home. This happened 3 days ago and I haven't heard from him.

this is where you fucked up. you just rendered yourself emotionally unavailable to him. So he is confused about what you want.

Do you want a real relationship with a pretty high degree of honesty? Because if you do, unless he was being actively hurtful to you, you had no reason to just walk off. How the hell are you going to deal with problem in the future?

If you needed some fucking time to think about it, you should have just told him that in the moment. "i'm getting frustrated right now, can you let me think some more about this on my own before we talk about this anymore?" How simple would that have been?

your problem isn't that you don't have a backup employment plan in the relationship.

lol did you go to joe kubert?

you're so screwed. go find a fucking retail job for part time work like every other artist out there.

>>18589434
>
If you needed some fucking time to think about it, you should have just told him that in the moment. "i'm getting frustrated right now, can you let me think some more about this on my own before we talk about this anymore?"

I did say that. He just gave me a "whatever" and stayed quiet while we watched tv.
I asked him 30 minutes later if he was still upset with me and he just went "yep".

At that point it just felt uncomfortable to stay so that's when I said I was going home and he just said "ok go ahead"

We've also had this conversation more than once. The past two times it ended with him saying "do what you have to do, I won't ask again"

And yet he asked again.

>>18589441
I did actually. But many people from my graduating class went on to great careers. One person is storyboarding, a few others are creating art for dc and marvel.

The job I had at the game company was through a Kubert School alumni so I thank the school for that.

>>18589454

well, 30 minutes isnt' much time to make a life decision to be fair to you.

but he obviously doesn't feel like your either a:taking it seriously, or b: willing to sacrifice to make the relationship work.

he asked again because its a cry for help in the relationship. You're right to be worried because he's throwing up all sorts of warning flags for you to read.

But he still wants it to work, otherwise he wouldn't bother telling you shit.

it sounds like if you guys are trying to be serious to the point of marriage, you need to have a relationship planning talk, where you guys see the world with eachother in 5 years, kids, career, etc.

it sounds like you're not synching your communication to a collective goal together.

>>18589465
Looking back, I probably should have gone to a school like SVA or Pratt, at least I would've had a bachelor's degree in case the art career didn't work. I was also interested in going to Savannah College of Art and Design when I was in high school, but I didn't get in because of my SAT score.

If I did decide to go back to college, maybe I'll look into FIT.

>>18589471
>
it sounds like if you guys are trying to be serious to the point of marriage, you need to have a relationship planning talk, where you guys see the world with eachother in 5 years, kids, career, etc.

If he talks to me. I haven't heard from him since Tuesday. And if he does contact me again. I don't know what to say.

I'm just really frustrated because boyfriend or not, I don't know what my backup plan is. I've told him I'm building a portfolio, learning new skills and taking freelance jobs, all while applying to New jobs and networking, but that doesn't seem enough for him.

He's suggested going back to school, but if I decide to go back, I don't know what to go back for or where.
He suggested maybe taking classes at his university, just to get my prerequisites in, but the tuition is a lot. His university is in Pennsylvania, while we live in New York/New Jersey. He's mad I didn't even attempt to see what's in the Pennsylvania area because he would like me to live with him when he goes back for his last year of school. He's not going resent me if I went to school or found a job in NY, but he's upset at why I haven't looked at places near his university.

>>18589481
if you're a NY state resident FIT has in state tutition.

are you pushing for commissions? marketing yourself?

>>18589697
I would remind him that you are not made of money

you need to be the one to reach out though, even if ends up with you guys taking a break. it might help you focus on getting what you need together

>>18589414
>I got so frustrated at this argument that I just walked of out of his house and drove home. This happened 3 days ago and I haven't heard from him.
You're the one who shut down and walked the fuck out. It's on you to be the one to reach out, not him.

>>18589697

you're too fixated on the advice he's telling you, and not focusing enough on the 'why' of the matter.

>>18589772
>>18589710
Then what should I say? I'm just afraid it's going to turn into another argument.

>>18589772
I walked out because we were both quiet and there was too much tension. I told him I am doing the best I can and he just didn't think it was good enough.
Eventually I just said "I think I'm gonna go"
And he said "ok go ahead"

I'm not sure what I can do at this point.

>>18589908
>>18589901
You come up with a real plan and talk to him about it.

Everything you mentioned before about building a portfolio and training and learning new shit and whatnot can all be done as a hobby while you work some basic retail or office job for example.

>>18589908
>>18589901
ouch. I think you need to consider taking a break from the relationship.
if you want the relationship to work, you need to contact him. ask how he's doing, report on any progress, and if an argument starts, ask what he would do. if the answer involves money, ask him if he's going to help.

find a part time job doing anything. hell, whole foods hires people to draw signs.

>>18590013
>>18589995
The problem is, he looks down on retail jobs. When I mentioned I should look into retail just for the sake of having a job, he looked at me in disdain. He considers retail a dead-end job. I'm making the same amount of money in freelance anyway.

>>18590045
yeah, but retail is a steady paycheck that you don't have to worry about figuring out your own estimated taxes.

if he can't handle that retail is a real job, you might have a silver spoon baby.

a job is a job. it looks good on the resume, it a reference, it fills in the gaps.

>>18589798
I know the why of the matter. I need to find something that will give me a good steady income if we are to have a future together.

What annoys me is the video game job I had was supposed to be my "foot in the door" and it hasn't led to anything else. My job was taking graphics and art from slot machine games and converting them for mobile slot machine apps. I can't find a similar job here in New York.

I almost got a job with Konami gaming in Las Vegas. I had to do an art test. While they liked my work, they went with another candidate that was closer. However they said to keep improving my work and apply again when they have openings again.

It's sad when the only companies that have called me were from Vegas.

>>18590051
>it fills in the gaps

At the same time, companies like to see relevant employment history. You know, the whole bullshit of "at least 4-5 years experience working at a relevant company".

If the artist is doing freelance, that fills in the gaps in the resume.

>>18590067
If you're really into getting an art related job, you need to be willing to move. NYC has a million artists to pick from and you probably will get shit pay because you're a dime a dozen.

>>18590076
I am very willing to move.

Problem is, a lot of companies usually want someone close who can start right away.
I can't move unless I have the job first but I can't get the job unless I move there first.
It's like a lose-lose situation.

>>18590074
Keep doing freelance while working then.

You don't have to put your pay-the-bills job in your resume if you feel it will hurt you know.

Op again.

I texted him
"I'm sorry I ran out. My life is just in a very scary right now. I love you and hope we talk soon"

I don't know if that was the right thing to say or do, but I want to try and resolve this. I know I need a backup plan, but I need his support as I try to figure it out. If he can't understand then I don't know what to do.

I didn't expect to be in this situation. I had never been laid off before, so I was thrown into a situation where I wasn't sure where to look. It's frustrating that it's taken this long to find something new.

I just feel like a piece of crap and just feel incredibly anxious and depressed. Maybe I need to see a therapist.

>>18590698

it also sound like you don't have a very big social base. do you not have any family or friends to talk out this stuff with?