I cheated on my bf. I didn't bang but I kissed and jerked

>>18589394
Break up. Its clear you wasn't to date this other guy and cheating is gross.

Leave your boyfriend. The relationship is dead. It would be better for both of you, and its not because you cheated (though it doesn't help).

>>18589394
Also,
I
Do realy like the other guy a lot. Bc of
His morals, principles, loyalty as a friend, etc which I don't feel like the same about my Bf. I'm not eeven realy physically attracted to him like he's two inches taller than me and kinda short, (my Bf is tall), my bf has money and he doesn't, he's just there for me.im pretty sure he doesn't want a relationship though I'm not trying to leave my bf for him, I just think I guesss my
Needs aren't met in our relationship and yes I've talked about how him travelling alll the time makes me feel, he said recently he was done going places without me and invited me
To
Go to Bermuda with his dad and sister in a couple months and said we could move in together. But its always a cycle of trying to make things perfect and then the tape falls off and it's back to what it really is

You need to tell him what you did and end it.

>>18589423


Yeha I think so too. It's just the fact that he noticed I was pulling away and tries to make things better like planning a trip with me and moving in togetherr. But idk

>>18589425


I'm not telling him
Either way, I don't wanna hurt him or ruin his future relationships and make him feel like he can't trust anyone. I'm doing it to help him

>>18589427
>>18589433
As long as you end it right away, I don't think there is a need to tell him. Be honest and tell him why you are ending it (lonely, leaving you home while he travels, etc etc) but you can omit the fact you cheated on him for now. It will just cause too much unnecessary pain and anger.

>>18589433
You're being selfish. You need to tell him what you did. You're not sparing him, you're sparing yourself. He needs to know that you're not a person to trust anymore.

>>18589440
Yeah

>>18589443
Dude no. He's lied to me about so much stuff. He tells me he's having drinks with the guys at their house and I find out he's bar hopping till 1am. He's not a person to trust, and I guesss it made me stop being so loyal to him

>>18589443
>You're not sparing him, you're sparing yourself.
I do agree with this, but I also see the point OP might be trying to make. Lots of people have trust issues and insecurities because of a past partner cheating on them. It hinders their ability to have healthy, trusting relationships in the future

>>18589446
Lying about going out with friends for a drink an lying about giving someone a handy while making out are hardly comparable. You seem so awful. No wonder he wanted to get away from you all the time. You need to look at yourself and see if you can fix anythint. I forsee you cheating on the next guy you're with or at least having relationship trouble. Fucking man up and be honest.

Well, I agree that if you just end it and cut off contact then you don't strictly need to tell him, but especially if you plan on trying to stay with him you should tell him. A relationship based on secrets and lies is a terrible thing. You're not helping him, you're trying to maintain control. It's a really unloving thing to do.

You're also clearly not happy in your relationship either so I'm not sure why you'd wanna stay together at this point anyway.

Hmm...
Well... I think the relationship really seems dead. Doesn't mean it can't come up again.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do, just open up the views...

You love your bf, and he has all those qualities, but you already know the price to date him... The question is if you are willing to pay that price.

If you are willing to continue the relationship, do bear in mind that you might find yourself in this same position many other times...

If you are not, I see no need to tell him about the cheating. It's just unnecessary pain.

You are a fucking sllut. you defiled the bond of trust you had, you have comitted a big big evil.
Do not think you can get away with this, unless you sincerely regret what you do and repent to God, and change your life around.

>>18589446
Tips for talking about cheating on your SO:
- DO express remorse and admit you fucked up
- DON'T justify the fact that you decided to look for a solution outside of the relationship instead of talking and working through your issues with your bf like a mature adult

>>18589448


Exactly. That's all I'm trying to do.

It doesn't matter whether or not he trusts me, Bc if we break up
We won't talk to each other again.

Before he started lying to me and leaving me and there's stuff I left out also, I was extremely loyal and trustworthy. He's even told
Me if I ever cheated on him it
Would fuck him up Bc I'm the first person he completely trusts. I don't wanna ruin it for him so he has trust issues/doesn't wanna be with anyone again.

If we break up I won't talk to him again so it doesn't matter whether he trusts me, I'm doing it for him, I have friends who have been cheated on who are wicked fucked up from it.

>>18589457


Well instead of breaking up with him, that's what I did, he's my first serious realrionship and I'm scared to end it, I ddint want to. But I wass going crazy alone by myself all the time, having someone but not actually have someone. Having a boyfriend and being taken, but not gettig any benefits from having a boyfriend like
Emotional
Support and a shoulder to cry it. It's fuckinf awful


I know I'm not a good person, I already said that and asked for nonjudemebral advice. I know what I did was really bad, I know I'm a shittty girlfriend for what I did.

>>18589470
You know this and still won't listen to advice. Why even post?

>>18589470
Okay, so you did something bad, it doesn't make you a bad person for the rest of your life. It doesn't make you unworthy of forgiveness or love.

That said, fear to leave a relationship is a bad reason to stay in it. It's very scary to let go of a space where you feel care or affirmation, it's very hard to be alone. And it's hard to accept that you don't have love in your life. But your relationship does not sound like one where love is present. If you want it to be, if you want to grow together with your boyfriend and be happy, basing it on a lie will not work. If you reflect on it, really think about it critically, and accept that there is not love in your current situation, the best thing for you to do for yourself and your partner is to move on. Work on loving yourself and finding someone to actually share that love with.

>>18589460


That's a really good point. If we stay together, there's a huge chance I'm going to feel alone/needs not met etc again and want to reach out for other people.

we been together for 2 1/2 years, so I don't think this fact is going to change

>>18589486


Yeah. I know. That's how I feel too and it bothers me how judgmental and rude some ppl are. I kissed and jerked someone off while my boyfriend is drunk as shit in Las Vegas, travelling the world for months and not even being therre for a phone call. I know it doesn't excuse me for my actions, but I'm not a bad right awful person who just cheats on ppl for no reason with no regret or guilt or anything.

Yes, I also feel like I have a loveless relarionship. I don't think my Bf deeply cares about me even though he says he doesn't and sometimes he acts like it, his actions speak otherwise.

The guy I cheated on him with waited for me to get in my car and I couldn't open the door and he waited and shouts are you ok? If that was my boyfriend, he would have just drove off and not cared. It's like two different Pppl. I love the shit out of my Bf, but he's not caring enough for me I don't think.

>>18589499
you are a fucking slut. I hope you trust someone and rely on them, only to find out he is screwing someone behind your back, and does not give a fuck about you.

You are a piece of shit

>>18589394
>I really love my boyfriend.
>I'm just jerking dudes off because he's gone, and I'm not enjoying it.
You need to have a secure attachment style. (Meaning you're insecure, and need to work on becoming secure.) You might want to see a counselor. You ought to examine whether or not a relationship where your partner leaves for six months is suitable for you.

>>18589499
Hey OP, not judgemental because I have done much more than you and will leave it there. Similar situation as you except the guy I became close with was better than my bf it was just my sense of loyalty that kept my panties on as long as they were. My suggestion is you don't tell and plan to break up but not to be with the friend either because she definitely isn't the one for you. I would spend all this alone time you have with the bf away looking for a better guy, one you really want to be with and wants you and it will make it real easy to decide. Good luck.

>>18589499
It's hard to ignore the people calling your names and such but those people don't even know you, their desire to shame you is based on themselves, not on you.

You say you love your boyfriend but you have done something very unloving. Power imbalances, betrayals, lies, these things negate love. Define for yourself not just your needs and desires but what love means to you. You're not going to find a really fulfilling relationship until you can identify how to love, not just how to be loved.

>>18589501
Yes angel.

Look in the mirror. You're not god so no right to judge anyone else

>>18589514
True. Thanks.
And seriously I think people who judge like that you don't know me, I already said I regret what I did and don't feel good about it. But what do you want me to do? I'm trying to make things right and realize I make mistakes and I'm not proud of any of it .

It honestly all started when I realized he was super close with his exgirlfriends Triplett sister and brother, which I know from reading snaochat texts he had a crush on the sister. I was disgusted by that. He finally ended his friendship with the sister (after going to her house from 8-10 at night without telling me until after and ignoring all my phone calls and texts) and then she convinced him to stil try to make me like them and hang with them (are you fucking joking) finally a month later he ended it with her but yeah, that's when I stopped loving him all the way I think. Maybe I don't love him enough, and he's lied and proven himself to be untrustworthy but I wasn't one to just walk out, I know no one is perfect, but now after what I've done I just feel so bad .

>>18589394
if you actually do love your bf, you need to tell him and let him decide if he wants to continue the relationship

>>18589394
Just re-read wtf did you just type here.
--I dont know what i want ,while i love my bf and jerk off some dudes dick while thinking which one i should pick to be with instead of actualy trying to fix things. Yeah, you sure love him
alright.
Im realy amased what some people do with their life and then whine about how unhappy they are in later years.Good luck anyway.

>>18589531
>try to make things right
>won't be honest
I think this is why people are attacking you

>>18589531
Damn OP, if anything you are purposefully blind, your guy is cheating on you. What you did doesn't compare I just wish you could detach from the guy and let this go. He's killing you bit by bit and now you are the one feeling guilty.

>>18589503

That's not why. He's not there for me emotionally. He's not reliable or dependable.

How would you feel if your Bf was going to Ireland to visit his family w two of his friends (both who have cheated on their exes) and said you could go, but then last minute told you that you can't go and he wants to go without u

Therre so much stufff I leave out but the main theme is that I have a boyfriend but I feel like I hVe no one

>>18589545


That's what I've thought a lot too. Like ppl heree are judging me yet don't understand what I go thru, how it Acfuallt fucks my brain up, and that I'm not proud of what I've done but ts my response

Leave him, you dont feel bad about what happened so obviously you dont give too much of a fuck about him. You'll both be better off. After you end it i suggest you find some morals. What you did was terrible regardless if he finds out or not.

>>18589538
yes, the fact she does not see how disgusting she is makes me sick

>ask for advice
>attack everyone that gives advice
>don't listen to advice

What did she mean by this?

>>18589555
she only wants to hear from people that is is ok what she did. OP does not deserve love unless she learns to have a heart and care about others instead of being a selfish bitch

>>18589554
>>18589552
>>18589559

Why do you guys think I'm on here repeatedly saying I regret what I did and I don't think I'm a good person? Wahr do u want me to do, put a gun to my head? I know what I did was wrong I'm considering getting therapy and I am trying to make things right which is why I'm seeking advice . I'm ignoring the ppl that are just leaving comments lm"ur a gross slut, fucking birch" cool, that's not gonna help my situation. I noted that I'm not a good person, now I'm trying to move forwrd.

>>18589551
I can identify with what you are going through having gone through it myself several times with different bf's. One in university, I thought we would marry, got where he never called but would show up when he wanted to have sex. We were together 2.5 years, families were close but he was selfish and thought I would always be there and then I wasn't. This time I was stupid and slept with a coworker that said they were in love with me and hounded the hell out of me for months even after telling him I didn't want him. Anyway I broke up with my bf but it took forever because he would fuck with my head and make me believe we would marry only for him to take off again. Years later I found out he was cheating with many girls as I sat waiting.

>>18589549
I don't think you comprehend my post. Read it again and Google the terms so you can learn something and make changes.

And yes I would be very hurt and upset if my bf did that

fuck them both and pretend that you dumped the other guy

>>18589563
Stop bickering with the unhelpful posters and spend more time considering the helpful ones. You came here for help, right?

It seems that you are only here to justify yourself to a group on randoms instead of actually asking for advice.

I know you did it because youre insecure and your bf seems to have dissed you. Forget about the moral aspect and look at solving the problem.

>>18589424

According to the infos you are giving us here, I can suppose that the problem lies in your decision making process.

You choose your bf becouse he's tall, has money and shit. The guy you made cum in your hands is just there for you. Seems you don't have really any kind of feelings apart from frustration for the way your bf puts you in a niche, and a general sense of hatred and desire of revenge.

You aren't going anyware in the world of relationships. Well... you are going in a place that you really don't want to be: as soon as somebody won't give you the attention you think you deserve, you are readily giving handjobs to other guys that you percieve, after all, only as dear and worthy friends?

I think you should put it in this way: he doesn't make me a part of his life, so it's better to end it because we cannot feed our love if things are still going like this.

I don't know how you call that handjob, I know that there are girls who give ass or mouth and still believe they are not cheating, but for me it's cheating. And you are not supposed to cheat, even if he did.

The mistake is done but you are not a slut or a piece of garbage and shit. Recover, go on, and find a guy with whom you can have a relationship without any kind of friction distance-based. Godspeed.

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>>18589563
you say you regret it...
but the way you are talking makes it obvious you do not care so much at all....

>>18589566

Omg that sounds exactly like me

>he was selfish and thought I would always be there but I wasn't
Yep, that's pretty much me now
>he would fuck w my head and make me believe we would marry
My Bf everytime he sees me pulling away goes on about how weere gonna marry this and that, that we're gonna move in together in a couple months etc
I don't like to ever think he's cheated or is cheating but sometimes I wonder if he's actually been cheating on me all along :/

actually heres some serious advice. why the hell did you cheat? you have to know that in the end you will probably not get them both and eventually be alone. just think about that next time. Good luck!

>>18589563
Because there are tons of threads like yours a week. It's always someone that cheated and wants validation that they aren't a bad person.
You fucked up, time to pay the fiddler.

Kek cheaters always have the dumbest justifications for their shitty actions, cracks me up.

Remember op, once a cheater always a cheater. You'll now be a cheater for the rest of your life.
You might be able to wash the cum off your hand but you can never wash this off.

>>18589580
That's not why I choose my Bf. When we started dating two and a half years ago he had no money. He's also like overweight now too, I'm not really attracted to either of them. I was just pointing something out.

and no I've tried a longtime to get my boyfriend to include me more in his life. It's not like he goes on one trip and I cheat on him. It's been happening for a long time. Wahr hurts is that he goes to Ireland to visit his family and says I can go then says I can't last minute and says it's a guys trip. It's just really weird imo

And yeah, I guess the reality is we should break up. I don't want to, but what I want with us isn't real. Idk what I'm holding on to anymore.

>>18589583
I didn't want to believe it either but found out one of the girls he cheated with was his best friends sister. I was so ANGRY. Always thought he had something for her but he always called her a slut or cunt or whatever. Another I heard about was a girl that worked at a taco place near campus. It went on and on.

>>18589598
Not this guy but he is absolutely right.
No respectable man will want to be with a degenerate like you.
You better change your life around and make it positive somehow, because you have alot of weight on the evil side that will not go away by beta's or playwrs telling you it is all alright.

>I feel alone

Translation: I hate myself too much to be my only company.

>>18589601
>not attracted to my bf
>jerking other dude off im also not attracted to

That might be pretty stupid. If you're not with him for looks where has he been this past six months? Shits retarded

You think it is an excuse to fucking cheat because things aren't going well?

Wtf you dumb bitch.

A real woman would make effort to make it work, being supportive, communicating in a good way to solve the problems together, go through the hard times with patience and love.

If the man really is a bad man, you have done the best you can, and go in the proces of seperating.

You never cheat!!!

You are really disgusting you act like it is a valid excuse. Its a fcking disgrace and you are a filthy slut

>>18589626
I cannot imagine how hard it must be to lie to your conscience trying to justify such a grave wound to a bond, being a disloyal peace of shit

>Cheats on him
>hmmm... How can I make this his fault?

God you're fucking disgusting. After killing the relationship try doing it to yourself.

>>18589645
This is why we should eradicate feminism. This is the attitude it brings.

Princess can do everything and blame everyone else for your mistakes.

We need to get back to good morals, and raising our kids with them instead of the modern freedom, yolo shit

>>18589645
Yeah telling someone to kill themself makes u a great person if you think what I did was wrong, telling soemiem to kill themself is a lot worse sweetie .you could be put in jail

>>18589649
Oh, you also mean the man can run off and do whatever and the little woman is to sit home wringing her hands with worry the dinner may be cold when he finally comes home.

>>18589649
In an educated world you need science to convince people of things. Many are too stupid, ill, or plain ignorant to see that yolo etc. is not a good philosophy. Feminism will not be reversed any time soon. Hopefully the liberal goal of increasing education and welfare of everyone will reverse the degeneracy. I have no idea, but I know Religious Conservatism will fail as society becomes more and more non-secular.

It's actually really retarded that you think feminism can be reimbursed. It's extremely profitable. It entanchizes women to buy cars and condos instead of vacuums. The corporate man loves it.

>>18589644
and you would swap places with OP's friend in a second to have her hand on your dick.

>>18589669
>reimbursed
*reversed

>>18589601

Don't misunderstand my post of before (and sorry for my english). I know why you cheated.

The point is that if you cheat, as you cleverly outstated before, and you leave him, there is no need to give him a confession. And as soon you leave him, you will never hear from him again, and stop. You will instead be living with this memory, and you will be dealing with it. So, cheating, if you are not a douchebag or a bitch who is honestly so insensitive that simply is not able to give a fuck about himself and others, is going to affect yourself first.

Probably what is holding you is that you want a face to face speaking to him, to let him know how much this situation had made you suffer. If he goes, he sort of goes "unpunished". Reality is that you are going "unrelieved".

I think is good to have your spaces and time for lads, but you see, I'm 29 and when you hit your 30, you have different needs and your lads have those too. One of them is to nurture a relationship from day to day. So I think you guys ended up in a relationship in which he did not want to invest too much. Take with a grain of salt what I'm saying.

>>18589669
>enchances
*enfranchizes

>>18589661
It's not even close "sweetie" a person can incite anything they want, what op did was break someone's heart just because they didn't want to work on the relationship. If my girlfriend cheated on me my life would be shattered. So it's not just a little mistake.

>>18589424

>morals, principles, loyalty
>let's a girl taken by another guy jerk him off
K E K. Just break up with your current bf princess. Not that i think cheating is bad. I do it all the time ;) just sucks you are making excuses for it though

>>18589682
If you ignored your gf like OP's bf ignores her and runs off constantly she should cheat on your lame ass. Takes two to work on a relationship and OP's bf already bailed, she's tried and it hasn't borne any fruit.

>>18589682


Yes I know I should have left him instead of continuing to be hurt . We are 24, he's my first real relationship. I lost my virginity to him Bc I was saving myself for someone, and I don't like to just give up on ppl . What happened was an accident and not intended. Trust me I broke my own heart, but I guess I didn't know what to do. Call me a coward, it is what it is, what happened had happened, everyone makes mistakes and if you haven't yet.. U will. So be careful before u judge . I used to hate on ppl that did anyrnjnng like me, but now I kinda can understand (tho I don't think there is any excuse for cheating no matter what.. You should
Just walk away but trust me it's easier said than done. I hurt for what I did, if he found out from someone else I would probably be suicidal. So don't think I don't care because I do. That's why I'm on here, otherwise I would
Just continue on and do worse and worse and not care. I'm not trying to justify muself, but before you judge you haven't walked in my Shoes, and you don't know the whole story again yes I did something awful but I'm not a downright awful person who cheats and doesn't care or think it's ok. I don't think it's ok.

>>18589662


Haha I told my Bf I wanted to go to New York with my girl friend and he's not okay with it and says he wants to
Go. It's so twisted .

>>18589675


Yeha I guess . But honestly
I hurt yes, but I can forgive myself . I've been thru tons of shit in my life and I know I can hurt and move on. At least I hope so

Yeah true. We are 24. I don't think he's mature enough. I don't know

>>18589670
>Fucking a roastie
>The same as cheating

Only moral reprehensible if said roastie is the gf of a friend or something. Roasties gonna roast.

Pitiful,I hope you're baiting,shit this is just sadly miserable

>>18589661
"sweetie" in many countries both a male or female found guilty of adultery are to be stoned by death by the law

>>18589837


Yeah Bc I'm married right? There's also a huge chance he has/has been cheating on me

>>18589394
I will judge you, it was a shitty move that a shitty person would pull.

His problems in the relationship do not justify you cheating.

>>18589394
I don't feel bad for OP's bf I feel bad for the sad sap friend that probably thinks he has a gf now over one kiss and a hand job. They are probably married and got 5 kids in his head already. Poor fool.

Sorry OP, but I'm going to have to be judgemental after reading what you just wrote.

You are horrible for doing this, and your attempts to justify your cheating are honestly pathetic and selfish. "Nobody's perfect!" Please. How much of selfish attention whore do you have to be to not remain committed because your boyfriend did some travelling?

Do not lie. You do not love him; if you did, you wouldn't have done something like this to him.

The only decent thing you can do is to tell him exactly what you did and then end things with him. The longer you wait, the crueler you are. And then you need to work on yourself for a long time to not be a shitty person before you go ruining another person's life.

>>18590266


It's not because he "did some travelling"

It's because a. He's been caught in lies b. Travels with his friends who are known to have cheated and invited me then tells me I can't go last minute c. Has no respect / consideration for me d. Is never there for me, gives me no attention e. Blames his mistakes on me f. Has double standards

>>18589394
Been there, done that.

Not judging for seeking attention outside your unfulfilling relationship. But cheating will only make things worse, trust me. Just break up with your boyfriend now, I mean from what you say he doesn't really care much about you if he's hardly around physically and emotionally. But you're lucky cause you already found a new guy, I guess. It's pretty trashy in a way, but whatever right? I would keep it on he down low for awhile if you hook up with guy #2.

So, you fucked up. But don't keep fucking up by staying with your bf and yearning for the other guy.

>>18590392
True thanks
Truth is Yeha. I don't think my boyfriend actually cares about me on a deep deep level

>>18589394
you are a whore.

>>18589424
So you cheat on your boyfriend, lack remorse, the only thing you're worried about is getting caught, and your reasons are "he goes on trips without me." Are you going to pay to go on these trips or are you expecting him to? There is information left out here because these are things you two would have discussed. Nobody is like, "I'm going to Germany for the next two weeks," and the partners response is, "OK, have fun." No, you two have talked about this and you're trying to act like you haven't.

Then you try to say that cheating with this other guy wasn't as bad because all you did was kiss and jerk him off, like it's somehow less than cheating, and now you're writing about how you like this other guy and how he's better than your bf.

If you're unsatisfied with your relationship then break it off. Don't cheat and find excuse after excuse to absolve you of being a shitty, remorseless person.

Hopefully, you get raped.

>>18590373
We're not hearing his side of the story. You're probably a lot worse considering you're a cheater.

None of what you just said justifies what you did.

You need to tell him the truth, break up, and work on yourself. You clearly aren't mature enough for a relationship. This whole thread is you trying to justify what you did. You are selfish and by the way you've treated this guy, you do not deserve the love that comes from being in a relationship.

>>18590404
>>>18590392
>True thanks
>Truth is Yeha. I don't think my boyfriend actually cares about me on a deep deep level

Why should he care about you when you betrayed him like that? How stupid are you?

>>18589394
And now if your boyfriend finds out, he'll feel like a chuck and probably consider suicide unless you are in tears, begging for a chance to reform. Fuck you for what you did, but I hope you become a better person after this experience.

>>18589394
Please go kill yourself and rid the world of your evil and degeneracy.

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>>18591860
pretty much

ITT: whore tries to justify whoring
Youve obviously decided that you dont care about your boyfriend anymore so break up with him and let him find a girl who actually cares about him