I drunkenly cheated on my girlfriend last night. She has a very

>>18585932
depends
If you don't want to lose her, don't tell her
keep your cheating lowkey
If you don't care,just tell her and live your life

>>18585932
Tell her and leave. You've already fucked up, it's too late now.

you're a douche for cheating but you guys were clearly sexually incompatible

just tell her before she hears from other people and disappear from her life

Is there any way to repair this??

>>18585932
Her hearing it from you first is better than anything.

Why did you cheat? I know she has a low sex drive and hardly wants to do anything physical. Why did that make you decide to cheat? Why did you decide to look for a solution outside of the relationship?

>>18586006
Time and time again she's not interested. She doesn't even want me making sexy comments to her because it pressures her into sex. She said she regrets about a quarter of the sex we've had.

>>18586012
You're elaborating on her low sex drive, but that's not telling me why that made you decide to cheat.

How do you feel when your gf rejects you? How did it feel when she said she regretted having sex with you at times?

>>18586012
Is she on the pill? Is she sick? Or maybe some trauma?

>>18586017
It feels awful to be rejected. I wish I could feel wanted or just sexually attractive to someone. I want that attention from her but she's just not giving it and it breaks my heart. I need to feel sexual intimacy and I'm practically addicted to getting it.

>>18586023
She's not on the pill, she's been like thirty for at least a few months. She used to be more active sexually when we first started dating.

>>18586046
Lots of men are conditioned to hide their emotions and hide their vulnerability. They're not supposed to be scared by anything, they're not supposed to mess with those mushy stupid things called feelings! Unfortunately, good relationships are dependent on exposing your vulnerability and expressing your feelings. This can be extremely challenging for lots of people, but often men struggle with this.

We're social creatures. We need people to love us, show they care about us, show they accept us. We all long for connecting with people, even if we try to hide it or deny that anyone has the power to get under our skin. Lots of times, the way people search for that sense of connection is through sex. Lots of people find it easier to feel connected that way than open up that Pandora's box of feelings, fears, and vulnerabilities.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think your need for sexual intimacy is really your need for feeling connected to your partner. Having sex is the easiest, most comfortable way to do that--the other option is to talk about your fee fees, and that's not something many people practice. Does that seem like it might apply to you? That it wasn't purely about having an orgasm but that you were craving connecting with someone and being physical is the best way you know how?

You became a man. Congratulations.

>>18585932
Her hearing it from you first is better than anything.

>>18586056 I got a possible answers she probably recently had news that a friend or family got raped and she still feels sick about it to where she doesnt want anything to do with sex.

>>18586071
I'm honestly really open with her about my emotions. I honestly just want to share sexual intimacy with her as a way that I receive and feel love. I need sex with someone I'm connected to as a way to feel wanted. It could be my own problem but it's something I need.

>>18586178
>Really open with her about my emotions
>Cheated on her
You should like a psychopath

>>18586178
When we feel connected to our partner, we feel safe, secure, and accepted. We feel like our partner truly cares about us and has our back. It seems like you seek sex as a way to initiate feeling connected to your partner, while your partner may need to establish that sense of connection before she can feel safe and secure enough to comfortably have sex. Everybody experiences moments where they're like "I'm feeling a little uncertain about the relationship" and calls out to their partner for reassurance in some way, like a reminder that their partner still loves them and is still there for them. When your gf rejects sex, to you it probably feels like she's neglecting that call to come connect with you. That might leave you feeling rejected, devalued, maybe even abandoned.

Did your gf say why she regrets having sex with you? Do you know her perspective on the importance of sex? More than know, do you really understand it and empathize with her? Do you feel she empathizes with you about how important sex is for you to feel connected? It's important that she realizes it's not just about you getting your dick wet and ejaculating, but really understanding that when you're having sex, you feel safe and secure and loved

>>18586178
>problem
it's not a problem and you're not weird nor unreasonable for wanting to enjoy sex with your partner. the betrayal is the problem.

It's definitely something she should hear from you first. Particularly if this is someone you both know, and it could get back to her through other channels.

If sexual intimacy is a problem in your relationship, it might be worth considering whether you want to leave her altogether. Do you live together? Would it be complicated to leave?

>>18586216
That's really sound advice. I realize that she feels love differently than I do, I just wish I didn't treat her this way. I feel awful. I've contacted a couples therapist in hopes that she'll be interested in giving me a shot and trying it. Though I don't know how she'll react to this.

>>18586230
I just don't know how to come back from this fuck up. I've made a huge mistake and I realize it's totally reasonable for her to leave me. We don't live together.

>>18586243
All it takes is for both of you to be willing to work on the relationship. If you tell her, which I think you probably should, make sure to let her feel her pain. Don't try and defend yourself, don't try and justify her actions. If she asks why you did it, be honest. Don't try and minimize her pain.

My boyfriend cheated on me. It was just a drunken kiss, but that was enough for me to feel betrayed. We stayed together, and we're stronger than even before he cheated, but it was a shit ton of work. A shit ton. But if she's worth it, you'll do it. And if you're important enough to her and she believes you can get through it, she'll do it too.

Couples therapy would be good. I'll also recommend two books: Hold Me Tight and The Five Love Languages. The first one elaborates on how we all need to feel connected to our partner and we ask for that connection in various ways, but we don't always get an answer, and that can lead to fights. Perhaps it can help you understand both why you cheated and why your gf has been eh about sex. Second book is about the different ways people show love and how to work on showing your partner you care in a way that they'll really feel it and understand it.

>>18586250
nut up and tell her, hope for the best, brace for the worst. next move is on her

>>18586266
Thanks for the good wishes. I really hope we can figure something out. I totally understand if she can't stand me anymore. I'm willing to work on it however much it takes. I didn't have sex with this other girl, she was just feeling me up and trying to jerk me off but I pushed away and said no. She kept trying to convince me and it felt good but I had to stop.

>>18586288
Okay well in that case, instead of saying "I cheated on you" I would just say "I need to talk to you about something that happened". Your situation is sort of a gray area because she initiated it and you pushed her off

>>18586297
I guess it still feels like cheating because I went along with it longer than I should have.