Like most threads on /adv/, I'm asking about my girlfriend.

Don't worry bruh. If she cheats, then end it. If you have no irrefutable proof, then continue on. Don't be too clingy, absence makes the heart grow fonder

The low level of contact bothered me, so when we called one night I talked to her about it because I wanted to get it off my chest and we can talk about anything. Her response is that it's been a combination of her being very busy and having poor signal in some places (she's travelling to multiple places, so she's never in a place for more than a few days), and I believe her - I had a feeling this was the case, but I wanted to talk to her about it anyway just to get it off my chest.

She has never given me a reason to believe she would even consider cheating or lying to me, so I don't know why I have this paranoia. The amount that we talk can get quite erratic and infrequent - it could be where we're talking for non-stop, or we hardly exchange a few texts during the day. And then sometimes, we'll be having a conversation and the conversation will literally drop off. And it's not like I initiate all contact - we keep everything well-balanced and it's equal.

I'd like to mention that this is my first relationship ever, so a lot of this is new to me and I don't know what to expect or how to deal with it. Is it normal to be worried if your girlfriend is up to something, even though you have no reason to believe she would do so?

tl;dr - is it normal to feel worried about your girlfriend possibly cheating even when there is absolutely no reason to?

>>18589247
I have no proof whatsoever, and I know she would never do something like it. I think it's mostly about me being insecure because I've never had a girlfriend before or anyone show any kind of interest in me. I have this big insecurity that one day she'll just find someone better than me, get up and leave me for no reason.

99% of the time I'm completely relaxed about this and I feel no doubt or worry at all. But rarely, I will imagine the worst, and it's usually when communication goes radio silent, so then I start to worry and imagine things that are far-fetched.

So I did some googling, and it turns out it's fairly common to feel insecure about your significant other potentially cheating, especially when they give you no reason to.

Has anyone that's ever had these doubts give me some advice over how to get over it? I think it's mostly down to me having low self-worth and not being used to the fact that someone values me, i.e. "why WOULDN'T she cheat on me and leave me for someone else?"

>>18589270
I had this with my girlfriend when we began dating too. I kept telling myself if I wanted my relationship with her to work I would just have to trust her. Since you're still only a month into I can see why you'd be concerned.

>>18589245
Can't you invite her over with you for a week or two? Or plan going hiking together or something?

>>18589280
How did you get over this? How long did it take you?

I noticed this doubt surfaced when she first left for holiday - maybe it's because I can't be there by her side or at least know what she's up to which leads me to think so? I don't know

>>18589337
We have plans to go travelling and doing activities together. The holiday she's currently on was planned before we even met.

>>18589245
Don't worry about it, anon. Contrary to what some guys would say, cheating isn't exactly common. She hasn't given you any evidence that she is cheating on you, and its very common for one person in the relationship to need some space every now and then.

Just trust her. It'll be fine.

It's good that you can be honest with yourself and allow yourself to acknowledge the doubt and uncertainty and paranoia. That'll be there, because human beings get all sorts of crazy thoughts that pop into our heads. I mean it's not even a crazy thought--if you and her seem to be soulmate level, of course you'd be worried about anything that might threaten the security of the relationship because she means so much to you and you're terrified of possibly losing her.

For that reason, these thoughts may not go away entirely, but as you guys stay together longer and strengthen your bond, you'll have more examples of evidence when she was faithful and loving to you. You'll have a better buffer against those doubts because when they do happen to pop up, you can take a deep breath and tell yourself "I'm just feeling a little unsure, I'm forgetting about all those times where she expressed that she wanted to be with me and showed how important I was to her"

>>18589259
You need something that will occupy your mind and time while you're not with her or talking to her.

>>18589252
It's normal. It's good that you talked about it. Part of love is trust and it seems like you know in your head you can trust her. You'll always have some fears in your life, it's natural and unavoidable, the key is finding the strength in love to not let those fears drive your actions. That will get easier the longer you're together and the more you let love into your life.

In addition to making sure you're getting enough from your partner you have to make sure you're getting enough from yourself. Make sure you're taking care of yourself, doing things that make you happy and fulfilled. Low self worth can be difficult to live with but you can't overcome it just by being accepted by others. It has to be personal as well.

>>18589400
I fully trust her, which is why I'm so unsure as to why I feel anxious about the thought of her cheating. 99% of the time I feel completely fine with her and have no doubts, and I think it will eventually pass altogether.

>>18589431
I know, I've been meaning to find something. I'm currently visiting family abroad, so it's not really a holiday nor can I find something to do like I would back home, so it's a lose-lose.

>>18589432
This post reassured me so much, thank you anon. 99% of the time, I have no doubt or anxiety of the thought of her cheating on me. I think what triggers that anxiety for me is when she stops replying or talking all of sudden, along with the added effect of her being on holiday where I have no idea what she's doing. While I'm trusting and hoping she won't do anything stupid, it still worries me on occasion. But I feel better now.

>>18589342
If I recall I didn't really do much except try to explain to myself reasons why she wouldn't do it. Other than that man you just have to bite the bullet and trust her. Getting into a relationship means taking a risk.